• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to secondary sidebar
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

David McElroy

An Alien Sent to Observe the Human Race

  • About
  • Podcasts

We can’t really change people, even if they offer us the control

By David McElroy · March 28, 2021

People rarely change. Not really.

Our movies and novels and self-help books all seem to be based on the idea that personal change is common. Without serious character development in fiction, movies and novels would be boring. If a self-help book said, “Don’t bother, because you’re probably not going to change anyway,” nobody would buy it.

We’re culturally conditioned to believe that substantial change in a person is common, but reality is far different. And it’s even more rare when a person changes someone else — because humans aren’t puppets who can be controlled on the inside.

If I try to change someone else — even if we both agree the change is for the better — I’m very unlikely to succeed. It’s a foolish thing to try. Even if you do succeed, the person who’s forced the change will always hold a superior position — and that will never allow for a healthy and equal relationship.

Even though I know all this, I’ve tried it anyway. Not consciously, but I’ve done it, thinking I had the best of intentions. As recently as about five years ago, I tried to change a woman I dated — and it was a miserable failure for both of us.

Keep Reading

Share on Social Networks

Related Posts

  • Words of appreciation can have power to connect us and heal us
  • Are modern Americans tough enough to survive in united nation?
  • Loving father’s pride in daughter easily bridges our language gap

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Life is a game of hide-and-seek; we’re lost if we no longer seek

By David McElroy · March 25, 2021

I’ve found you a thousand times
I guess you’ve done the same
But then we lose each other
It’s just like a children’s game
— Harry Chapin, “Circle”

The warm breeze was heavy with the scent of honeysuckle that evening. There was still enough light to see, and the fading sunset made the sky colorful as the light dimmed and the shadows lengthened. But the honeysuckle scent is what I remember most.

I don’t know why that particular night remains with me. I was about 9 years old and I was one of seven or eight children playing hide-and-seek around the neighborhood. Our house was the center of the play area. There were a couple of houses to the left and one other to the right. There was a meadow behind our house — and an old, unused barn beyond that. It seemed that we played for hours.

Nobody wanted to stop, but it eventually got too dark to see. We split up to go to our own homes — happy with the games and ready to resume our hide-and-seek play on another day.

This memory came to my mind strongly tonight. And it suddenly occurred to me — for the first time in my life — that this sort of game helps prepare children for what’s ahead in their adults lives.

Keep Reading

Share on Social Networks

Related Posts

  • Homeless honor student thrown into jail for missing too much school
  • Bernanke: Recovery ‘faltering,’ so let’s do more of what hasn’t workedBernanke: Recovery ‘faltering,’ so let’s do more of what hasn’t worked
  • Who are you trying to impress? Answer may explain who you are

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Ghost from my past haunts me, but leaves me without answers

By David McElroy · March 21, 2021

She never really goes away, but she’s also never really there. Like a ghost from another life — a life which I once lived with her — she haunts my dreams and intrudes on my waking hours.

It’s not convenient to live with a ghost from the past. My conscious mind has buried her over and over again. But just when I start thinking I’ve won the long struggle to put her behind me, I remember she’s still in this world. And it all comes flooding back.

Her face. Her eyes. Her voice. Her words. Her habits and her thoughts. Her goodness and her fatal flaws. And then I can’t stop the tidal wave of emotions. It exhausts me, because I’m left with nothing but unanswered questions.

As I walked down an aisle of a grocery store late Saturday night, I suddenly heard something in my heart ask, “Do you still miss me? I still miss you.”

And I felt her presence. She was there. But she was there as a shimmering ghost from the past, not as a real woman who could love me or answer my questions.

Keep Reading

Share on Social Networks

Related Posts

  • Best ways for man to love woman flow from how he lives every day
  • Is Ayn Rand spinning in her grave? ‘Atlas Shrugged’ is a bad film
  • Hank Williams story reminds me I’ve always wanted to be a star

Filed Under: Uncategorized

  • ⪡
  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Go to page 4
  • Go to page 5
  • Go to page 6
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 609
  • ⪢

Primary Sidebar

My Instagram

There was a brief splash of sunset color Saturday There was a brief splash of sunset color Saturday evening just after the sun sank beneath the western horizon. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
Every spring, I have this internal debate. Are the Every spring, I have this internal debate. Are these flowers or weeds? They’re small flowers in my yard, but I didn’t plant them. Those who think a yard should look like a manicured golf course would say they’re weeds which need to be killed. But they’re beautiful and they cost me nothing, so why wouldn’t I leave them in place and enjoy them? #nature #naturephotography #flowers #spring #birmingham #alabama
This one is unusual for me, but as I headed home l This one is unusual for me, but as I headed home late Friday night, I became fascinated by the notion that U.S. 411 near my house was a race track and the cars and trucks were all unknowing participants in a grand auto race. The service station is just a pit stop into which many pull to get fuel and then they continue their cross-country trek on nearby I-20. We just don’t have any idea who wins this race, because there are no rules.
Here’s the Sunday evening sunset from Moody, Ala Here’s the Sunday evening sunset from Moody, Ala., which is just to the east of Birmingham. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I came out of a grocery store just after 7 p.m. an I came out of a grocery store just after 7 p.m. and caught the last light of sunset from the parking lot. I’m always surprised when I see views such as this and notice that hardly anybody stops to watch the beauty as it unfolds. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I just stepped out of a restaurant about 15 minute I just stepped out of a restaurant about 15 minutes after sunset and noticed these gorgeous pastel colors fading along the horizon to the west. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
Tonight’s sunset was very soft and delicate, lik Tonight’s sunset was very soft and delicate, like something from a painting with pastels. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I am endlessly fascinated by the beauty of bare tr I am endlessly fascinated by the beauty of bare tree branches against a night sky, but my photos of such scenes never seem to quite match the loveliness of what I see in person. #nature #naturephotography #tree #night #sky #birmingham #alabama
I stopped at the Cahaba River bridge on I-459 just I stopped at the Cahaba River bridge on I-459 just south of Birmingham to catch this sunset shot on the way home from work Tuesday evening. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
Follow on Instagram

Critter Instagram

As Merlin posed for a midnight portrait, he asked As Merlin posed for a midnight portrait, he asked me — not for the first time — why humans set up their lives in such a way that they spend most of their time away from home. I didn’t have a good answer for his question. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2024 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Molly has been asleep, but I just filled her water Molly has been asleep, but I just filled her water bowl, so she’s come to inspect the bowl to make sure the job I did was up to her standards. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #greeneyes #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Thomas is alertly curious late Saturday night as M Thomas is alertly curious late Saturday night as Molly looks on from his protective shadow behind him. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturday
Merlin just woke up from a Saturday afternoon nap, Merlin just woke up from a Saturday afternoon nap, but the chirping spring birds outside the window have attracted his attention. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2024 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturday
Molly got to lick the ice cream bowl after I was f Molly got to lick the ice cream bowl after I was finished — and she purred the entire time. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #greeneyes #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturdayeve
Molly is super excited as she realizes there’s i Molly is super excited as she realizes there’s ice cream in the house — and she’ll get some if she plays her cards right. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #greeneyes #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturdayeve
Thomas peeks around Molly to see if I’m trying t Thomas peeks around Molly to see if I’m trying to head his way to pick him up, too. As long as Molly is between us, he knows she’s more in danger of receiving unwanted attention than he is. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Molly wasn’t so excited to pose for a picture wi Molly wasn’t so excited to pose for a picture with me. In fact, she seems more like a death-row convict on the way to execution. She was happy when the ordeal was over. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #greeneyes #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Lucy just had dinner a moment ago, but she seems t Lucy just had dinner a moment ago, but she seems to be so stuffed that she’s already thinking about turning in for an evening nap. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Follow on Instagram

Contact David

David likes email, but can’t reply to every message. I get a surprisingly large number of requests for relationship advice — seriously — but time doesn’t permit a response to all of them. (Sorry.)

Subscribe

Enter your address to receive notifications by email every time new articles are posted. Then click “Subscribe.”

Donations

If you enjoy this site and want to help, click here. All donations are appreciated, no matter how large or small. (PayPal often doesn’t identify donors, so I might not be able to thank you directly.)




Search

Archives

Secondary Sidebar

Briefly

I received the first dose of a COVID-19 vaccine Monday — and I’m happy to report that I’m neither dead nor a zombie controlled by Bill Gates and Co. Eligibility was recently opened in Alabama to everyone who’s 16 or older, so I signed up for the Pfizer vaccine at a site run by a local university. I know this is a political issue for a lot of people, but that honestly baffles me. We can disagree about whether such a vaccine should be mandatory — which I’m against — but as a voluntary choice, it seems like an easy choice now that it’s been safely given to millions of people. Is it a perfect preventative? Of course not. But the decision seemed obvious to me when looking at the statistics and evidence. I haven’t had any of the side effects that some people have experienced, but that’s supposed to be more of an issue after the second dose, which I’ll get on May 3. In the meantime, I’ll let you know if I grow a third arm — or if the secret microchip kicks in and someone starts trying to control me remotely. All kidding aside, getting the vaccine seems like a rational voluntary choice to me.

I get a lot of email from readers. Some of it is fascinating and useful. Some of it is full of confessions that people want to share with a stranger. Some people write to ask advice. What’s really surprising, though, is the small percentage that seems to come from mentally unbalanced people. When I started using the metaphor about being an alien — the tagline at the top of each page here — it never occurred to me that I’d start hearing from people who took it seriously. But every few months, I get a strange email — such as the one above from a few months back — from someone who seems to think I’m claiming to be an actual alien. The first time it happened, I laughed. By the time it became a semi-regular thing, I was simply appalled. For the record, I can provide no proof that I’m an alien, because … well … it’s just a metaphor. I do feel like an alien among human beings, but as far as I know, I’m just as earthbound as you are. It’s just a metaphor. Honest. Or at least, that’s what my lizard-beast overlords told me to say.

After Tampa Bay, Fla., musician Colt Clark had all of his gigs canceled last year for months on end, the entire family felt trapped at home as most of the world was on quarantine lockdown. His wife, Aubree, had an idea that would let Colt make music and involve the whole family in making music videos to share with their friends and family on Facebook. Aubree is a photographer and homeschooling mom to a daughter and two sons, who range in age from 6 to 11. After their friends started asking to share the videos, they made the performances public — and a few of them are now on YouTube, where they go by the name of Colt Clark and the Quarantine Kids. The younger son, Becket, is on drums. The older boy, Cash, plays keyboards, strings and guitars. Dad supplies lead vocals and plays guitar, while 6-year-old Bellamy mostly dances but sometimes does backup vocals. There’s even a dog who makes an occasional appearance. The Clark family has just raised the bar for what I need to create with my future children. And best of all, they seem to be having a great time together. I hope they make you as happy as they make me.

Have you ever wondered how the social media world works for so-called “influencers”? I find it comical, so I thought I’d share with you. I frequently get offers such as what I’m about to describe. And if I’m getting such offers — as a relative nobody in the online world — you can only imagine what people with huge audiences are offered. It starts with an email appealing to my ego: “We came across your online presence and we LOVE your style. We’d love to have you as one of our Brand Ambassadors. To celebrate our new [Brand Name] collection, we want to give you a FREE Watch so you can post a picture of you wearing it and drive more exposure to our brand.” Did you hear that? They love me. They want me to be seen wearing their cheap $59 watch so other people will think, “If this amazing influencer wears that, surely I should buy one.” They even offer me commissions on the watches sold from people clicking from my site. So the next time you see some alleged “influencer” touting something online or on social media, remember that this is what it’s probably all about. It’s laughable.

Modern culture is going insane. The latest evidence comes from the effort to redefine children’s author Dr. Seuss as a racist whose books should be banned. Why? Because a few images in those books don’t meet modern political standards. The drawing you see here is one of those “dangerously racist images,” and it comes from the Dr. Seuss classic, “And to Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street.” The book catalogs all the wild diversity seen by a child on one street, including the offending drawing of a Chinese boy. What’s racist about it? Apparently, it was racist to show the boy eating rice, wearing a funny hat, using chopsticks and (worst of all) having eyes represented by a slit. (The bearded man near him has dots for eyes, but that’s apparently OK.) In other words, the stereotypes are considered racist today. (Oddly, the culture warriors who fret over such things are never concerned if a white southerner is depicted as ignorant trash living in a trailer. Some stereotypes are great, especially if the left hates those people anyway.) Theodore Geisel — the name of the real-life Dr. Seuss — was a product of his time and nobody at that time would have seen any of this as racist. Using stereotypes and exaggerations is how artists depict differences in simple ways. You can argue that it’s better to achieve the end result in a different way, but it’s insane to pretend that everybody from the past should have his work erased because it doesn’t match the preferences of modern leftists. Unfortunately, the company that publishes Dr. Seuss books has caved to the insane people — and six of his popular works will no longer be published. The world has simply gone insane.

Read More

Crass Capitalism

Before you buy anything from Amazon, please click on this ad. I’ll get a tiny commission, but it won’t cost you a nickel extra. The cats and I thank you. (If you’re using an ad-blocker and can’t see the ad, you can click here instead.)

© 2011–2021 · All Rights Reserved
Built by: 1955 DESIGN