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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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I don’t like most people in TV ads, but I can’t tell if it’s them or me

By David McElroy · December 26, 2021

Television commercials frustrate me. I don’t even own a television anymore, but I still stream football and basketball games on my MacBook, so I can’t escape all TV ads.

The culture we choose to allow around us teaches us what “normal” behavior is like in that culture. We’re rarely conscious of this, but culture shapes what children will become and it reinforces those cultural norms for adults.

Before mass media existed, we learned from the behavior of family, friends, associates and strangers around us. But once mass media arrived, that role was increasingly filled by movies, popular music, television shows — and now by social media.

Television commercials are one of the most important components of that culture. Huge companies pay smart and talented people a lot of money to manipulate us — to make us want to give them our money. They don’t necessarily intend to define what the culture is, but they do. In part, they define the culture and, in part, they also reflect what certain cultural elites force them to project.

Since I avoid most of what popular culture has become — because I believe the culture has become dangerously dysfunctional — it’s often jarring to encounter it. And I’ve been feeling that way lately when I see the “normal families” in these commercials.

When I was younger, I watched television just as much as other typical Americans. I saw enough programs — and watched enough commercials — that I wasn’t as aware back then of just how much these commercials shape our views of the society around us.

But now that I see so little of this mass medium, what I do see strikes me as artful dishonesty. Even the commercials feel like a contrived effort to reflect a reality which doesn’t exist and never will exist. Those ads feel like a balancing act by ad execs to placate “social justice warriors” while still finding a way to manipulate people into spending money.

The families in commercials rarely feel like real families to me. The still image above is from a commercial I saw today for a financial investment company. The beautifully shot scenes are supposed to reflect the good life experienced by a typical family which has let this company manage its money.

But the people feel like a collection of actors whose ethnic looks are balanced in a way to avoid looking like any particular kind of family. There’s nothing wrong with ethnically mixed families — and they do happen — but there seems to be a conscious desire to show anything but typical families.

Are they white? Asian? Hispanic? If you look at the commercial, you see different actors who are kinda, sorta everything possible in a vaguely light-skinned group of people.

And I’ve noticed an odd tendency — especially from high-end auto brands — to cast their family members with black actors and instruct them to imitate what they assume rich white suburban people must act like.

These sorts of commercials end up seeming like a parody of rich white people — played by black actors — acting in ways that I’ve never even seen from the real-life rich white folks I know. But such commercials allow the companies to say, “See? We’re diverse. We’re not just assuming the people who can afford our vehicles are white.”

I’m all in favor of companies marketing toward whoever their customers really are — rich or poor, white or black, straight or gay — but there seems to be a bizarre effort to mix and match what we see in ways that will be acceptable to political activists, not necessarily to real customers.

More and more, the families I see — and the groups of friends I see — in television commercials seem more like conscious efforts to dictate what political activists on the left want reality to be. What I see doesn’t reflect much of the reality I see in the real world. It feels jarring and it feels wrong. It feels like an attempt to shape a society through social and political pressure from unaccountable activists.

I was telling someone last week that I’m still not sure what I am, but he initially understood me to say that I don’t know who I am. To me, those are two very different things.

I’ve spent years thinking deeply about who I am. The question is actually very complicated and I suspect most people never give it serious thought. But I feel confident that I know myself to a decent degree.

What I’m still not clear about is what I am — by which I mean, what am I in relation to this culture in which I live?

What role do I play in this society? Where do I fit? How well do I integrate into what is normal in my culture? And do I want to integrate into that culture?

To use Howard Bloom’s memorable categories — from his book, “The Lucifer Principle” — it’s clear that most people in every stable culture are “conformity enforcers,” but that’s not me. I’m among the much-smaller group that Bloom terms as “diversity generators,” which he says are necessary to keep societies from stagnation. (He also points out that most diversity generators are ultimately going to fail, but the few who succeed will change everything.) But how do I specifically fill that role? That’s the part I’m still working out.

I don’t like the people I see in a lot of television commercial right now, because these characters feel dishonest to me. The roles feel forced. They don’t feel like reflections of reality as I understand it. They seem like reflections of the reality which political activists want to manipulate us into becoming.

More and more, I understand why some groups with values which are different from this dysfunctional culture try to keep their members from interacting with modern mass media. It’s not necessarily because they’re bigoted rubes who are stupid and backwards. Some of them might be, but for many of them, the issue is far more basic.

They have a vision of truth which they want their members to accept and emulate — and they’re smart enough to understand that their members will always gravitate toward emulating what’s modeled by the dysfunctional mainstream culture if exposed to this powerful medium.

Do you want to be like the mainstream culture? Do you like the values that are increasingly infiltrating from the political and social left? Is this what you want your children to believe and how you want them to behave?

If you keep allowing the mass media of this dysfunctional culture to have access to you and to your children, you’re going to be assimilated or destroyed. An individual can choose to become what the culture dictates — or he or she can consciously choose different values instead.

I’m not comfortable with the values and the direction of this dysfunctional culture. I’m still trying to figure out precisely how to effectively oppose that dysfunction and how to promote a healthier alternative. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what I am in relation to the powerful forces that are pushing us off a cliff.

But I’m absolutely certain that if you continue to pollute your mind with the mass media of this culture, you will be assimilated by an evil which you won’t even recognize until it’s too late.

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Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

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I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a few shots after I got home late Monday night. This one wasn’t great, so I’ll try again later, but I can use it until I have time to shoot another. I was too lazy to light this one properly — and it shows. 😺
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
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As I left the house early Tuesday afternoon, Olive As I left the house early Tuesday afternoon, Oliver was relaxing in the warm sunshine of an office window.
Late Monday night, Alex and Meg are having a quiet Late Monday night, Alex and Meg are having a quiet face-off on the bed. Neither is quite sure what to think of the other, even though Meg has been here for almost a month. They’re now all eating and sleeping in the same room, though, so she’s become part of the group.
From the CritterCam: I’m at the other office, so I From the CritterCam: I’m at the other office, so I don’t know what has Alex’s attention, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already waking up at 5 p.m. to start the long vigil for dinner.
Early Monday afternoon, Meg is watching activity f Early Monday afternoon, Meg is watching activity from his new brothers from the safety of a cave of the castle.
A few minutes before midnight, Meg is on her back A few minutes before midnight, Meg is on her back purring in my lap. She’s a happy girl. You can tell that the dirt and grime from her years outside still haven’t completely faded on the white fur of her back legs.
Meg is hanging out in the bedroom with me just aft Meg is hanging out in the bedroom with me just after midnight Saturday night.
I’ve been waiting football Saturday evening instea I’ve been waiting football Saturday evening instead of feeding cats — and Alex is very certain that I have my priorities very confused. He’s not happy with this. He’s sitting on a pile of dirty clothes watching me giving attention to a game instead of him.
From the CritterCam: I have no idea what has captu From the CritterCam: I have no idea what has captured Oliver’s attention outside an office window Saturday evening just before sunset, but I just checked on him remotely and found him with this very intense expression on his face.
Meg posed for a simple portrait in the bedroom for Meg posed for a simple portrait in the bedroom for me late Friday night. She’s a very photogenic girl.
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The company that owns Facebook and Instagram is heavily promoting its new AI-based software assistant called Muse, but people who are using it as it was designed are incredibly foolish. An early adopter of the software discovered that a few days ago when he advertised an item for sale on Facebook Marketplace — and he inadvertently gave Muse full authority to act on his behalf. The software agreed to a lowball offer made by another Facebook user and then gave that man the home address of the man for whom he was an agent. The software told the buyer that the seller was home and waiting for him. When the buyer showed up and waited angrily, the would-be buyer left an angry review for the man. And this angry man had the seller’s home address. It was only well after that that the software reported what it had done and admitted it had made a mistake. I won’t be putting that much power into the hands of any software. I think anyone who agrees to such terms is a fool. And the software’s user agreement says you’re responsible for purchases the software makes in your name. Nope.

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