{"id":39024,"date":"2026-04-04T02:51:56","date_gmt":"2026-04-04T07:51:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=39024"},"modified":"2026-04-04T02:55:17","modified_gmt":"2026-04-04T07:55:17","slug":"creating-work-that-im-proud-of-gives-me-elusive-feelings-of-joy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=39024","title":{"rendered":"Creating work that I\u2019m proud of gives me elusive feelings of joy"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It was 6:30 a.m. when I stepped outside after being awake all night.<\/p>\n

I had been writing \u2014 moving from one idea to another \u2014 creating bits and pieces of things that mostly aren\u2019t ready to be published. Some of it had been for a book. Some had been for YouTube videos. Some had been for film projects. And part of it was for a ridiculous parody ad<\/a> that I\u2019ll use as a minor piece of a video.<\/p>\n

Most of what I create isn\u2019t great. Some of it is mediocre. Some of it never sees the light of day. But every now and then, something clicks and I\u2019m able to make something really good. And when that happens, I know it.<\/p>\n

As I stepped onto my front steps, the light breeze and gentle warmth outside were perfect. I looked above me to a beautiful moon peeking through partly cloudy skies.<\/p>\n

Everything felt right. I was exhausted after working all night. But I felt alive.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve felt this before. Not often. Not nearly as often as I\u2019d like. But enough times to recognize it when it shows up.<\/p>\n

It happens only when I\u2019ve created something that I know \u2014 with complete certainty \u2014 is good.<\/p>\n

When I was a newspaper editor and publisher, there were times when I created something for a newspaper that I was especially proud of.<\/p>\n

On those nights, I couldn\u2019t sleep. Not because of stress, but because I couldn\u2019t wait to see how people would respond.<\/p>\n

I sometimes stayed awake all night \u2014 admiring what I had made that had just been printed \u2014 just waiting until morning, when I could go out into public to observe people looking at what I had given them.<\/p>\n

On those days, I would often go to popular breakfast spots just to listen to people talking about the morning newspaper. The people around me didn\u2019t know who I was, so I was able to listen to them \u2014 and feel that sense of pride when those people loved what I had done.<\/p>\n

They didn\u2019t know me. But I felt exhilarated when they “got it.”<\/p>\n

I felt the same thing the first time I experienced an audience watching the short film I made nearly 20 years ago at the Sidewalk Film Festival in Birmingham.<\/p>\n

I was nervous. Would they think it was funny? Would they laugh? Or would there be awkward silence?<\/p>\n

The audience was polite and reserved during the two or three films before mine. But when my film started playing, people laughed in all the right places. They stayed with it. They understood it. There was enthusiastic clapping during the credits.<\/p>\n

As I left the theater, I felt as though I was about 10 feet off the ground.<\/p>\n

They got it.<\/p>\n

A former romantic partner who knew me well used to say that no matter what I chose to do in life, I always needed something that would supply \u201cthe applause factor.\u201d<\/p>\n

She wasn\u2019t being critical. She just understood something about me. And she was right.<\/p>\n

When I\u2019ve done something that I love, I\u2019m hungry for an appreciative audience. I need people to see or read or hear whatever I\u2019ve made. I need to feel as though others \u2014 especially people I care about \u2014 understand it and appreciate it.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not enough for me to create something I love. I need someone else to see it the way I see it. I need someone to get it.<\/p>\n

None of the work that I did last night that left me feeling this way will bring me a nickel of income. In fact, most of it will cost me in one form or another.<\/p>\n

But I need to create. I can\u2019t help it. I need to make things.<\/p>\n

Some people chase money in life. Others chase power. And a lot of them don\u2019t seem to have anything they\u2019re chasing other than short-term pleasure.<\/p>\n

But I live for those moments when I have given everything I have to an idea and I\u2019ve somehow crafted it into something which I know is good \u2014 something I love.<\/p>\n

And then \u2014 if I\u2019m lucky \u2014 someone else sees that, too.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have a word for what that is. I just know that I feel alive on those rare occasions when I feel it.<\/p>\n

I want to love my work. And I want you to love my work, too. Because when you do, it feels like something more than appreciation.<\/p>\n

It feels like connection.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It was 6:30 a.m. when I stepped outside after being awake all night. I had been writing \u2014 moving from one idea to another \u2014 creating bits and pieces of things that mostly aren\u2019t ready to be published. Some of it had been for a book. Some had been for YouTube videos. Some had been Keep Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39024","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-uncategorized","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1x9iR-a9q","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39024","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=39024"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39024\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39044,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39024\/revisions\/39044"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=39024"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=39024"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=39024"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}