{"id":38314,"date":"2026-01-11T23:45:04","date_gmt":"2026-01-12T05:45:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=38314"},"modified":"2026-01-11T23:45:04","modified_gmt":"2026-01-12T05:45:04","slug":"after-years-of-wasting-my-life-sands-of-time-are-slipping-away","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=38314","title":{"rendered":"After years of wasting my life, sands of time are slipping away"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always thought I had plenty of time.<\/p>\n

No matter what happened to me, I had plenty of time to change things. I had plenty of time to try again. Plenty of time to fix my mistakes.<\/p>\n

When I became managing editor of a small daily newspaper while I was still just 21 years old, I thought I was way ahead of schedule. I had plenty of time and I was going to live up to my potential. I was going to do great things.<\/p>\n

When I started my own newspaper company in my late 20s, I was pleased with myself. But then my company failed by the time I was 30. But I still had plenty of time.<\/p>\n

When I became a political consultant a few years later, I thought I was finally on track. Surely this was where I would make my mark. I was going to be someone important.<\/p>\n

Politics led to a high income, but nothing of importance. I wasted 20 years. I ended up divorced. I had nothing to show for my life yet. But I still had plenty of time.<\/p>\n

And so things rolled along. I almost married someone who I thought was the love of my life a few years later, but I chose poorly at a critical time. I lost her. But I still had plenty of time.<\/p>\n

I could still find my creative purpose. I could still marry the right woman. I could still have loving and happy children. I still had plenty of time.<\/p>\n

The years after that seem empty. I quit politics \u2014 with nothing to show for 20 years of effort. I was alone and confused and unhappy. But I had time to start all over again. There was plenty of time.<\/p>\n

I found love again, but I lost love again. I made a living but never quite found the right purpose. I didn’t make the films I had dreamed of making. I didn’t write the books I had planned to write. I didn’t seem to do much of anything that mattered.<\/p>\n

I came up with plans. I tried a few things. I refocused my efforts at times, but then I let things slip away. I was a real estate broker by now. It was nothing but a way to make a living, though. I had no family. I had a dog and cats, but nobody else.<\/p>\n

And suddenly, it no longer felt as though I had plenty of time.<\/p>\n

I don’t feel old. I’m not quitting. I’m not giving up. But the time seems shorter than it once did. Where was the family I had wanted to build? Where was the wife I wanted to love? Why couldn’t I seem to make a difference in the world?<\/p>\n

For the first time in my life, it feels as though time is slipping away. I don’t have all the years to waste that I once seemed to have. I expect to live a long time \u2014 decades, not just a few years \u2014 but am I finally going to find the love and purpose and meaning that I’ve been expecting?<\/p>\n

Maybe I’m in denial, but I do still think I’ll find the things I’ve always needed. I’m more emotionally healthy than I’ve ever been. I’m more clear now than I’ve ever been about what I need to say to the world. I’m more confident than ever that I can change lives \u2014 not change the entire world, but at least change a few lives.<\/p>\n

But I no longer have unlimited time. The sands are running through that hourglass far too quickly. And the decisions I make \u2014 very soon, not years from now \u2014 are going to determine whether my remaining life is filled with love and purpose. Or if I’ll waste those years, too.<\/p>\n

I love this life far too much to waste what’s left of it. I can’t change some of my past mistakes, but I can change things starting this year \u2014 because I no longer have plenty of time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve always thought I had plenty of time. No matter what happened to me, I had plenty of time to change things. I had plenty of time to try again. Plenty of time to fix my mistakes. When I became managing editor of a small daily newspaper while I was still just 21 years old, Keep Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-38314","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"entry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1x9iR-9XY","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38314","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=38314"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38314\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38322,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38314\/revisions\/38322"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=38314"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=38314"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=38314"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}