• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to secondary sidebar
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • YouTube

David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

  • About
  • Podcasts

Goodbye, Thomas (2006?-2023)

By David McElroy · September 20, 2023

I lost the wise old man of my household when Thomas died early Wednesday afternoon. I can’t be sure of how old he was when he came to live with me in 2011, but he was around 17 years old by the time of his death.

Thomas spent most of his life as a very unfriendly cat who didn’t even trust the man who fed him every day for years. That distrust was a reflection of his feral life on the street before he came to me. But the last nine months of his life were almost miraculous.

Since December 2022, Thomas changed a lot. For the first time in his life, he learned to play normal chase games with another cat. He finally would allow me to pick him up without clawing like a wildcat who thought his life was in danger. He even learned to voluntarily spend time with me — and he even learned to relax and purr when I rubbed him.

All these changes happened because Alex came to live with us in December.

When I took Thomas in back in 2011, I looked very hard to find a home for him. But because he wasn’t a friendly and social cat, nobody was interested. His only friend was another feral cat who I took in at the same time, a gold and white cat named Sonny.

Thomas and Sonny were two feral cats who were eventually fed by one of my neighbors who loved cats. But after she and her husband bought another house and moved, she worried about what would happen to this pair — so I took them in.

Sonny died shortly thereafter, but Thomas became part of my cat household after nobody wanted him. He became close to Merlin after Sonny’s death. Thomas was never an “alpha cat,” and he seemed to need a friend to follow.

After Merlin died late last year, Thomas was alone and despondent — but then Alex showed up. And everything changed.

Alex insisted that Thomas play with him. Even when Thomas seemed to refuse at first, Alex persisted — and Thomas slowly seemed to pick up on how cat games worked. For months, they’ve chased each other and pounced on one another. Even though Thomas was an old man, he played with Alex almost like another kitten.

And then something completely unexpected happened. Thomas finally warmed up to me. It was gradual, but it was also because of Thomas.

Alex constantly wants my attention. When I come home, he wants to be held and rubbed. When I work at home, he wants to be close to me. He gets as much attention from me as he possibly can.

Thomas apparently noticed this. I can only assume he was emulating his little brother. He started allowing me to pick him up. Not often, at first. But he allowed it. Then he started seeming to enjoy it. He purred when I rubbed him. He started coming to me and lying down very close to me, inviting me to touch him. All of this was brand new for him — but he seemed very happy.

A few days ago, I saw him do something else that was new to him. For the first time in his life, he seemed to be happy enough to spontaneously start kneading his paws on the bed while he purred — in the action that’s commonly referred to as “making biscuits.”

Ever since Alex arrived, Thomas has been a different cat. For the last six months or so, he seemed more openly and obviously happy than I’d ever known him to be.

But I knew that old age was catching up with him. He had lost a little bit of weight and looked old. He wasn’t sickly, but he was going through a stage of old age that I’ve seen from cats over and over again. I didn’t know how much longer I had with him, but I knew he was in his last year or two.

For the last few months, I’ve been feeding Alex and Thomas separately, because I was afraid the young and rambunctious Alex was stealing too much of his food. Since Thomas had lost some weight, I wanted to make sure he was eating enough.

His appetite has been great. He’s actively demanded food just as he always did. And he was still active enough that he spent part of last night on top of his favorite bookcase in the office — which required two big jumps to climb.

When I fed him shortly after noon today, he didn’t attack his food with his typical vigor. But I closed the door to let him eat in peace — away from Alex and Lucy — while I went to get ready to head to the office.

When I opened the door to check on him half an hour later, his food was untouched. He was lying peacefully next to the bowl — and his little body was already starting to get cold.

Thomas is another one of those cats who I took in simply because nobody else wanted him. I didn’t feel a strong emotional attachment to him for a long time, simply because he wouldn’t let me near him. (Even giving him his flea treatment each month was an ordeal that normally left me scratched and bloodied.)

But Alex seemed to teach Thomas how to be a loving and normal part of our family. In the months before his death, he warmed up and opened his little heart — to Alex and to me.

It’s always heartbreaking to me to lose a cat or a dog. It never seems to get easier. I wish Thomas could have learned to be the loving and sweet cat he became in the last year old his life long ago. But I will always be grateful that Alex was able to bring him out of his feral shell — and I’ll always be grateful for the last nine months I’ve had with him.

I will miss Thomas more than I used to think I would, simply because he learned to be a loving friend at the end.

Note: The photo of Thomas at the top is from two months ago. Below, there is a photo of Sonny and Thomas sleeping in an open window together in September 2012. Below that is a shot of Thomas from March 2015.

Share on Social Networks

Related Posts

  • What if people don’t really care about understanding each other?
  • Conflict pushes inner buttons to make me feel like child in trouble
  • I’d love to move to the Caribbean, so what’s been keeping me here?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

My Instagram

I apparently have way too much time on my hands. I I apparently have way too much time on my hands. I’ll let you know if any of the toy companies agree to pick this up as a featured toy for the upcoming Christmas season. Thanks, ChatGPT. 😺
Thunderstorms are just starting here, so I stopped Thunderstorms are just starting here, so I stopped on the way home — about a mile from my house — for some dramatic lightning photos. #nature #naturephotography #sky #lightning #night #thunderstorms #birmingham #alabama
This was the Friday evening sunset near my house a This was the Friday evening sunset near my house about half an hour ago. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
Lucy and I are taking her last walk of the day and Lucy and I are taking her last walk of the day and it’s just starting to rain lightly. The misting rain and low-lying fog that diffused the light from nearby street lamps give the night a magical feeling.
It seems as though the trees turned bare of their It seems as though the trees turned bare of their leaves almost overnight when I wasn’t paying attention. This is part of the neighborhood route that Lucy and I walk every night. #nature #naturephotography #sky #nightsky #iphone #birmingham #alabama
I love the way the sky looks over our heads tonigh I love the way the sky looks over our heads tonight as Lucy patrols the neighborhood for her final rounds of the day. #nature #naturephotography #sky #nightsky #clouds #iphone #birmingham #alabama
I’m recording video for a YouTube project late F I’m recording video for a YouTube project late Friday night and I just started thinking about how much different things in the studio look to me as compared to what video viewers see. The reality is that my home studio is just a room at my house that’s stuffed with lights and equipment (first shot), but when you look at what’s on the screen (second shot) you might assume I’m in a real studio somewhere. The only problem is that there are train tracks close to my house, so I have to shut down production whenever Norfolk Southern decides to send a freight train through my neighborhood. It’s amazing what is possible today that would have been impossible not that long ago.
The sky was beautiful above me as I walked out of The sky was beautiful above me as I walked out of Walmart just a few minutes ago. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
It’s only 9:30 p.m. and I’m finally almost hom It’s only 9:30 p.m. and I’m finally almost home, but it feels more like midnight. I showed houses tonight and then had to deal with some tenant problems in a couple of rental houses. I think it feels so late simply because it’s starting to get dark earlier and I’m not accustomed to it yet. On a night such as this one — when I feel really tired — I feel as though my clothes and face are a work uniform. And I’m ready to take the uniform off and go off-duty for the night.
Follow on Instagram

Critter Instagram

Oliver relaxes on my desk late Sunday afternoon wh Oliver relaxes on my desk late Sunday afternoon while I write at my desk. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Late Sunday afternoon, Sam is watching a neighbor Late Sunday afternoon, Sam is watching a neighbor cut his grass, which is apparently quite suspicious in his eyes. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #blackcat #blackcats #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Lucy’s nightly appearance on her Neighborhood Wa Lucy’s nightly appearance on her Neighborhood Watch patrols have been enough to keep the area safe from criminals and other ne’er-do-wells for the 10 years we’ve lived here, so the bad folks are clearly terrified of her. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
After a couple of days of rain — including serio After a couple of days of rain — including serious thunderstorms this morning — Oliver is enjoying some sunshine in an office window Saturday evening. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Alex might be halfway to sleep for the night, but Alex might be halfway to sleep for the night, but he still likes attention enough to purr about it. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturdayeve
I just came home to change clothes and found Olive I just came home to change clothes and found Oliver camped out on my desk watching the neighborhood. He was too focused on whatever he’s been watching to pay much attention to me this evening. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturdayeve
As he hangs off the corner of my desk to survey th As he hangs off the corner of my desk to survey the office, it’s pretty clear just how productive a day Alex is having. His work is exhausting and he needs a weekend to recover. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Alex hid underneath a t-shirt on the bed for a few Alex hid underneath a t-shirt on the bed for a few minutes — and Oliver wasn’t quite sure what to think about the situation until his tabby brother emerged. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
A few minutes ago, I couldn’t find Sam anywhere. A few minutes ago, I couldn’t find Sam anywhere. Alex and Oliver were both in the bedroom, but they didn’t act as though anything was abnormal. I was starting to panic after looking for about 10 minutes when I finally saw two little eyes looking up at me from a pile of black clothes. The pile was roughly at waist level for me, so that meant when I glanced at the pile, I saw nothing but a big pile of black stuff. It wasn’t until I saw his eyes that I realized that Sam was part of that black “stuff.” #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #blackcat #blackcats #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Follow on Instagram

Contact David

David likes email, but can’t reply to every message. I get a surprisingly large number of requests for relationship advice — seriously — but time doesn’t permit a response to all of them. (Sorry.)

Subscribe

Enter your address to receive notifications by email every time new articles are posted. Then click “Subscribe.”

Search

Donations

If you enjoy this site and want to help, click here. All donations are appreciated, no matter how large or small. (PayPal often doesn’t identify donors, so I might not be able to thank you directly.)




Archives

Secondary Sidebar

Briefly

A state legislator in Maine has been stripped of the ability to speak in the state Legislature — and her votes are not being counted on legislative issues — all because she made a truthful social media post. Rep. Laurel Libby (R-Auburn, Maine) opposes allowing boys to compete against girls’ teams in school athletics and she’s become known for making an issue of it. On Feb. 17, she posted on Facebook about a recent example that she found outrageous. She posted side-by-side photos of a boy named John who competed last year in a state track event and won fifth place against other boys two years ago — and a photo of the same boy (now called Katie) who won first place in the same event this year against girls. Whether you find this outrageous or not, Libby is clearly being honest and truthful about the objective facts of an issue of public importance. But the state Legislature censured her. Democrats decreed that she could not speak in the House and that her votes would not count on legislation — until she apologized for the outrage of telling the truth. She refused and her constituents have been unrepresented in the state House since then. The people who promote this ideology are out of touch with reality and won’t rest until they force the rest of us to join them in this delusion. But even if you agree with “trans” ideology, you should be appalled at this heavy-handed attack on political speech.

The late Steve Jobs was at the center of our culture’s transition from analog to digital. He co-founded Apple Computer. He led the team that revolutionized personal computing with the first Macintosh. As CEO of Apple, he led the development of the iPhone and later the iPad. You would think the children of such a man would be surrounded by technology. But Jobs and his wife Laureen didn’t let their children use iPads. Their home had few screens of any kind. Even though Jobs spent most of his time developing and selling Macs and iPhones and iPads, he was home with his wife and children for dinner when he was in town. The family ate together at a simple wooden table in their kitchen — and there were no digital devices or focus on popular culture. Instead, he’s said to have guided his family toward deep discussions of art, philosophy and education — with no iPads to be found. If the man who guided the development of such products chose a different path for his own children, does that suggest that his digital experience taught him that children need human connection, not screens? And does it suggest the possibility that we might be better off if we made the same choice for our families?

For four years, Donald Trump’s supporters screamed that everything that went wrong was the fault of Joe Biden. They were sometimes right and they were sometimes delusional. (Anybody who knows me understands that I can’t stand Biden any more than I can stand Trump, just for different reasons.) But for two months, Trump has rampaged through U.S. political life — vandalizing pretty much everything in sight — and the vast majority of his supporters are silent at best. Many watch as he blows up the world economy and they make excuses for him. They’re in absolute denial, even about things that Trump is doing very intentionally. Anybody who understands economics and history knows that tariffs are a terrible idea from a pragmatic point of view. Anybody who values individual freedom knows that tariffs are massive taxes on individuals — and they’re a tool of political control over the ability of people to trade freely. Trump is the antithesis of everything which political conservatives stood for just a few years ago. It’s far past time for people who claim to be conservatives to reclaim the principles and values which they used to claim — and stop this mad man before he can accelerate the day when we experience economic and social collapse. Open your eyes to reality and reject this lying narcissist.

On a live awards show Sunday night, one man made a joke about a female celebrity. The husband of the celebrity was offended and hit the man who made the joke. Or maybe it was staged for entertainment. Who knows? Who cares? Social media is full of discussion — and even arguments — about this idiocy today. This baffles me. Let’s assume for a moment that the event happened as reported. People have been having such idiotic fights ever since there have been humans. Half the bars in the world see such brief dustups regularly. It simply doesn’t matter. The fact that so many people believe they need to talk about this — or even need to have opinions about it — is more evidence of the bizarre media brainwashing that convinces many to care passionately about brain-dead trivia. Your life will be happier and saner if you focus on yourself, your family and your friends, not on whatever scripted (or spontaneous) bilge that the media wants to pipe into your home.

I’m in the middle of migrating this website to new servers this week. This means you might encounter some unexpected behavior until I get all the bugs worked out. Clicking on my links (including this one) might cause your browser to give you the message that it’s a site without a current security certificate. It’s not actually unsafe, but there’s something which isn’t yet set up for the security certificate. I apologize for any such errors you might encounter while the process is going on. If you notice any problems with content which didn’t migrate properly, I would appreciate you letting me know the details at davidmcelroy@mac.com. Thanks for your patience.

Read More

Crass Capitalism

Before you buy anything from Amazon, please click on this link. I’ll get a tiny commission, but it won’t cost you a nickel extra. The cats and Lucy will thank you. And so will I.

© 2011–2025 · All Rights Reserved
Built by: 1955 DESIGN