The brutal truth is that people rarely change how they treat others — no matter how much they plead and beg and promise to change their ways.
I get a lot of email from people seeking relationship advice. I think it’s because I’ve written quite a bit about love — often documenting my own mistakes — and many people just want to tell their stories to an unbiased stranger who doesn’t know anybody involved. I often get the idea that these hurting people know what they need to do, but it makes them feel better to tell me.
I don’t have time to respond to most of these emails, but I often find myself wishing I could sit down with these women — they’re almost always women — and talk with them for an hour or so. What most of them seem to need to hear is simple: “He’s almost certainly not going to change. Not now. Not next year. Never, no matter what he says when he’s scared that he’s about to lose you.”