Personal growth can be painful. I don’t recall a single time when I’ve experienced psychological growth from moments of triumph and success. My growth has always come from profound moments of self-understanding — and those have tended to come from painful insights about my mistakes and failures.
I had another one of those uncomfortable moments this morning. I woke up thinking about a dream I had about a woman I once dated. That’s her above. Something disturbing hit me that I’ve been thinking about all day.
I’ve always had impossibly high standards for myself. The fact that I couldn’t be perfect made any slight error I made feel like failure. My imperfections made me feel worthless. I’ve been trying to deal with that perfectionism for a long time.
What I hadn’t realized until today was that I’ve unconsciously applied the same standards to the women I’ve loved. This has warped my view of these women.
Tap or click below to hear what I’ve been thinking about this. Keep Reading

The cesspool is deep and toxic, but I’m to blame if I remain there
My old fear of looking foolish is strong incentive to do good work
Changes are destroying culture, but we can build beautiful dream
God may be working on what we need long before we can see it
National LP official: ‘It’s gotta be Romney, there is no choice’
‘Vote iPhone in 2012’: Let’s bring democracy to the phone world
Obama channeling Heinlein’s ghost: ‘…we’ve had a run of bad luck’
Putin’s Russia: Friends, enemies or just another basket case state?