{"id":37321,"date":"2023-09-06T22:09:53","date_gmt":"2023-09-07T03:09:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=37321"},"modified":"2023-09-06T22:09:53","modified_gmt":"2023-09-07T03:09:53","slug":"my-fathers-narcissistic-control-left-me-resentful-of-all-authority","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=37321","title":{"rendered":"My father\u2019s narcissistic control left me resentful of all authority"},"content":{"rendered":"

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At every stage of my life, I\u2019ve raged against authority \u2014 because my father made me so terrified of being controlled \u2014 but I\u2019ve also begged for someone to give me permission to pursue what I wanted.<\/p>\n

I needed some authority\u2019s approval and permission, but I was angry that I didn\u2019t feel as though I could just stand on my own. Every time I\u2019ve wanted to throw myself into some project \u2014 such as a new business \u2014 I\u2019ve felt as though I was paralyzed \u2014 until someone gave me permission.<\/p>\n

After all these years, I\u2019ve still been unconsciously waiting for my father to give me permission to be myself.<\/p>\n

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel<\/a> to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or can can watch this video below.<\/p>\n