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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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Your words of kindness can show love to strangers struggling in life

By David McElroy · February 1, 2017

I was about to leave Chick-fil-A Wednesday evening when I noticed a young woman come in who looked exhausted — as though she had been battling monsters all day.

She was tall and slim, with straight black hair and dark brown skin. She wore black pants and a tailored solid blue shirt that fit her frame tastefully.

Even though she seemed tired, she looked graceful and elegant. She looked lovely. We met one another near the door and spoke politely as we passed.

Then as she stood at the counter waiting for someone to take her order, I quickly went over and spoke.

“You look fantastic, by the way,” I said. “That combination looks great on you.”

She seemed mildly surprised and then she smiled weakly.

“Thanks.”

I turned to leave and I thought we were finished. I didn’t have any ulterior motive in complimenting her. I just thought she looked great and that she deserved to be told.

I walked outside.

I had just gotten to my car when I realized she had followed me out and was hurrying to catch up with me.

“I just wanted you to you how much I appreciated you saying that,” she said. “I’ve had a really rough day and you made me feel good about myself. I needed that. Thank you for taking the time to say it.”

We shook hands and said our goodbyes.

She went back inside to order and I drove away smiling to have had a positive effect on the life of a random human being.

I found myself remembering an alleged Mark Twain quote on the subject. Twain allegedly wrote, “I can last two months on a good compliment.”

A sincere compliment can lift my spirits and change my outlook on the world, at least briefly. A compliment can make my heart feel full and make my spirit soar. I hate caring what others think, but their compliments can mean a lot to me when I believe they’re sincere.

Almost all of us have a strong need to be appreciated — and we’re usually too busy thinking about ourselves to tell others the genuinely good things we think about them.

Even if we think good things, we’re typically afraid to be vulnerable enough to walk up to a stranger and deliver a sincere compliment, because we know it can easily be misinterpreted. But sometimes, it works, and those times make the risk worthwhile.

That little encounter left me feeling good, because I felt that I’d had a sincere, genuine exchange with a stranger. She needed something tiny from me, even though it cost me nothing to give it.

I live on a planet where I feel more like an alien than like one of the natives. It’s in those rare moments of connection with a human being when I feel as though I might belong here after all — and that feels good.

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Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night and was watching traffic through the distortion of the gently falling rain on my car window when I realized that the abstract view I had matched the way I was feeling tonight, so I turned it into a brief abstract video to match my mood.
Get ready for the next great animated Christmas cl Get ready for the next great animated Christmas classic, featuring singing and dancing and danger from Alex, Oliver and Sam. Coming soon to a theater near you. (The funniest part is that if I cared about this as anything more than a Christmas joke, it strikes me as something that could be profitable with the right story development and the right animators.)
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This is what it might look like if the cats and I This is what it might look like if the cats and I were cast in a Wes Anderson film.
This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT ha This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT has done for me. I asked it to create a movie poster showing what a movie poster would look like for a film starring me. I told it to use my previous writings (from my website) to come up with a title and subject matter. And this is what it came up with. I can’t stop laughing. Also, the software decided on its own to included Oliver. 😺
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From the CritterCam: Late Wednesday afternoon, Sam From the CritterCam: Late Wednesday afternoon, Sam and Alex have been napping together on the heated pad in the office.
This is the latest of the ridiculous parody shorts This is the latest of the ridiculous parody shorts that I’ve been making to use on my YouTube channel.
A neighbor two doors down from us has been having A neighbor two doors down from us has been having a new fence installed — and it’s driving Sam crazy that he doesn’t have a good view of the work. He can see enough of the workers and equipment to know something’s going on, but not enough to really keep an eye on things. He prefers it when neighborhood activity is right across the street — so he’ll have a front-row seat.
It’s 5:30 a.m. and Alex seems annoyed that I still It’s 5:30 a.m. and Alex seems annoyed that I still haven’t turned the lights off in the office so he can sleep in peace. It’s mostly dark in here — as you can see from his huge pupils — but he’s ready for some darkness and some serious sleep before sunrise gets here in another hour or so. He might just have to sleep all day to make up for my rudeness. 😺
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The sun has been up for a few minutes Monday morni The sun has been up for a few minutes Monday morning, but Alex sees no reason that should mean he has to be up, too.
Oliver had been sleeping in a bedroom chair when A Oliver had been sleeping in a bedroom chair when Alex climbed up there to ask for some grooming. After a few minutes of mutual grooming, they’re now asleep together.
Alex is trying to wake up Sunday evening, but as h Alex is trying to wake up Sunday evening, but as he looks around at the office, he’s not sure whether it’s worth it.
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We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

A child having a tantrum understands only one thing: Did I get my way or not? He doesn’t understand the issues involved. He doesn’t understand the reasons that went into a decision. He doesn’t understand any of the things that mature and reasonable adults have to understand in order to live healthy lives. By his reaction to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to strike down his disastrous tariff scheme, Donald Trump shows himself to be — once more — a screaming child having a tantrum. Outside the world of mob bosses who expect to get their way every time, normal adults don’t act this way, but Trump isn’t normal. He’s an angry and vengeful man who has narcissistic personality disorder. And we are in danger as a result. Trump doesn’t understand the legal issues involved in this ruling. He doesn’t understand economics. He doesn’t understand rule of law. He doesn’t understand that he can ever be wrong. All he understands is that he didn’t get his way. And he is now a narcissistic and raging little boy who also happens to hold life-and-death power over most humans on this planet. He’s dangerous — and the system which gives him that power is even more dangerous.

Is it an attempt to blur the gender line between men and women? Or is it some weird tribute to the traditional Scottish kilt? It’s hard to say, but fashion designers keep pushing for men to wear skirts in the last few years. Both men and women in modern fashion seem oddly androgynous, as though it would be offensive for a man to look manly or for a woman to look feminine. A CNN article about the latest fashions from Paris caught my attention Monday and left me wondering about the ugly clothes the designers are hawking. If a man wants to wear a skirt — or a kilt — that’s OK with me, but I’ll stick with a traditional dark suit with a white shirt and tie. (Well, when I’m not wearing t-shirts and sweats, of course.) I always wonder who actually buys the outlandish garb from fashion designers anyway. I would be humiliated to be seen in any of this stuff, but I obviously have no sense of high fashion.

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