Larry was 17 years old in 1974. He had lied about his age to get his first job, working at a steel fabrication shop. As he approached his 18th birthday, he had been working for nearly six months. Getting a loan to buy an inexpensive used car changed his life.
Race relations weren’t great between blacks and whites in Birmingham in 1974. Larry had started his education in all-black schools and then been part of integration, something that had been very controversial and at times confrontational. It was a time and place when many black people and many white people were suspicious of one another.
Larry’s attitude toward white people was guarded and suspicious. Who can blame him for feeling that way? He knew that many white people around him didn’t want him as part of their society. His attitudes hardened because of small battles, too. When he was in high school, the principal told him he had to shave off his afro or leave the school — so he transferred to a vocational school rather than comply.
By the time Larry had that first job, he was wondering whether a young black man could get a break from a society that had been dominated by racist white men. And then he needed to buy a car.
He found a used car for $500 at a small car lot. He needed a loan but he hadn’t been working long enough to have the money or established credit. Still, he went to a small local bank in the community where he had grown up and asked to speak to the manager.
Larry told the manager that he wanted to buy a car and that he had a job, but he confessed that he didn’t have any credit history.
“Who are your folks?” the manager asked him.
Larry told him who his family were and the manager nodded.
“If you’re anything like your daddy, you can have whatever you ask for,” the manager said. “How much do you need?”
Larry told him he needed $500 for the car he had picked out.
“Go over to that teller down there and tell her to look over at me,” the manager said. “I’ll let her know it’s OK to give her what you ask for. Go on and buy your car. Then come back tomorrow and we’ll do the paperwork.”
Larry was stunned. He hurried over to the teller and the woman gave him the $500 he asked her for — after she looked over to the manager and he nodded. And Larry got his first car that day.
That bank manager changed something for Larry. For the first time, a white man in authority had treated him respectfully — like a responsible adult. To the manager, Larry wasn’t a scary young black teen. Instead, the manager saw Larry as a good future customer, because he trusted Larry’s father.
“That was the first time I really saw that if I did things right and kept my word, I had a chance of being accepted and trusted as part of society,” Larry told me Friday afternoon. “I don’t know how much it really changed my life, but I do know that him treating me with respect and trusting me — all because of my dad — made me feel completely different.
“It was the first time I remember feeling like an important white man treated me like an equal. I never forgot that feeling.”
Larry spent 24 years at the metal fabrication shop. His experience with the bank manager helped him decide there was a chance he could be treated fairly if he did his work well and had a good attitude. Whatever he did worked, because he got multiple promotions along the way and ended up managing a couple dozen men — and his race never made a difference for him at his job, as far as he can tell.
As Larry told me his story, I couldn’t help but think that much of what’s wrong between racial groups, political groups and social groups could be made far better if individuals simply unilaterally decided to treat each other with dignity and respect in every little interaction.
If you do this, it won’t fix everything. There are plenty of bad feelings, bad attitudes and bad beliefs — on all sides. That won’t go away anytime soon.
But in the same way Larry still remembers the way he was treated 42 years ago, you have the chance today to soften someone’s attitude toward those who look or act like you.
You can’t change the world, but treating strangers who don’t like or act like you with respect is another step down the long path of changing yourself.