{"id":8706,"date":"2011-12-23T12:41:07","date_gmt":"2011-12-23T18:41:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.davidmcelroy.org\/?p=8706"},"modified":"2011-12-23T12:47:43","modified_gmt":"2011-12-23T18:47:43","slug":"friday-funnies-christmas-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/?p=8706","title":{"rendered":"FRIDAY FUNNIES (for Christmas)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The Bible tells us that wise men came to visit the newborn Jesus, but it doesn&#8217;t say how many there were. So why is it that we popularly hear of three wise men visiting? Well, it turns out the fourth has been lost to history because his gift was completely unacceptable.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Fourth-wise-man.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8707\" title=\"Fourth wise man\" src=\"http:\/\/www.davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Fourth-wise-man.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"611\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Fourth-wise-man.gif 460w, https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Fourth-wise-man-225x300.gif 225w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 460px) 100vw, 460px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><!--more-->As Christmas has been drawing closer, a secret cabal of evil villains has been working on a plan to loot Santa&#8217;s toy operation before the big night gets here. As far as we know, Frosty never talked.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Talk-snowman.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8711\" title=\"Talk, snowman\" src=\"http:\/\/www.davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Talk-snowman.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"459\" height=\"569\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Talk-snowman.jpg 459w, https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Talk-snowman-242x300.jpg 242w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 459px) 100vw, 459px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Things have gotten far easier for the reindeer this year. The addition of a new lawyer to negotiate their contract &#8212; while Mrs. Claus represented Santa &#8212; turned out to be quite a good investment.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Reindeers-new-contract.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8709\" title=\"Reindeer's new contract\" src=\"http:\/\/www.davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Reindeers-new-contract.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"458\" height=\"329\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Reindeers-new-contract.jpg 458w, https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Reindeers-new-contract-300x215.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 458px) 100vw, 458px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Another little-known secret of Santa&#8217;s work is that he always travels with a spare deer, just in case of emergencies.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Spare-deer.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8710\" title=\"Spare deer\" src=\"http:\/\/www.davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Spare-deer.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"459\" height=\"612\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Spare-deer.gif 459w, https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Spare-deer-225x300.gif 225w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 459px) 100vw, 459px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>And, finally, modern children have come a long way since the days when previous generations were happy use to have a new ball or some pairs of socks. Some kids &#8212; future politicians, no doubt &#8212; have learned to play hardball very early.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Blackmailing-Santa.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8708\" title=\"Blackmailing Santa\" src=\"http:\/\/www.davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Blackmailing-Santa.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"459\" height=\"580\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Blackmailing-Santa.jpg 459w, https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Blackmailing-Santa-237x300.jpg 237w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 459px) 100vw, 459px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Bible tells us that wise men came to visit the newborn Jesus, but it doesn&#8217;t say how many there were. So why is it that we popularly hear of three wise men visiting? Well, it turns out the fourth has been lost to history because his gift was completely unacceptable.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8706","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-uncategorized","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1x9iR-2gq","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8706","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8706"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8706\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8716,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8706\/revisions\/8716"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8706"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8706"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcelroy.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8706"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}