Forgiveness has more power than political agenda in hateful tragedy

By David McElroy · June 19, 2015

The murders of nine people at a Charleston, S.C., church this week were a tragedy, but I’m just as appalled by the reaction to the shootings as I am by the murders themselves.

Nine peaceful human beings were worshipping and praying at Emanuel A.M.E Church in Charleston. They were joined by a young man named Dylann Storm Roof, who sat among them for some time before pulling out a gun and murdering almost all of them. This story would already be a horrendous tragedy, but it’s been turned intensely political by the fact that the victims were black and the murderer is a white man who hates black people.

Nobody on any political side has anything to say that would solve the problem of racial hatred or bring back the dead victims, but that hasn’t stopped people from trying to prove themselves right by turning this into an excuse to push their existing political agendas.

I’ve seen some conservatives try to turn this into an argument in favor of having more people armed. Those people say that if the victims had armed themselves at their prayer meeting, someone would have pulled out a gun and shot Roof. I’ve also seen some conservatives who say that racism wasn’t an issue in the shootings, despite the fact that the murderer has made it very clear he hates black people and wants to start a race war.

I’ve seen some progressives try to turn this into a debate over the Confederate battle flag. Those people apparently believe that if that old symbol of the South didn’t exist, there wouldn’t be racists and the murders wouldn’t have happened. I’ve seen others — including both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton — use the murders as an excuse to push their existing anti-gun agenda, apparently forgetting that those who want to murder people doesn’t necessarily need guns.

I don’t have a way to stop people from hating each other. I can’t prove it, but I suspect the tendency to hate is built into the DNA of what makes us human. If we were suddenly all one race and one religion, hateful people would find some other basis upon which to hate each other. Eye color? Attached or unattached ear lobe? Height? Hair color? I don’t know what they would choose, but there will always be something.

“Our” group will always be somehow better than “their” group in the minds of many people.

Racism is a horrible thing, even if we can’t necessarily agree what racism is. Some people claim that for something to be racist, it has to involve a majority group somehow abusing a minority group. I find that to be dishonest and politically motivated. Broadly speaking, racism is any way in which a person treats another person negatively because of differences in race.

I’ve known hateful white racists, but I’ve known just as many hateful black racists, especially when I worked in politics.

The fact that racism and other forms of hatred will probably always be with us doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work to deal with it, but when we find ourselves using other people’s tragedies to push our existing political agendas, we’re not trying to solve a problem. We’re simply applying our own political narratives to new situations. We’re try to prove we were right all along and that others should now agree with us. (And I’ve certainly been guilty of that at times.)

We have a serious problem with hatred in this world, but it’s not limited to race. I can’t say how to change the hate, but I know that love and forgiveness have something to do with it. I doubt anybody’s existing political agenda has anything to do with it.

The only people who have impressed me in this mess have been some of the families of the victims. When the murderer appeared in court Friday, some of the relatives of victims were allowed to speak.

“I forgive you,” said Nadine Collier, daughter of murder victim Ethel Lance. “You took something very precious away from me. I will never get to talk to her ever again. I will never be able to hold her again, but I forgive you, and have mercy on your soul. … You hurt me. You hurt a lot of people. If God forgives you, I forgive you.”

Their willingness to forgive reminded me of the man who spoke out to forgive the murderer who shot up a theater in Aurora, Colo., three years ago. From his hospital bed, this man forgave James Holmes for putting three bullets into him.

Forgiving people doesn’t mean not holding them accountable for their actions. It doesn’t mean not stopping them from continuing to hurt people. Roof will pay a heavy price for his murders — and I doubt any among the victims’ families would object to that. Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean you allow him to continue hurting you or others.

The murders in Charleston were committed by a racist man who I believe has mental issues. (I think mental issues are far more pervasive among humans — to one extent or another — than most want to admit.) Those murders were a horrible personal tragedy for the families and friends of the victims. They’re also a terrible national tragedy.

But using the murders as an excuse to push your political agenda oversimplifies a complex issue. I don’t have a solution to racism and I don’t have a way to make the world a safe place for everyone, but I’m appalled that so many people want to turn every tragedy into a partisan political platform.

My heart hurts for the families and friends of the victims of these murders.

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On a live awards show Sunday night, one man made a joke about a female celebrity. The husband of the celebrity was offended and hit the man who made the joke. Or maybe it was staged for entertainment. Who knows? Who cares? Social media is full of discussion — and even arguments — about this idiocy today. This baffles me. Let’s assume for a moment that the event happened as reported. People have been having such idiotic fights ever since there have been humans. Half the bars in the world see such brief dustups regularly. It simply doesn’t matter. The fact that so many people believe they need to talk about this — or even need to have opinions about it — is more evidence of the bizarre media brainwashing that convinces many to care passionately about brain-dead trivia. Your life will be happier and saner if you focus on yourself, your family and your friends, not on whatever scripted (or spontaneous) bilge that the media wants to pipe into your home.

I’m in the middle of migrating this website to new servers this week. This means you might encounter some unexpected behavior until I get all the bugs worked out. Clicking on my links (including this one) might cause your browser to give you the message that it’s a site without a current security certificate. It’s not actually unsafe, but there’s something which isn’t yet set up for the security certificate. I apologize for any such errors you might encounter while the process is going on. If you notice any problems with content which didn’t migrate properly, I would appreciate you letting me know the details at davidmcelroy@mac.com. Thanks for your patience.

I often wonder what animals think when they look at us and consider the society we’ve created. Yes, I know this is fanciful and unrealistic, but what if they could? Would they be astounded at how we treat each other? Would they be disgusted by the ugliness and pettiness which fill so many of our daily interactions? The truth is that I’m feeling pretty disgusted with humanity tonight. I made the mistake of reading some online interactions that I should have avoided — and it sickened me. The people involved appeared to be vile and stupid and arrogant. I wish I could pretend they’re a tiny minority, but I know better. It’s times such as this when I most need to escape much of “civilization” and disconnect from their world. If humans are going to be worthy of “ruling this planet,” we have a lot of growth to do. And I fear that growth is nowhere in sight. So my buddy Thomas, above, and all of his friends would be right to judge us harshly — and to think, “Why do you folks get to be in charge?”

I should have expected this, but I honestly didn’t. The article I wrote last week about disagreements over treatment for autistic children brought me angry emails. You could almost call it “hate mail.” Of the five emails about it so far, two have been to tell me that I’m wrong to even listen to critics of the most popular therapy for autistic children — and the other three tell me I’m wrong for not condemning the treatment as the “obvious” abuse it is. If you read the article, you know I didn’t take a position on the issue, because I simply don’t know enough to have an opinion. But by talking about the issue, I stepped into a heated controversy. The emails from the two sides convinced me of nothing. But they did give me even more empathy for the unfortunate parents who have to figure out for themselves where the truth lies for their children.

Have you ever had what you thought was a new idea — and then discovered that “old you” had the same idea years ago? I had that experience tonight. And it’s been wonderful. I came up with an idea tonight for a very short satirical film that would be a promotion for a fictitious college. The point is to make the college promote — as good things — everything which is actually terrible about most modern colleges. Then I remembered a fake college that I invented back when I was in college. I had created student recruitment brochures and various newsletters back then, so I decided to call my “new” college by the same name I’d invented years ago: Ochita College. As I searched my computer for any old material I might still have about Ochita from the past, I discovered an email I sent to someone in 2009 — outlining essentially the same idea which I came up with tonight. Since I didn’t remember writing that, it felt like magic. So my next film project just might be this one instead. If all goes well, you might soon see “Ochita College: Your Future Starts Here.” This should be fun.

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