I was having dinner Saturday night with a woman I don’t know very well when a wave of despair hit me.
It was out of the blue. I had no idea where it came from. All I knew is that it felt like a sudden blast of pure despair — about myself, about the world, about the future, about being loved. About everything. It felt as though someone had flipped a switch inside me.
Suddenly, hope was gone. In the dark emptiness where it had been, there was a dark monster which I call depression.
Nothing outward changed. I was still smiling and pleasant with my dinner companion. She had no idea anything was going on. But after I dropped her off later in the evening, I drove home in silence and surrounded by a darkness which felt heavy and oppressive.
Why does hope disappear?
Just as Jesus cried when he felt abandoned on the cross, I feel like crying out at such times, “Why have you forsaken me?”