Odd interest in UK’s royal family suggests remnant of need for ruler

By David McElroy · July 23, 2013

There’s a new royal baby. Have you heard? (It’s a prince, by the way.) Your reaction to this news probably puts you into one of two camps.

Those in one camp find it strangely fascinating and they’re eager to hear more about it. Those in the other camp not only couldn’t care less, but are actively irritated by the event being treated as noteworthy. Count me among the second group.

It’s easy to make fun of interest in the royal family. I’ve done my share of it in the past and I’ve been seeing a lot of it again lately because of the birth of this child. But something hit me Monday that’s making me think about it in a new way. I’m not certain I’m right, but I suspect there’s truth to it.

Lurking inside almost everyone is a desire for someone to tell us what to do and take care of us. Consciously or not, most people have a deep need for someone to be “in charge.” I suspect that interest in royalty of any kind is a remnant of a desire that’s played itself out for hundreds or thousands of generations of our ancestors.

Very few people who have interest in the royal family would say it’s from a desire to be ruled. Those I know who follow the royals and find kings, queens, princes and princesses fascinating — and you know who you are — say it’s just because they enjoy the glamour and the fantasy of what they associate with royalty. Blame it on fairy tales or on envy, but some people can’t get enough of it.

I suspect there’s something comforting and glamorous about royalty to some people because it evokes — on an unconscious level — the feeling that there’s someone “above” us, which in turn provides a feeling that there’s stability and meaning in the world. I suspect it lets people feel that there’s some up “up there” who’s really “in charge” in some way.

People have always demanded someone to rule over them, even it wasn’t required. The Hebrews of the Old Testament demanded that the prophet Samuel give them a king, even though they were doing fine without royalty to rule over them. Samuel warned them about the dangers of having a king, but the people wanted one anyway. People today still want a king. They just call him a president these days.

I remember the first time I tried to explain libertarian ideas to my father. I went into great detail about the moral and pragmatic reasons why things should be different, but he couldn’t listen. I’ll never forget that all he could say was, “But … but … but … someone has to be in charge.”

I think most people have a latent desire for someone to be in charge. Paying attention to the royals is just a nice, safe way of indulging in the unconscious desire for someone to be in command. It’s not that the people fascinated with the royal family are closest monarchists. But I do think this explains the fascination. And it explains the reason why even some western democracies have been unable to ditch the expense and foolishness of a royal family.

Having a royal family without real power lets people have the fantasy that someone’s in charge, even as they more rational side understands that power comes from somewhere else. For those in countries without royalty, I think it’s a safe way for some people to indulge in the fantasy without having to understand or accept what it means.

Maybe I’m wrong. If you’re a fan of royalty, you probably think so. But I suspect I’m right. Why else would anyone possibly care about a random baby born to random people in London who we’ve never met? I can’t think of any rational explanation.

Whether I’m right about this or not — and I’m not sure how to test the idea — I’m sure that royalty of various countries holds no interest for me. As somebody said online Monday afternoon, “We fought for independence so we wouldn’t have to care about the royal baby.”

Yes, it’s snarky and silly, but some of us are happy to be free of all vestiges of rulers over us.

For what it’s worth, though, the new baby prince was said to be about 8 pounds, which is about 12 U.S. dollars. And that’s all this baby is for me — a punchline to a bad joke.

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Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

It hasn’t happened yet, but there’s a possibility that I might be taking in a fourth feline. A couple of months ago, a cat-loving neighbor asked whether I’d seen a “tuxedo cat” hanging out in the neighborhood. I hadn’t, but this guy eventually wandered past my house a few weeks later — and we haven’t been able to find evidence that he has a home. I’ve been giving him water and food for the last week and he finally let me pet him two nights ago. He’s purred for me two nights in a row and he let me take a low-quality selfie with him Thursday night. Tonight, though, he let me pick him up and bring him inside to look around. This went surprisingly well, as you can see from this photo. I don’t know whether he’ll be joining the family, but I’m certain that Alex, Oliver and Sam would vote no, at least until they get to know him. I’m trying to make certain he doesn’t have a home, but if he does join us, what do you suppose his name will be?

It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

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