My father died this morning, but I actually lost him many years ago.
There was a tragic pattern in his life, one which I couldn’t see while it was happening, but which is plain to see now that his life is gone. He was desperate to be loved and needed — something which I can understand — but he managed to destroy every relationship he ever had for long.
He attracted people to him with his good nature and charm. He drove them away with his need to control them — and with his incessant lies about just about everything.
His three children once loved and adored him. One by one, he pushed us away. My mother loved him when I was young, but he crushed her spirit and destroyed her love. He screamed at her. He belittled her. He tried to force her to be like him in every way.
Mother’s loving and childlike spirit was wounded badly — and she walked away from us because she came to believe she was either going to kill him or kill herself.