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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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Do you want a company or do you just want to get something done?

By David McElroy · September 1, 2020

I’m never going to be a leader, at least not the kind the “leadership books” teach you to be. And I’m finally OK with that.

When I was still in my “empire-builder” stage of my 20s, I read every business book I could find. I studied the ideas of popular writers such as Peter Drucker, Tom Peters and W. Edwards Deming. There were many more. The books often seemed profound as I read them, but I slowly realized something.

The concepts and management tips in the books turned out to be useless in the small companies I managed. No matter how brilliant the concepts seemed — and no matter how well they worked for the people in the small companies described — my employees looked at me blankly when I tried the ideas.

This left me confused about myself. Was I just a terrible leader? Was I doing something wrong? If so, why did people in organizations naturally turn to me when work needed to be done?

I’m thinking about this old topic because of something I randomly remembered this week which happened when I was in college.

I was mostly studying journalism and political science at the University of Alabama, but I took a class in television production one semester. I had no interest in doing any work in film or television at the time, but I thought it might be fun. Maybe even useful one day.

The instructor was a man who had worked in both film production and television production. We were learning studio production, so what we were doing was more like live television than making a film. Every student was assigned a particular role for a production and this rotated. I might be running a studio camera for one production, then operating the sound board next, then maybe manning the switcher. Everybody got at least one turn at each role — and every student had to write and direct his or her own production.

Most of the student productions were predictably awful. Even the people who had decent ideas had trouble converting those ideas into anything that looked decent on screen. They had trouble giving orders — via headset — to the students who were operating the other dozen or so technical positions.

Most people simply couldn’t keep their minds clear enough about all that had to happen — and which orders to give to which operators at different times — so there tended to be horrible gaps or switching errors. The instructor tried to hide his frustration, but it was obvious as the weeks went on.

It was finally my turn to direct the piece I’d written. It was a satire about someone being fired as a television news anchor. I held a pre-production meeting with my cast and crew, then we started the live-on-tape performance. I firmly gave orders from the control room to the camera operators, actors, technical director and the people in the other technical roles.

The production wasn’t flawless, but it was very acceptable for something that hadn’t been rehearsed and which used students who barely knew what they were doing. As I went through my preparation and production, the instructor didn’t say a word. He just stood to the back of the room and left us alone.

After we were finished and I had called “clear,” everybody started moving to pack up equipment and then collect personal items and leave the studio. I was gathering my things, too, when the instructor called me over to the side of the room while everybody else was talking and getting ready to leave. He had a serious look on his face, so I wondered if I had done something wrong.

“You’re a natural director,” he said quietly, as though he didn’t want other students to hear what he was saying. “You understood exactly what that needed to look like and sound like, and you knew how to bring it all together. You knew how to give the commands to everybody else to do what you saw in your mind. They followed your commands quickly and easily. That’s a gift. I can teach people to operate any equipment, but I can’t teach what you intuitively knew how to do. Don’t forget that.”

My ego swelled, of course. I felt sky high. I felt special. But since I had no interest in film or television at the time, I didn’t think that much about it. Even now, though, I can still see the earnest look on his face as he praised something he saw in me as a rank amateur.

I hadn’t thought of this story for a long time. When it crossed my mind this week, I started thinking about times like this — times when people have followed me simply because I knew how to give the orders.

It was this way when I took informal control of a high school project that I told you about last year. It happened at a small daily newspaper where I was the youngest employee in the newsroom and was a terrible manager but an excellent editor. It’s happened other times.

But I was unsuccessful in building a company. What’s more, I now understand that I’ll never be any good at building companies. And I’ve found myself thinking — maybe for the first time consciously — that these are two entirely different skills.

I’m really good at getting things done. I might bruise some feelings. I might not be popular with everybody afterward. But the job will be done and it will be something we’ll be proud of.

I’m really bad at building organizations and setting long-term incentives and growing employees into their roles. I know all that is necessary. I just don’t want to do it. I have no interest in administration. I have no interest in doing all the necessary hard work that takes place between the high-pressure events on which I thrive.

This is why the newspapers where I worked as a general manager and as a publisher won awards for flashy things we did. It’s why we did beautiful big projects and impressed everybody every now and then, but nobody in upper management of my company cared.

I understand now that the company for which I was a publisher was a terrible fit for me. The upper management didn’t really care whether we did anything impressive. They didn’t care whether we won awards. They didn’t care that our readers loved us. All they cared about was administering the company on a daily basis and turning in reports to the regional accounting center.

They hired someone with a skillset that didn’t come close to matching what they thought was important. And I was slow to realize that. I just thought they were idiots.

I’ve known for a long time now that I will never be part of building a company unless I have the right partner — someone who likes and enjoys the parts that I hate. I used to see that as a weakness in myself. I used to think I was flawed in those ways.

Now it seems perfectly fine.

When I was young, I was trying to force myself to be something I wasn’t, because that’s what I thought a real business leader would be. I know now that’s not who I am. I understand it’s not what I’ll ever be.

I’m really good at some things. I’m really terrible at other things. Understanding the difference — and finding a way to stick with what I’m good at — is the key to me being happy and successful, instead of angry and miserable.

I admire the people who build organizations. I just don’t want to be one of them.

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I just remembered that I shot photos Friday evenin I just remembered that I shot photos Friday evening just before sunset. These two shots were only about a minute apart, just with different lenses. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
As far as I know, there were no nuclear devices se As far as I know, there were no nuclear devices set off anywhere near Birmingham this evening, but this cloud formation looked very much like a mushroom cloud rising in the west as I went through downtown Birmingham on I-65 around 6:30 tonight. #nature #naturephotography #sky #clouds #birmingham #alabama
For many years, I’ve believed that I could deliv For many years, I’ve believed that I could deliver some message worth sharing through audio or video if I just had the right platform. It’s always been an intuitive feeling, not a specific plan. And now that I have the technology in place to do a wide variety of media, that nasty old inner critic rears its head, asking whether I really have anything worthwhile to say. And as I sit here practicing, I still have no idea who’s right — my long-term intuition or my harsh inner critic.
Just after sunset Friday evening, there was quite Just after sunset Friday evening, there was quite a pastel light show in the sky to the west of me. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
This is the Thursday evening sunset that I just wa This is the Thursday evening sunset that I just watched behind a restaurant in Moody. It’s been raining all evening, but it cleared just enough for some colorful light to poke through the clouds. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I just realized that I had some other photos from I just realized that I had some other photos from Wednesday night’s sunset which I could have posted. I ended up posting an iPhone panorama, but this is what a section of that looked like with the Sony A7 IV instead. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
Just a minute before the sun slipped beneath the h Just a minute before the sun slipped beneath the horizon, the late-evening light was colorful and magical Thursday. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I didn’t have a lens wide enough to capture this I didn’t have a lens wide enough to capture this with my “real” camera, so this is just an iPhone panorama. It was beautiful to see in person. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I just heard that tonight’s moon is something ca I just heard that tonight’s moon is something called a “supermoon,” so I photographed it to see if I could see anything unusual, but it looked pretty much the same to me. What exactly is different about this one? Does anyone know? #nature #naturephotography #sky #moon #birmingham #alabama
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For “throwback Thursday, let me introduce you to For “throwback Thursday, let me introduce you to Sam. In 2009, I took in a young feral cat who I named for the early American revolutionary Samuel Adams. He was one of the most confident — downright arrogant, in fact — cats I’ve ever been around. He had an amazing personality and I immediately loved him. He was no more than 8 or 9 months old when he suddenly died for reasons that my vet couldn’t explain. Even though I had him only a short time, he was one of my all-time favorites. #tbt #cats #tabby #feral #birmingham #alabama
I’ve never been as curious about what a cat migh I’ve never been as curious about what a cat might be thinking as I constantly am about Merlin. As I watch him sitting here on the edge of my desk late Wednesday night, I can’t help but conclude he’s a very deep thinker. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2024 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
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Thomas believes that he is the Most Interesting Ca Thomas believes that he is the Most Interesting Cat in the World — and I can’t say he’s wrong tonight. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
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Lucy just finished a Neighborhood Watch patrol and Lucy just finished a Neighborhood Watch patrol and now she’s cooling off in the back yard before heading inside for dinner. Her work is never done. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Except when he’s asleep, Thomas always looks as Except when he’s asleep, Thomas always looks as though he’s on high alert and ready to run away from danger. His feral early years still dominate his internal programming. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Lucy just finished her last walk of the day, but s Lucy just finished her last walk of the day, but she still wants more attention. She’s sitting in front of me looking expectantly. She seems certain that we will go outside for one more adventure if she’s persistent enough. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
My favorite photos of Merlin tend to be those — My favorite photos of Merlin tend to be those — such as this one — in which he seems to be contemplating difficult issues. Feline philosophy or quantum physics or something else that he figures I wouldn’t understand. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2024 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturday
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On a live awards show Sunday night, one man made a joke about a female celebrity. The husband of the celebrity was offended and hit the man who made the joke. Or maybe it was staged for entertainment. Who knows? Who cares? Social media is full of discussion — and even arguments — about this idiocy today. This baffles me. Let’s assume for a moment that the event happened as reported. People have been having such idiotic fights ever since there have been humans. Half the bars in the world see such brief dustups regularly. It simply doesn’t matter. The fact that so many people believe they need to talk about this — or even need to have opinions about it — is more evidence of the bizarre media brainwashing that convinces many to care passionately about brain-dead trivia. Your life will be happier and saner if you focus on yourself, your family and your friends, not on whatever scripted (or spontaneous) bilge that the media wants to pipe into your home.

I’m in the middle of migrating this website to new servers this week. This means you might encounter some unexpected behavior until I get all the bugs worked out. Clicking on my links (including this one) might cause your browser to give you the message that it’s a site without a current security certificate. It’s not actually unsafe, but there’s something which isn’t yet set up for the security certificate. I apologize for any such errors you might encounter while the process is going on. If you notice any problems with content which didn’t migrate properly, I would appreciate you letting me know the details at davidmcelroy@mac.com. Thanks for your patience.

I often wonder what animals think when they look at us and consider the society we’ve created. Yes, I know this is fanciful and unrealistic, but what if they could? Would they be astounded at how we treat each other? Would they be disgusted by the ugliness and pettiness which fill so many of our daily interactions? The truth is that I’m feeling pretty disgusted with humanity tonight. I made the mistake of reading some online interactions that I should have avoided — and it sickened me. The people involved appeared to be vile and stupid and arrogant. I wish I could pretend they’re a tiny minority, but I know better. It’s times such as this when I most need to escape much of “civilization” and disconnect from their world. If humans are going to be worthy of “ruling this planet,” we have a lot of growth to do. And I fear that growth is nowhere in sight. So my buddy Thomas, above, and all of his friends would be right to judge us harshly — and to think, “Why do you folks get to be in charge?”

I should have expected this, but I honestly didn’t. The article I wrote last week about disagreements over treatment for autistic children brought me angry emails. You could almost call it “hate mail.” Of the five emails about it so far, two have been to tell me that I’m wrong to even listen to critics of the most popular therapy for autistic children — and the other three tell me I’m wrong for not condemning the treatment as the “obvious” abuse it is. If you read the article, you know I didn’t take a position on the issue, because I simply don’t know enough to have an opinion. But by talking about the issue, I stepped into a heated controversy. The emails from the two sides convinced me of nothing. But they did give me even more empathy for the unfortunate parents who have to figure out for themselves where the truth lies for their children.

Have you ever had what you thought was a new idea — and then discovered that “old you” had the same idea years ago? I had that experience tonight. And it’s been wonderful. I came up with an idea tonight for a very short satirical film that would be a promotion for a fictitious college. The point is to make the college promote — as good things — everything which is actually terrible about most modern colleges. Then I remembered a fake college that I invented back when I was in college. I had created student recruitment brochures and various newsletters back then, so I decided to call my “new” college by the same name I’d invented years ago: Ochita College. As I searched my computer for any old material I might still have about Ochita from the past, I discovered an email I sent to someone in 2009 — outlining essentially the same idea which I came up with tonight. Since I didn’t remember writing that, it felt like magic. So my next film project just might be this one instead. If all goes well, you might soon see “Ochita College: Your Future Starts Here.” This should be fun.

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