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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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Do we really need so much ‘stuff’? Do we own it? Or does it own us?

By David McElroy · July 12, 2012

Why do I pay for 1,450 square feet of space to live in? I think about that frequently, and I don’t have a good answer. I live alone, with just the cats and a dog to keep me company. (They mostly hang out close to wherever I am.) I basically need a desk for my computer, a place to sleep and a bathroom. So why do I waste the money on space that could house four or five families in some parts of the world?

I’ve been thinking about this more and more lately. That makes it sound as though it’s just a rational thought, but it’s more than that. I’ve been feeling something I can only call a compulsion in my heart to get rid of almost everything I own and move to a much smaller place.

Do we really own the things we own? Or do they own us? I don’t have a tremendous amount of stuff — certainly not compared to most people I know — but the stuff I do have is making me feel weighed down. I don’t know why. I just know I don’t like it.

We live in a society with certain expectations of what’s acceptable, especially for those of us in the middle class or higher. We’re supposed to have a home that looks a certain way. We’re supposed to fill it with socially acceptable furniture. We’re supposed to care what other people think about what we have. We’re supposed to want the things that other people have. And most people believe they do want those things.

I don’t think I want those things. They seem like sad things to chase, and they seem to alter a person’s values, justifying doing whatever he needs to do in order to keep making the money to keep buying his trinkets and his expensive space. What if you’d rather get off the treadmill and have a simpler life instead? The world doesn’t seem set up to accommodate those who don’t want the typical home and lifestyle that represents “the American Dream.”

If you look for someplace cheap and small to live, you’ll find shacks and dumps. (I know. I’ve looked.) Aren’t there at least some other people who’d like to live more simply? Who’d like to live in a safe neighborhood with other people who are trying to live a more simple and less stressful life? And if there are, why does no one build housing for that niche? Are there really so few that it’s not worth catering to?

When I think about getting rid of things and living more simply, I can’t help but think of the story of Jesus and the rich young man, which is recounted in several of the Gospels. In Mark 10:17-31, for instance, we read of a rich young man who comes and asks Jesus how he can be saved.

Jesus first lists some moral commands the man should follow, but the man says he’s done all those things. Then comes this famous part of the story:

And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

Some people have used this passage to claim that Jesus told all of His followers to sell everything and give the money away, but I think it says something much more important. I think Jesus knew that the man was a slave to his possessions, and He knew the possessions were keeping the man from being whatever he needed to be. Is that the real lesson of this story — that we need to get rid of anything that is so important to us that it owns us. Since the rich young man “went away sorrowful,” it sounds to me as though his possessions were more important than whatever salvation he understood himself to need.

Some people look at the lesson of Jesus and the rich man and think it can’t have any applicability to them, because they’re not rich. By world standards, anybody who survives in this country is rich. Someone I know who recently returned from Cambodia told me that a salary of $80 or $90 a month made someone quite prosperous over there. Most of us spend that much every month on soft drinks or hamburgers or tacos. By world standards, we’re wealthy — and our wealth owns us.

Honestly, I have no idea what I’m going to do about this. Maybe nothing. But it’s also possible that this will be the time I decide to do something very different and quit letting pride dictate whether I have the kind of place to live that’s socially acceptable. Maybe I’ll go live in a small, cheap place and save the money I’m paying for this place. Maybe I’ll go live in a trailer — if I want to really test whether I’m finished with pride.

Why do I keep feeling this compulsion to get lighter, to get more free of “stuff”? I can’t say for sure. But it’s become something of a compulsion for me lately. I’m not sure I can keep ignoring it, because it doesn’t seem to want to let go of me until I do something about it.

Note: If you’re interested in a much more serious treatment of this issue from a Christian perspective, I highly recommend a book by my pastor, David Platt, that’s become a bestseller. It’s called “Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream.” The book grew out of an experiment that we started talking about and participating in at my church several years back called The Radical Experiment. Here’s something that he wrote for CNN about 18 months ago about our church’s experience.

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For “throwback Thursday, let me introduce you to For “throwback Thursday, let me introduce you to Sam. In 2009, I took in a young feral cat who I named for the early American revolutionary Samuel Adams. He was one of the most confident — downright arrogant, in fact — cats I’ve ever been around. He had an amazing personality and I immediately loved him. He was no more than 8 or 9 months old when he suddenly died for reasons that my vet couldn’t explain. Even though I had him only a short time, he was one of my all-time favorites. #tbt #cats #tabby #feral #birmingham #alabama
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On a live awards show Sunday night, one man made a joke about a female celebrity. The husband of the celebrity was offended and hit the man who made the joke. Or maybe it was staged for entertainment. Who knows? Who cares? Social media is full of discussion — and even arguments — about this idiocy today. This baffles me. Let’s assume for a moment that the event happened as reported. People have been having such idiotic fights ever since there have been humans. Half the bars in the world see such brief dustups regularly. It simply doesn’t matter. The fact that so many people believe they need to talk about this — or even need to have opinions about it — is more evidence of the bizarre media brainwashing that convinces many to care passionately about brain-dead trivia. Your life will be happier and saner if you focus on yourself, your family and your friends, not on whatever scripted (or spontaneous) bilge that the media wants to pipe into your home.

I’m in the middle of migrating this website to new servers this week. This means you might encounter some unexpected behavior until I get all the bugs worked out. Clicking on my links (including this one) might cause your browser to give you the message that it’s a site without a current security certificate. It’s not actually unsafe, but there’s something which isn’t yet set up for the security certificate. I apologize for any such errors you might encounter while the process is going on. If you notice any problems with content which didn’t migrate properly, I would appreciate you letting me know the details at davidmcelroy@mac.com. Thanks for your patience.

I often wonder what animals think when they look at us and consider the society we’ve created. Yes, I know this is fanciful and unrealistic, but what if they could? Would they be astounded at how we treat each other? Would they be disgusted by the ugliness and pettiness which fill so many of our daily interactions? The truth is that I’m feeling pretty disgusted with humanity tonight. I made the mistake of reading some online interactions that I should have avoided — and it sickened me. The people involved appeared to be vile and stupid and arrogant. I wish I could pretend they’re a tiny minority, but I know better. It’s times such as this when I most need to escape much of “civilization” and disconnect from their world. If humans are going to be worthy of “ruling this planet,” we have a lot of growth to do. And I fear that growth is nowhere in sight. So my buddy Thomas, above, and all of his friends would be right to judge us harshly — and to think, “Why do you folks get to be in charge?”

I should have expected this, but I honestly didn’t. The article I wrote last week about disagreements over treatment for autistic children brought me angry emails. You could almost call it “hate mail.” Of the five emails about it so far, two have been to tell me that I’m wrong to even listen to critics of the most popular therapy for autistic children — and the other three tell me I’m wrong for not condemning the treatment as the “obvious” abuse it is. If you read the article, you know I didn’t take a position on the issue, because I simply don’t know enough to have an opinion. But by talking about the issue, I stepped into a heated controversy. The emails from the two sides convinced me of nothing. But they did give me even more empathy for the unfortunate parents who have to figure out for themselves where the truth lies for their children.

Have you ever had what you thought was a new idea — and then discovered that “old you” had the same idea years ago? I had that experience tonight. And it’s been wonderful. I came up with an idea tonight for a very short satirical film that would be a promotion for a fictitious college. The point is to make the college promote — as good things — everything which is actually terrible about most modern colleges. Then I remembered a fake college that I invented back when I was in college. I had created student recruitment brochures and various newsletters back then, so I decided to call my “new” college by the same name I’d invented years ago: Ochita College. As I searched my computer for any old material I might still have about Ochita from the past, I discovered an email I sent to someone in 2009 — outlining essentially the same idea which I came up with tonight. Since I didn’t remember writing that, it felt like magic. So my next film project just might be this one instead. If all goes well, you might soon see “Ochita College: Your Future Starts Here.” This should be fun.

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