Briefly

Molly woke up suddenly Tuesday morning and realized that I was close to her. She was instantly in what I call “feral mode.” She was afraid she might be in danger, despite the fact she’s been safe and well-fed in my home for 11 years. I caught this photo of her worried expression and posted it on social media. One of my friends who has a deep personal interest in the effects of abuse on humans had a reaction similar to what I’ve thought: “I wonder if that response is similar to the heightened state of alert that people with [a history of abuse] experience,” he wrote. I see a strong similarity between feral animals and abused people. Both can heal and change, but it takes time — and it requires us to be patient. After Molly’s last daughter died a couple of weeks ago, she spent nearly a week letting me touch her, which was unprecedented. She’s pulled away again, but the progress made my heart happy. It takes a long time to earn trust. If a feral animal or human with a history of abuse ever really trusts you, you’re being given a great honor. (I wrote something longer about this three years ago.)

I had something I wanted to write about tonight, but as I tried to write it, I realized this is something I need to talk about instead. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s too personal. It’s hard to say. I decided about 90 minutes ago to record video instead of writing it, but I am finding every excuse in the world to put it off. I don’t look good enough to do video tonight. I’m tired. I need sleep. I ought to shave first. Maybe I should wait until next week. Or next month. Whatever. I’m good at delaying what I ought to do. I’ve been needing to do more video — and this is something I want to talk about with you directly — so I need to force myself to follow through. So if I haven’t posted a video in the next 24 hours or so, how about asking me where it is? Light a fire under me. I need somebody to hold me accountable. (Well, about a lot of things.) Call or email me, but don’t let me off the hook. Please?

My company has been working on an office renovation for months and we’re close to actual construction. I have been shocked at how much time and wasted effort is involved in the compliance process to get permits from various government agencies just to make upgrades on our own building. You would think the politicians own the building, because they’re the ones driving many of the decisions. Our building owner keeps having to write checks to government bureaucrats for permission to work on the building which he allegedly owns. If you can’t do as you please with your own property, can you really say you own it?