I’ve been dealing with someone lately whose dishonesty is costing me a couple thousand dollars. Maybe a bit more.
I really want to be angry at him. I want to be bitter. I want to stone him — figuratively speaking — for what he’s done to me.
But I can’t throw this stone at him, because I’ve been a liar, too.
It’s hard for me to angrily attack someone else’s dishonesty — because my past hypocrisy shouts back and points its finger at me.
The longer I live, the more I understand that honesty is a fundamental value that goes to the core of what a person is. That sounds like something from a Boy Scout pledge or maybe a Sunday school lesson, but it’s genuinely foundational to a person’s character.
I haven’t always known this for myself, even though I would have given lip service to the principle all along.
I’ve told you before that I learned to be a very good liar as I grew up. I learned the nuances of lying — and the justifications for it — from the master liar who raised me. I was really good at it. And I didn’t see the contradiction in my life, much less the fracture it caused in my values and in my heart.
So what does all that mean when someone lies to me today?

A question I’m scared to answer: Why haven’t I made another film?
Emotional wounds in me quickly spot those with similar wounds
What are you likely to regret when it’s too late to change?
We all know fairy tales aren’t true, but maybe we need such illusions
What if a key to knowing what to do is built into everybody’s gut?
I’m terribly sorry to break it to you, but straw polls mean nothing
Weddings are triumphs of love and hope over reasonable fears