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David McElroy

An Alien Sent to Observe the Human Race

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NOTEBOOK: Get ready for the epic snoozer of Obama vs. Romney

By David McElroy · February 1, 2012

Cleaning out the notebook again…

I’m not sure what to say about the Florida GOP results that I haven’t already said over and over again. Barring something completely unexpected, Mitt Romney is going to be the Republican nominee. The fall choice will be progressive vs. progressive lite.”

I continue to hear from my Ron Paul-supporting friends that he still has a chance to win. No, he doesn’t. I have more chance of being struck by lightning than he does of winning. A friend accused me Tuesday night of being negative, but it has nothing to do with that. It’s just a hard, cold analysis of the facts. Neither Paul nor anybody else selling libertarian ideas has any chance of winning anytime soon. That’s not what people want.

People don’t understand basic economics. I’m reminded of that frequently. The latest example comes from a couple who live on my street. They had their house on the market for months and months. They had one offer, but that offer was for $20,000 less than the asking price, so they declined it and the house is now off the market.

They talked to me a few days ago about this situation, and the wife kept saying, “I’m just not going to give it away. It’s worth what we’re asking. People just want you to give it to them because prices are down.” No, seriously. I’m not making this up. People don’t understand that something is worth what a willing seller will take and a willing buyer will pay. The value from a few years ago is irrelevant. What they prefer to get is irrelevant. This very nice woman is angry at potential buyers — who she sees as trying to cheat her. She doesn’t understand the market. Sadly, this is the way most people think. It’s the kind of ignorance that leads to wage and price controls, as well as laws to control all sorts of things instead of letting the market work as it’s supposed to. It’s that ignorance that’s leading us to financial ruin.

I saw a Newt Gingrich ad on a television in public Tuesday where I couldn’t hear the audio very well. Just seeing the video made me wonder for the longest whether it was a parody, though. It’s hard for me to believe that these vague, keyword-driven ads work, but I know they do — because I spent years doing the print version of them. It’s scary to realize just how stupid many swing voters are. It happened to be a Gingrich ad, but an ad for almost any campaign would have seemed just as devoid of substance. I had to admit that some of the pictures of Gingrich, though, were playing into the stories about how much he’s in love with himself.

It would be an improvement if we put the Keystone Kops in charge of border security instead of the Department of Homeland Security. The morons at DHS can’t figure out what’s a legitimate threat and what’s just a pop culture reference. A couple of British tourists were denied entrance to the country in Los Angeles because one of the two had been talking on Twitter — in slang and pop culture references — to the pair’s U.S. visit.

The first offending tweet to another person said, “free this week for a quick gossip/prep before I go and destroy America.” The second one quoted TV show Family Guy in saying, “‘3 weeks today, we’re totally in LA p****** people off on Hollywood Blvd and diggin’ Marilyn Monroe up!” The idiots at DHS thought the pair were coming to the area to dig up Monroe’s body. Seriously. Yes, they really do appear to be that stupid. Instead of understanding that they were dealing with slang and pop culture, the pair were denied entrance to the country.

If you want a laugh — especially if you ever deal with middle school-age kids — here’s something from the Onion that might do the trick. It’s about Oregon parents who have petitioned a court of the right to terminate the life of their brain-dead 13-year-old daughter who is no longer capable of doing anything except texting on her phone and making occasional grunts and eye-rolls.

For the many people who’ve sent kind and supportive messages, I’m doing very, very well after surgery Monday. I had no right to expect that it could possibly go as well as it did or that recovery could start as smoothly as it has. For those who are interested in the details — and a few other thoughts I’ve had along the way lately — I’ll be writing something to wrap up this episode very soon.

I really do want you to know that I deeply appreciate the support I’ve had from many of you. In addition to regulars who I already knew, I’ve also heard from some of you who I’ve discovered have been lurking in the shadows without saying anything. No matter what category you’re in, I love and appreciate every one of you. Thank you.

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Ever since a neighbor strung some decorative light Ever since a neighbor strung some decorative lights in his back yard a year or so ago, I’ve been trying to figure out how to photograph them. In person, the effect is stunning on the yard, but I’ve struggled to figure out any sort of perspective that would be interesting. I’m still not entirely happy with this, but it’s th best I’ve been able to come up with so far. #lights #backyard #birmingham #alabama
It’s 27 degrees in Birmingham after midnight, bu It’s 27 degrees in Birmingham after midnight, but the thick fog covering my neighborhood right now makes it feel magical enough to ignore the miserable cold for a few minutes. #nature #naturephotography #fog #trees #night #birmingham #alabama
As I was getting into the car after work just afte As I was getting into the car after work just after 5 p.m., I looked up and saw this beautiful full moon shining through the bare limbs of a nearby tree. #nature #naturephotography #tree #moon #birmingham #alabama
Here are the top nine photos I’ve posted on this Here are the top nine photos I’ve posted on this account in 2020, as determined by your “likes.” #topnine
It’s very foggy in my neighborhood as Lucy and I It’s very foggy in my neighborhood as Lucy and I take our walk late Saturday night. #nature #naturephotography #fog #trees #night #birmingham #alabama
The moonlight is bright and widely diffused in the The moonlight is bright and widely diffused in the heavy fog in my neighborhood tonight. #moonlight #trees #night #birmingham #alabama
This was the Birmingham sunset just a few minutes This was the Birmingham sunset just a few minutes before 5 p.m. Wednesday. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I just remembered a photo I took as I walked out o I just remembered a photo I took as I walked out of my front door at lunch to come back to the office. As you can see, we still have quite a few leaves on most of our trees. #nature #naturephotography #sky #tree #autumn #birmingham #alabama
As I was coming back from the bank just a moment a As I was coming back from the bank just a moment ago, I saw some lovely color along Shades Crest Road in the Bluff Park neighborhood. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
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Lucy watches me as I start a load of laundry in th Lucy watches me as I start a load of laundry in the washing machine. She seems to think maybe she could come in and help with the job — so we could start her walk sooner. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
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It’s 4 in the morning, but Merlin is still awake It’s 4 in the morning, but Merlin is still awake with me in the bedroom to keep my company. Everybody else has given up and gone to sleep. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2024 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturday
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Like a little feline scientist, Thomas studies the Like a little feline scientist, Thomas studies the strange human in front of him. He still isn’t certain that his ancestors should have allowed Homo sapiens to survive. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Merlin is never thrilled about being picked up, bu Merlin is never thrilled about being picked up, but especially for a photo with me. He seems to think it’s undignified. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2024 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Lucy’s watching the Alabama-Ohio State game with Lucy’s watching the Alabama-Ohio State game with me tonight, so she has her game face on. She’s excited that Alabama is ahead by 21 points, but she stays nervous until the fourth quarter is almost over. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Thomas just woke up from a nap and he’ll be asle Thomas just woke up from a nap and he’ll be asleep again just as quickly as the camera leaves him alone. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Hours after her actual dinner, Molly sits at her b Hours after her actual dinner, Molly sits at her bowl, apparently waiting for “second dinner” to arrive. On the left side of her face, you can see where she hurt herself with her claws one day last week while she had an eye infection. The infection is gone and the claw mark is healing, too. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #greeneyes #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
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I’ve never been attracted to skinny women. There’s nothing wrong with someone who’s naturally thin, but it’s never been my preference. What has shocked me, though, is the judgment I’ve heard from women all through my life — about themselves and others — about who’s “fat.” I concluded long ago that most women in our culture have been brainwashed to believe that skinny is attractive — and that anything other than skinny is ugly. I first assumed that I was the oddball — for preferring women with bigger and heavier bodies — but I’m coming to the conclusion that most men naturally feel this way to one extent or another. I just ran across new research by a couple of Northwestern University psychology professors that shows that women seriously overestimate how much a straight man will be attracted to a skinny woman. In a perfect world, we would all be at a healthy weight, but when it comes to attractiveness, too heavy is more attractive than skinny. At least to me — and to a lot of men, too.

Years ago, I heard a question that seemed very insightful at the time. You’ve probably heard it, too. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? The question is intended to help you uncover things you really want to do, but which you’re afraid to try — for fear of failure. In an interview today, I heard the great marketing guru Seth Godin give a different point of view. He said the better question is to ask what you would do even if you knew it would fail. That struck me as far more insightful than the original version. We ought to be doing what we know is right, not what will maximize our success or praise from others. There are some battles that are worth fighting even if you believe you’re doomed to failure. Those battles are often for love or important ideas or our children. Some things are simply worth fighting for — and the truth is that you might win anyway. Do the right thing. Take the chance.

The more I understand about myself, about human nature and about the nature of reality, the more I realize I’m a radical by the standards of both Modernism and Postmodernism. Seeing the things which I’m stumbling toward makes me an enemy of many of the core ideas upon which contemporary culture is built. It exposes the culture as a monstrous lie — like a dangerous infection that’s slowly destroying what human were created to be. My “inner observer” has always known that truth was found in the ideas of the Enlightenment, but I’m slowly finding words to explain what has merely been instinct until now. The Enlightenment was humanity’s great leap forward, but shallow and arrogant thinkers for the next two centuries threw away the fruits of that achievement. We can’t go forward as a species until we go back to correct this intellectual and spiritual error — and part of that is acknowledging that our collective attempts to do away with our Creator will always fail.

I’ve come to believe that some of us — including me — aren’t very good at knowing how to be happy. I don’t mean that in the sense that happy talk and positive thinking should be able to make us happy regardless of the circumstances. I mean that some of us had so much experience with being unhappy when we were young that we were trained to be unhappy — and that being happy is an unconsciously uncomfortable thing. When I look at times in my past when I should have been happy, it rarely lasted. I believe now that I found reasons to be unhappy — and caused real problems for myself — because being comfortable and happy felt so foreign to my programming. If I’m right, this means that some of us have to do more than just change our circumstances. It means we have to learn how to accept the happiness that we unconsciously fear we don’t deserve.

After I wrote last night about being happy, I thought of an old song that mirrored what I was feeling. After listening to the entire album, I found it remarkable how well the emotions of that music match my own heart at this point in my life. Bob Bennett’s “Matters of the Heart” came out while I was in college. Even after all these years, it holds up really well, and you can listen to the entire album on YouTube. The specific song which matched my feelings last night was “Madness Dancing,” but I still find every song on the album to be strong with the exception of the eighth and ninth. (The song about his parents, called “1951,” is especially poignant.) In fact, the opening and closing songs paint a picture of my heart at its best now in these lines: “A light shining in this heart of darkness, A new beginning and a miracle, Day by day the integration of the concrete and the spiritual.” It’s old music that you’ve probably never heard, but it means a lot to me.

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