See if you’ve heard this story before. Or maybe lived it.
It was about 12 years ago when my friend married a man who seemed like her dream guy. She cared about money and status and prestige in her church and community. He had it all. He was a successful businessman. He was respected and held positions in community organizations. He was a leader at his church who served on committees and boards.
Before they married, there were warning signs, but she ignored them. He checked every box on her list of things she wanted. Anything else must be insignificant. She could deal with the rest as long as she had her dream man. Her friends and family told her how lucky she was to have someone with his qualities. She agreed.
After the wedding, the fantasy started fading. Those little warning signs she had ignored — the flashes of anger and cruelty — became more common. He routinely called her vile names. He bullied her into not talking with friends anymore. He was insanely jealous for no reason.
And because she thought she had no choice — since she had her dream guy — she put up with it.
Midlife becomes big crisis when our self-deception stops working
Watching kids on a Friday night reminds me of struggle to belong
What if other people see you or hear you differently than you do?
If romantic love is mental illness, do many of us want to be cured?
Film hurts when I hear, ‘I’ve seen what we can be like together’