{"id":29396,"date":"2019-07-03T22:23:57","date_gmt":"2019-07-04T03:23:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=29396"},"modified":"2019-07-03T22:23:57","modified_gmt":"2019-07-04T03:23:57","slug":"briefly-we-keep-making-same-dysfunctional-mistakes-to-reenact-our-past","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=29396","title":{"rendered":"Briefly: We keep making same dysfunctional mistakes to reenact our past"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Repeating-patterns.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-29397\" src=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Repeating-patterns.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"259\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Repeating-patterns.jpg 460w, https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Repeating-patterns-300x169.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 460px) 100vw, 460px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Why do we do negative things which we don\u2019t want to do? Why do we repeat patterns in our lives that we desperately want to break? Psychologist Erin Leonard says it\u2019s because we have an unconscious tendency to engage in \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/peaceful-parenting\/201906\/why-we-behave-in-ways-we-dont-cant-seem-change\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">reenactments<\/a>\u201d of things from our past. Writing for Psychology Today, Leonard says we\u2019re unconsciously drawn to things that are familiar. This leaves us engaging in relationships \u2014 over and over \u2014 with people who have characteristics which we consciously want to avoid, but which mirror something from our past relationships. We\u2019re drawn to people and situations that allow us to relive things from our past. I\u2019ve seen this in my own life and I suspect it\u2019s because we\u2019re trying \u2014 without realizing it \u2014 to relive a particular dynamic in a way that we believe will allow us to have a different outcome than the one from the past. But that normally just means choosing the same sort of person \u2014 someone who will hurt us or abandon us or abuse us. We believe we are making rational, conscious decisions for ourselves, but we\u2019re often simply following an old script. Breaking free is difficult, and it requires a lot of courage to change.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why do we do negative things which we don\u2019t want to do? Why do we repeat patterns in our lives that we desperately want to break? Psychologist Erin Leonard says it\u2019s because we have an unconscious tendency to engage in \u201creenactments\u201d of things from our past. Writing for Psychology Today, Leonard says we\u2019re unconsciously drawn <a href=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=29396\" class=\"more-link\">Keep Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[556],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29396","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-briefly","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1x9iR-7E8","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29396","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=29396"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29396\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29398,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29396\/revisions\/29398"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=29396"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=29396"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=29396"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}