{"id":37336,"date":"2023-09-11T00:31:55","date_gmt":"2023-09-11T05:31:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=37336"},"modified":"2023-09-11T00:31:55","modified_gmt":"2023-09-11T05:31:55","slug":"if-you-start-sharing-your-abuse-some-will-tell-you-to-get-over-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=37336","title":{"rendered":"If you start sharing your abuse, some will tell you to \u2018get over it\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Giving unsolicited advice is controlling behavior, whether people realize it or not. Those who give such advice might tell you they\u2019re just trying to be helpful, but it\u2019s controlling and it\u2019s arrogant. It says, \u201cI know more than you do \u2014 and you should do what I think is right.\u201d Most of the time when you try to tell others what they ought to do, you\u2019re wrong about much of what you say, simply because you don\u2019t know enough about other people\u2019s lives to know all of the details of their situations. When people vent about certain things in their lives \u2014 whether it\u2019s in person or on social media \u2014 they\u2019re not necessarily looking for you to solve their problems.<\/p>\n

They\u2019re looking for some empathy and understanding. And if they want advice, they\u2019ll ask. If you\u2019re not sure whether they\u2019re open to advice, ask. But don\u2019t go blindly telling people what they ought to do. That\u2019s arrogant and it\u2019s ignorant. (No, I\u2019m not giving unsolicited advice to anybody. I\u2019m not giving advice to any particular person. I\u2019m just begging you to treat other people better.)<\/p>\n

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel<\/a> to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or you can watch this video below.<\/p>\n