I’m constantly terrified that you might be judging me.
I hate admitting that. In truth, you probably don’t care enough to judge me. I’m on the periphery of your world — at best — so you barely notice I exist, much less do you judge me. But here I am worried about your judgment.
I fear that random strangers in public think I’m fat and unattractive. I fear that people I work with are going to be offended at something I say and maybe ridicule me behind my back. I fear that clients won’t like me. I fear that I can’t be good enough — smart enough, talented enough, successful enough — for you.
I desperately crave a place where I’m safe. Where I won’t be judged. Where I’ll be accepted — by people who I love and respect — as being good enough just by being the person I am.