{"id":35185,"date":"2021-10-31T00:32:10","date_gmt":"2021-10-31T05:32:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=35185"},"modified":"2021-10-31T00:32:10","modified_gmt":"2021-10-31T05:32:10","slug":"audio-i-might-not-love-you-if-i-dont-imagine-that-youre-perfect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=35185","title":{"rendered":"AUDIO: I might not love you if I don\u2019t imagine that you\u2019re perfect"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Are-you-perfect-enough.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-35190\" src=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Are-you-perfect-enough.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"259\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Are-you-perfect-enough.jpg 920w, https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Are-you-perfect-enough-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Are-you-perfect-enough-768x432.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 460px) 100vw, 460px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Personal growth can be painful. I don\u2019t recall a single time when I\u2019ve experienced psychological growth from moments of triumph and success. My growth has always come from profound moments of self-understanding \u2014 and those have tended to come from painful insights about my mistakes and failures.<\/p>\n<p>I had another one of those uncomfortable moments this morning. I woke up thinking about a dream I had about a woman I once dated. That\u2019s her above. Something disturbing hit me that I\u2019ve been thinking about all day.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve always had impossibly high standards for myself. The fact that I couldn\u2019t be perfect made any slight error I made feel like failure. My imperfections made me feel worthless. I\u2019ve been trying to deal with that perfectionism for a long time.<\/p>\n<p>What I hadn\u2019t realized until today was that I\u2019ve unconsciously applied the same standards to the women I\u2019ve loved. This has warped my view of these women.<\/p>\n<p>Tap or click below to hear what I\u2019ve been thinking about this.<!--more--><\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-35185-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Journal-experiment-4.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Journal-experiment-4.m4a\">https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Journal-experiment-4.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Personal growth can be painful. I don\u2019t recall a single time when I\u2019ve experienced psychological growth from moments of triumph and success. My growth has always come from profound moments of self-understanding \u2014 and those have tended to come from painful insights about my mistakes and failures. I had another one of those uncomfortable moments <a href=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=35185\" class=\"more-link\">Keep Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-35185","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"entry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1x9iR-99v","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35185","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35185"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35185\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35195,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35185\/revisions\/35195"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35185"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=35185"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=35185"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}