{"id":37544,"date":"2024-05-15T23:01:10","date_gmt":"2024-05-16T04:01:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=37544"},"modified":"2024-05-15T23:05:31","modified_gmt":"2024-05-16T04:05:31","slug":"if-youre-scared-of-being-bad-manipulated-praise-relieves-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=37544","title":{"rendered":"If you\u2019re scared of being \u2018bad,\u2019 manipulated praise relieves fear"},"content":{"rendered":"

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I consciously realized last night that I use manufactured praise to save myself from my fear of being bad and inadequate. If I can manipulate people into praising me, that gives me temporary relief from my fear of not being good enough.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s a pretty brutal realization. I think I already knew it, but I hadn\u2019t quite put it into words like that. Not consciously. But as soon as I did, I recognized the pattern that I learned from my father.<\/p>\n

A narcissist desperately seeks what is called \u201cnarcissistic supply\u201d \u2014 and my father taught me to do something that was pretty much identical to what he did.<\/p>\n

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel<\/a> to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in reaching others with the videos.) Or you can watch the most recent video below.<\/p>\n