{"id":37399,"date":"2023-09-27T21:32:27","date_gmt":"2023-09-28T02:32:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=37399"},"modified":"2023-09-27T21:32:27","modified_gmt":"2023-09-28T02:32:27","slug":"narcissists-teach-their-victims-they-arent-allowed-to-have-needs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=37399","title":{"rendered":"Narcissists teach their victims they aren\u2019t allowed to have needs"},"content":{"rendered":"

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The narcissists in our lives might tell us how much they love us. When they\u2019re in the right moods, they might tell us that they want to take care of us and they might tell us how important we are to them. My father said those things at times, too. But I knew from his actions that he didn\u2019t care. I knew he didn\u2019t pay attention to my fears or my needs. He just wanted to feel good about himself. His own needs were all he really cared about.<\/p>\n

For those of us who have learned to keep our needs to ourselves, it\u2019s hard to change. It\u2019s hard to accept that it\u2019s OK to have needs. But I\u2019m not sure that we can have healthy and loving relationships with others unless we learn to accept our needs and learn to accept help when it\u2019s appropriate.<\/p>\n

Narcissists taught us that we\u2019re not supposed to have needs, but we have to learn to accept the truth \u2014 that it\u2019s perfectly OK for us to have needs and that if we find the right people to be in our lives, there will be others who care about our needs and fears.<\/p>\n

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel<\/a> to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or you can watch the most recent video below.<\/p>\n