Future reality starts in what we believe inside about who we are

By David McElroy · August 10, 2019

It was mid-afternoon Saturday. I was in the shower getting ready to go over to someone’s house on a social visit for the evening. The phone rang in the next room and my mind had an immediate thought.

“It’s probably her!” I thought.

I’ve had this experience over and over. When my phone rings, I think it’s her. When I hear that I have a new email, I think it’s from her. I even have the same thought — “Maybe it’s something she sent” — when there’s something unexpected in my mailbox.

This isn’t rational. I have no reason to expect to hear from her. But because something in me expects it — every single day — I can’t help believing that it’s about to come true.

For right or for wrong, I have strong images of who I am and what my future will be. What people see on the outside isn’t always what I see on the inside. Like the cat who stalks his prey believing he’s a lion, I see myself as a world conquerer.

Nobody around me knows this, of course. Nobody sees or hears the disappointment when it’s not her on the phone or when the email isn’t offering funding to make a film. But this hope — or faith or delusion or whatever you want to call it — is a key part of who I am.

At dinner tonight, we talked about all sorts of things. It was a good conversation, even if we disagreed about some key philosophical points about how to organize human society. But when the conversation turned to the films I want to make, something changed.

I wasn’t trying to sell someone on my ideas. I was simply outlining a future reality about what I am going to create. What I must create.

I don’t suppose I was especially realistic. I didn’t have a plan to propose. But I painted pictures of what something in me is driven to bring to life.

And that vision of what can be — even the parts which I couldn’t put into words — felt more real to me than anything around me at the moment.

Some people would tell me I should be “realistic” and accept whatever life happens to deal to me. They say that hardly anybody gets to follow his heart. They say that it’s good enough to settle for whatever love might be available. They say that everybody ought to just be thankful to be employed.

And maybe they’re right.

All I know is that my soul paints powerful pictures on the inside of my skull and then pulls me eagerly toward making them into reality.

And I can’t let go of those pictures. Even though part of me tries to squash the desires and the hopes and the faith that I’m heading toward creating those things, some stubborn part of me refuses to listen.

Have you ever really watched a cat when he’s stalking something? I’m not sure they understand that they can’t really conquer the dog or human or vacuum cleaner that they’re trying to take down.

But in their determined and confident minds, they are roaring lions seeking someone to devour. They are going to win whatever they want to win. That’s the way these pictures seem to me. Each one of them feels more real to me than three-dimensional reality does.

And that’s why I believe I’ll make that short film. That’s why I believe I’ll be wealthy. That’s why I believe I’ll make this other feature film.

And that’s why — when the phone rings next time — I’ll be sure it’s her. And one day it will be.

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What if your daughter were about to start kindergarten and you went to the affluent school where she was about to go and discovered that the school was teaching nonsense? That’s exactly what happened to an education consultant in Colorado who recently visited his daughter’s new school. Everybody was nice, but when the kindergarten teacher talked about their methods of teaching reading, he cringed. She was using “progressive” methods that were debunked decades ago. He’s learning that most schools use similar techniques that don’t work, simply because schools of education are committed to ideas and techniques based on ideology instead of cognitive science. So why do so many people entrust their children’s future to these well-meaning but incompetent people? It’s one of the most underreported scandals of modern learning. Read his summary of what he’s found here and then check out the radio documentary to which he refers where you can find out more.

I really enjoy political satire. You might remember that my first short film was political satire. But there’s a trend in political satire today which I find disturbing — and this graphic is a great example. This fake promotional ad for Fox News was placed on New York City subways recently. When I found it on social media, people who lean to the political left were smirking and enjoying this attack on their “stupid” opponents. But this isn’t satire. It’s just a mean-spirited attempt to say, “Those who agree with me are smarter than you idiots who watch Fox News.” It’s a smirking, nasty attack which makes no point other than to claim superiority over people for the sin of disagreeing. I absolutely loathe Fox News, but I also loathe CNN and MSNBC and all the other media outfits who pander to partisans and intentionally try to divide people. If you want to show that you’re a small-minded bigot who doesn’t understand his opponents, just pretend your enemies are all stupid and evil. They’re not. The truth is a lot more complicated. Ideas are ripe for satire, but that involves creative thinking, not just nasty personal attacks.

When I have a bad day, my first reaction is to want to turn to someone I love. But my next instinct is a paradox. If I can’t call someone and I can’t touch someone and I can’t be with someone who loves me, I have an overwhelming desire to be alone. Tuesday was an unpleasant day. I had to argue with my bank about something. (I won, but still.) Something happened at work that made me want to walk out and never return, although I understand that nobody else involved would understand. Tonight, someone on Facebook who I barely knew reacted badly to something I said — for reasons I’m completely baffled about — and called me a “jackass” and unfriended me. I’d like to talk with someone I love. I’d like to spend time with a loved one and feel safe and understood. But since I can’t do that, I crave the opposite. I want to find a cabin somewhere and disappear for a month. We humans are social creatures. We need each other. But there are days when others cause enough hurt that a few weeks of silence would be a relief. This has been one of those days.

Democracy is going to die — and it’s all because the human brain prefers easy answers to complex problems. You and I were born during the golden age of democracy. It was a period during which it was assumed that democracy was the natural evolution of civic governance. But Dr. Shawn W. Rosenberg is challenging that idea. He’s a leader in the study of political psychology and he says research convinces him that the human brain isn’t wired for self-rule and that democracy is heading toward collapse. In a paper presented this year to the International Society of Political Psychologists, Rosenberg argues that the human brain naturally favors simple answers to complex problems, which tends to favor the rise of authoritarian strongmen who offer confident and simplistic solutions. Anyone who’s paying attention sees this happening around the world already. Donald Trump isn’t the cause of the problem, but he is an early example of this outcome in action. All authoritarian rulers come to power offering simplistic solutions — just as Adolph Hitler did in Germany and Benito Mussolini did in Italy. I’ve argued for 20 years that this country is heading toward social and economic collapse and I’ve made the case that things are going to get ugly when that happens, at least for those who are not prepared. Many people will ignore this evidence, of course, because they have too much emotionally invested in the idea that democracy will prevail — but that is just another example of clinging to a simple answer to a very complex problem. Don’t be surprised when things get ugly.

Political candidates are liars. They can’t help it, because lying to voters is the only thing that gets them elected. They have to promise things which are not possible. I used to write political promises for my clients, so I know this very well. None of my successful clients ever did anything which I promised for them. Every day lately, I see new promises from presidential candidates. I know they’re lying about what they will do if elected — and I assume they know they’re lying, too. When a society changes, the change starts from culture — and that starts with the values which individuals hold. I hate many things about this society. I want a lot of changes. When I was young, I believed the way to change those things was by becoming a political leader. I know better today. We live like hamsters on a wheel or rats in a maze. Government can’t change that. Only we can make those changes for ourselves. The next time you hear a politician promising to change your life — your work life or your home life or your children’s future — remember that the person is lying. Don’t wait for politicians. Take the initiative and change your own life. Nobody else can do it for you.

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