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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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Hidden chains need to be broken, so I’ve become a reluctant rebel

By David McElroy · November 26, 2020

I never wanted to be a rebel. I didn’t want to oppose the established order of my culture. In fact, I was raised to be a conformist.

My teachers taught me the same myths which you probably learned as a child. My country was great. Our leaders were wise. Right would prevail, because my culture stood for all that was good in the world.

Preachers and parents taught me to obey authority. They taught me to obey the rules I was given. I wasn’t taught to think for myself. I was taught to obey without question. I was trained to be a cog in a very large and well-oiled machine — one which would bring me happiness and prosperity one day.

I was happy with that picture. The world made sense to me. I had my place as a part of that culture. I would be a leader and I would one day do great things to help build the society which I had been taught to love.

But an honest man can’t close his eyes to what he’s seen. Even though it’s not convenient for me, I’ve become a rebel against a culture which binds us with hidden chains and which is leading most of us to spiritual death.

I’m a rebel against what modern culture has become, but I’m a reluctant rebel. It would be so much easier if I could go back to believing what I once believed. There would be less to struggle against if I could just be a part of that great society which I once believed I was joining.

Holidays such as Thanksgiving leave me thinking about the idealistic myths which I once believed so completely. There’s nothing wrong with Thanksgiving — either in concept or in practice — but such holidays represent what I had believed the world would be.

Days such as this still represent what I want my world to be.

I still want holidays that center around the values which I once believed my culture represented. I want them to be about family and love and good will to others.

I don’t want such days to represent consumption and angry competition and unhappiness. I don’t want them to be about hiding from unpleasant truths and even hiding from the lies on which we’ve built our lives. I don’t want them to be about squabbling relatives or hateful political arguments.

It’s impossible to live a “normal” American life and have what I want — because the culture we have built for ourselves leads inevitably to the lies and unhappiness and over-consumption which characterizes our holidays. And our entire culture.

When I first realized something was wrong in our culture, I thought we could just fix things at the edges. I thought we could reform the society by returning to what I thought the country was intended to be. But I slowly realized that even that was mistaken, because I was still relying on the dishonest old myths about what we were from the start.

I finally realized the problems were all the way at the core of what the culture is based on — and the more I studied it, the more I realized that things are getting much worse, not better.

I’ve talked with you repeatedly about rejecting Postmodern ideas and going back to the foundations of the Enlightenment. We have to go back that far to find the concepts on which a sane and moral culture can thrive in peace. You won’t find it in the dehumanization of Modernism, but you also won’t find it in the nihilistic reaction to Modernism which is Postmodernism.

Living a life which is sane and emotionally healthy by my standards has slowly become “radical” by this culture’s standards. To step back from the conformity and collectivism and nihilism demanded by this culture is now considered weird and radical.

Once you understand that — and if you want a life of meaning and love — you don’t have any choice but to become a rebel against the ugliness of what this culture has become.

I still want what I once believed my society to be. I want a culture that’s built on family and love and decency and honor. I desperately want those things — and I want to live with people who value those things as much as I do.

We can’t change this dying culture. Most people will continue to live in lies and unhappiness and nihilism. We can’t stop them.

But we can do something different. At least for ourselves.

I want to talk some more about that — about what it might look like and what it might mean — but for now, just accept that there’s an alternative.

You don’t have to live by the standards of this dying culture. You don’t have to accept screwed-up values. You don’t have to be so miserable. You don’t have to accept your children growing up to be like their peers and learning to be nihilistic consumers. If you ever see the hidden chains that bind you to all that, you won’t be able to pretend they’re not there.

The good news is that you can change all that. At least for yourself. But you have to join me. You have to become a rebel, too. You have no idea how much change we can create together.

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Some of you might be aware that my dog Lucy died o Some of you might be aware that my dog Lucy died of cancer last weekend. As I’ve been grieving the loss of this beautiful and loving girl, I put together a one-minute compilation of short videos of Lucy from her first two or three weeks with me in early 2016. She was several years old at the time, but living with me provided her first stable home. She was unsure of herself at first, but she quickly developed confidence as she discovered how much she was loved. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Tonight’s moon is apparently something called a be Tonight’s moon is apparently something called a beaver supermoon. I noticed as I was getting home from work that it was a bright yellowish-orange, so I snapped this a couple of miles from home. It’s not a great photo, but I was pretty happy with it for an iPhone shot on the side of the road. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama #iphone17pro
I’m heartbroken to tell you that I lost Lucy early I’m heartbroken to tell you that I lost Lucy early Sunday morning. The World’s Happiest Dog lived with me for 10 years, but I can’t say for sure how old she was when she came to live with me. I’ve written a brief article on my website about Lucy and what she meant to me, which you’ll find as the most recent article at davidmcelroy.org if you would be interested. (There’s a clickable link on my profile.) Like every good dog, she was “the goodest dog.” I love her dearly and I’m going to miss her fiercely. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
There’s been a lot of controversy over Bad Bunny p There’s been a lot of controversy over Bad Bunny performing at the Super Bowl, so I suggest a response. I’ll put together a novelty act called Funny Bunny and the G-Men. Here’s what the costumes look like. (And the animated version doesn’t even need costumes.) Funny Bunny does satirical political songs while the G-Men chase him around. With the right humorous songs, this could be comedy gold. Who wants to write songs? 😃
This was the view on my left this evening as I dro This was the view on my left this evening as I drove home from work. This was on I-459 near the Cahaba River bridge. (I didn’t have my “real” camera in the car, so this is an iPhone photo.) #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I have always accepted as obvious the fact that yo I have always accepted as obvious the fact that you couldn’t take a halfway decent photo of the moon with a smartphone. (I don’t count the cheat that Samsung uses in some models to artificially create bits that don’t exist in the optical image.) But a friend shot a picture of the moon with her new iPhone 17 night or two ago, I so snapped one frame as I got out of the car just now. The resolution and detail aren’t great, but this is better than I expected. #nature #naturephotography #sky #moon #birmingham #alabama #iphone17pro
I hope this rainbow over I-459 on my way home is a I hope this rainbow over I-459 on my way home is a good omen for the weekend. 😃
I’m very happy to report that my promotion to star I’m very happy to report that my promotion to starship captain has finally come through, so I’ll be leaving Earth and heading to the stars very soon — just as soon as Starfleet has some uniforms in stock that fit chubby guys like me. Anybody else want to sign up and leave the planet with me. 🖖🏻#startrek
Here’s the sunset that caught my attention on my d Here’s the sunset that caught my attention on my drive home just a few minutes ago. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
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Alex is slowly going to sleep just before midnight Alex is slowly going to sleep just before midnight as he lies on his back — with his paws up in the air — as he relaxes on my arm. He’s been purring the whole time. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Late Monday night, Alex seems to be reveling in hi Late Monday night, Alex seems to be reveling in his mouse-hunting skills. He’s pretty sure he could take over if my own hunting skills fail us. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
As soon as I got back home just now and sat down, As soon as I got back home just now and sat down, Oliver jumped up into my lap to demand attention. It’s a good thing I’m not delusional enough to believe I’m in charge around here. 😺 #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Alex caught and killed a mouse tonight, which mean Alex caught and killed a mouse tonight, which means he’s acting like a king who’s defended his kingdom now. We’ve never had a mouse problem in this house, but this is about the third this year. I just bought a trap that I need to put out. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
As I left the house for the afternoon, Oliver was As I left the house for the afternoon, Oliver was busy in an office window keeping track of something in the air outside the house. Of course, if there’s any real danger, they’ll all just hide. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
I just told Alex that we need to get to sleep at a I just told Alex that we need to get to sleep at a decent time tonight, because I have a lot to get done Monday morning. He doesn’t have any objection to going to sleep soon, but he does have a great objection to getting up in the morning and getting any work done. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Sam has joined Alex on the bed late Sunday night a Sam has joined Alex on the bed late Sunday night and Oliver is in the blue chair, so they’re not leaving much room for me in the bedroom. They don’t see that as an issue, of course. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #blackcat #blackcats #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Our house has been in grave danger this afternoon Our house has been in grave danger this afternoon because an unknown black cat has been stalking the neighborhood. Fortunately for us, Alex is on duty to keep us alerted to developments in this disturbing case. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
From the CritterCam: All three cats went to the of From the CritterCam: All three cats went to the office for the night about 10 minutes ago. I’m convinced that Alex knows I’m watching him. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
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If you have problems with high blood pressure, I’d like to encourage you to consider making serious changes to your diet. There might be some people who don’t have any choice but to start taking prescription medications for high blood pressure, but I’d like to tell you that I have completely eliminated my issue by eliminating all sugar and almost all carbohydrates. (A couple of months ago, my blood pressure hit 185/144, which was dangerously high — considered stage 3 hypertension.) By completely changing my eating habits, I’m down 22 pounds and my blood pressure is now in the “ideal” range — without taking any medication. In addition, I sleep better and I have more energy. Getting away from the sugar-laden mess that we generally refer to as “highly processed food” has been a life-changer for me. Now my challenge is to avoid slipping back into old habits — by eating in the dangerous ways that almost everyone in our society has come to see as normal.

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The late Steve Jobs was at the center of our culture’s transition from analog to digital. He co-founded Apple Computer. He led the team that revolutionized personal computing with the first Macintosh. As CEO of Apple, he led the development of the iPhone and later the iPad. You would think the children of such a man would be surrounded by technology. But Jobs and his wife Laureen didn’t let their children use iPads. Their home had few screens of any kind. Even though Jobs spent most of his time developing and selling Macs and iPhones and iPads, he was home with his wife and children for dinner when he was in town. The family ate together at a simple wooden table in their kitchen — and there were no digital devices or focus on popular culture. Instead, he’s said to have guided his family toward deep discussions of art, philosophy and education — with no iPads to be found. If the man who guided the development of such products chose a different path for his own children, does that suggest that his digital experience taught him that children need human connection, not screens? And does it suggest the possibility that we might be better off if we made the same choice for our families?

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