• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to secondary sidebar

David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

  • About David
  • New here?
  • Reading
  • Video

There are times we need to quit; what do you need to quit today?

By David McElroy · April 19, 2018

I used to be a really good quitter.

I don’t mean that in a negative way. I just mean that I always knew when to walk away from something that was no longer right for me.

When I was 21 years old, I was made managing editor of a small daily newspaper. Although I soon turned 22, I was still the youngest managing editor of a daily paper in the country at the time. (My technical skills were fantastic, but I was a terrible manager. I didn’t have a clue how to manage people at that age.)

I had been offered a full-time job as managing editor of a weekly newspaper at the end of my junior year at the University of Alabama. I first turned it down, but then I became intrigued. I took the job, thinking I’d spend a year getting experience and then I’d go back to school. But after about eight months at the weekly, I was promoted to sports editor of the daily owned by the same company. Just four months later, I was promoted again — to managing editor of the daily.

After nearly a year in that job, I started feeling that it was time to move on. One Sunday morning, I was driving to church when I realized it was time to quit.

I didn’t go to church that day. I went to Waffle House by myself and ate a late breakfast while I thought seriously about the change. I knew classes started for the new semester at Alabama in the next couple of days. I spent all day considering my options.

On Monday morning, I walked into my publisher’s office and told him it was time for me to quit. I told him classes started this week and I really wanted to leave immediately if he could get by without me. With his blessing, I didn’t even work that day. I drove to Tuscaloosa, found a place to live and registered for classes. I knew I’d done the right thing.

I used to be really good at starting things and really good at quitting them when it was time.

When I was a teen-ager, I did audacious things which I should have known better than to do. But nobody told me those things were impossible, so I did them anyway. And then when it was time, I would walk away from that adventure — ready to try the next.

I’m thinking about this tonight because of an interview I heard this evening with Bob Goff. On a business podcast called Building a Storybrand, Goff talked about his unusual life as a lawyer, humanitarian, businessman and diplomat. (Listen to the episode here.)

Goff talked about his unusual approach to his law firm and to hiring people. He talked about an idea which I had years ago for a newspaper I was planning to start. I never knew anyone had actually done it in real life. Goff said he never committed to giving anybody a job for longer than a year. In fact, he didn’t even commit himself to keeping the company open. Every year, he could start over — and offer another year to the people he still wanted to work with.

One day, Goff went to his office and decided it was time to quit practicing law. He didn’t waste time. He just gathered everybody together and said things were over. The details were vague — because that wasn’t the point of the story — but it appears he just gave the firm to someone else and walked away. He calls it “planned spontaneity.”

There are things I need to quit right now, but I let fear stop me.

Back when I used to be good at quitting, I wasn’t afraid of much. I had enough confidence — maybe arrogance — to believe I could handle anything that came up. I believed I would out-think and out-work anybody who got in my way. I expected the world to stand aside and watch as I conquered, so it never occurred to me not to try incredible things.

I’ve realized this evening that confidence about the next step is the key to quitting things we need to quit. Whatever it is that you need to quit, you’re holding onto that thing — something which is holding you back or making you miserable — because you’re scared about whether the uncertainty of the next step means you’re better off holding onto something lousy. So you hold onto a known bad thing to avoid the uncertainty of what might (or might not) be a better thing.

When I was managing editor of the small daily paper, I could have told myself that I wouldn’t ever get another chance like this. I could have told myself that people wouldn’t understand if I quit. (Many didn’t.) I could have worried about the consequences of moving on without an adequate plan.

When I drove to Tuscaloosa that day, I had no plan. But I soon had a place to live. I soon had a part-time job (as a youth minister at a church). And after another year of school, the same company offered me another job — as managing editor of another one of its small daily papers — and I was employed again on the day I left college for the last time.

I know some things which I need to quit — today, right now — but I haven’t quit because I’m afraid. What am I afraid of? I’m scared about the things I would need to start instead. And because I don’t allow myself to start the things which scare me, I continue to do things which make me unhappy instead.

I need to recover the confidence of my youth. I haven’t lost the abilities I had. I haven’t lost anything I had. There’s still somebody inside me who would go after Moby Dick in a rowboat — in complete confidence that I’d find a way to capture that great white whale.

I know a couple of things I need to quit. Right now. I just have to be willing to jump off a cliff — in full confidence that I’ll find a net before I hit the bottom.

What do you need to quit? You already know the answer, even if you try to lie to yourself.

Both of us need to quit some things — and move on to better things. We just have to find the courage to do what we already know is right.

Share on Social Networks

Related Posts

  • Her dad didn’t want to help her, so here’s a jack-o’-lantern for Hannah
  • Heart that truly loves is a servant for another’s happiness and peace
  • UPDATE: Major changes coming to this website in the next few months

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe

Enter your address to receive notifications by email every time new articles are posted. Then click “Subscribe.”

Contact David

David likes email, but can’t reply to every message. I get a surprisingly large number of requests for relationship advice — seriously — but time doesn’t permit a response to all of them. (Sorry.)

Search

Archives

Donations

If you enjoy this site and want to help, click here. All donations are appreciated, no matter how large or small. (PayPal often doesn’t identify donors, so I might not be able to thank you directly.)




Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

My Instagram

Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
Follow on Instagram

Critter Instagram

Just before midnight, Meg was relaxing peacefully Just before midnight, Meg was relaxing peacefully in my arms while lying on her back. If you look at the bottoms of her back legs, you can see the remaining traces of the dirt from her feral days. Even though I’ve washed her carefully, the stain is still there for the time being. I think she’s a happy girl to live inside the house — and she hasn’t been with us for quite a week yet.
This three-second clip is the only hissing we’ve h This three-second clip is the only hissing we’ve had today. Oliver just got a bit too curious for Meg’s preference, so when he tried to sniff her, she let him have her full wrath. (This is super short because it’s made from one of the iPhone’s “live photos,” which can be converted to video.)
About two months ago, I saw Meg for the first time About two months ago, I saw Meg for the first time from this office window at the front of our house. She was walking down the street you see here and I posted a picture of her that day. Just before sunset Sunday, she made it into that window for her very first time, but she has no idea that she was sitting in the spot from which I first saw her.
Late Saturday night, Alex and Meg spent a few minu Late Saturday night, Alex and Meg spent a few minutes cautiously eyeing each other from about three or four feet away. This is the closest any of the boys has voluntarily gotten to her and it’s the first time she hasn’t immediately backed off. So this was a major step in the right direction. They stayed like this for about five minutes and then Meg eventually scurried underneath the chair where I was sitting.
It’s hard to believe Meg had been here for only fo It’s hard to believe Meg had been here for only four days, because she constantly wants attention and acts as though she’s always been here. I just got back home and she immediately climbed into my lap and started purring. I think this little girl is happy to be here.
I told a friend last night that Meg had been “maki I told a friend last night that Meg had been “making biscuits,” but she didn’t know the phrase and asked what it meant. So I sent her this picture — before eventually explaining what it really means. 😺
With each passing day, Meg is relaxing more and be With each passing day, Meg is relaxing more and becoming more trusting. Just after midnight Thursday night, she’s relaxing in my arms and purring.
Meg wants to hang out on my chest and purr all eve Meg wants to hang out on my chest and purr all evening. I need to change clothes at some point.
When I got home, I took Meg into the office to bri When I got home, I took Meg into the office to briefly visit the other three cats. Alex had a big hiss for her when she got too close to him. There was a bit of hissing all around, but nothing that I didn’t expect. I’d say we’re right on track for what I’ve gone through many times before.
Follow on Instagram

Secondary Sidebar

Briefly

Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

It hasn’t happened yet, but there’s a possibility that I might be taking in a fourth feline. A couple of months ago, a cat-loving neighbor asked whether I’d seen a “tuxedo cat” hanging out in the neighborhood. I hadn’t, but this guy eventually wandered past my house a few weeks later — and we haven’t been able to find evidence that he has a home. I’ve been giving him water and food for the last week and he finally let me pet him two nights ago. He’s purred for me two nights in a row and he let me take a low-quality selfie with him Thursday night. Tonight, though, he let me pick him up and bring him inside to look around. This went surprisingly well, as you can see from this photo. I don’t know whether he’ll be joining the family, but I’m certain that Alex, Oliver and Sam would vote no, at least until they get to know him. I’m trying to make certain he doesn’t have a home, but if he does join us, what do you suppose his name will be?

It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

Read More

Crass Capitalism

Before you buy anything from Amazon, please click on this link. I’ll get a tiny commission, but it won’t cost you a nickel extra. The cats will thank you. And so will I.

© 2011–2026 · All Rights Reserved
Built by: 1955 DESIGN