When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

Being disconnected from love as close to hell as we’ll find on Earth
Emotional wounds in me quickly spot those with similar wounds
I support MLK’s original goals, but not what his birthday represents
My future plans are solid, but intuition says prepare for change
I’m terribly sorry to break it to you, but straw polls mean nothing
‘Metaverse’ future seems easy, but humans thrive on challenge
If you want life outside of hatred, get away from political cesspool
Pursuing transcendent meaning is rebellion against modern culture
What makes good science fiction? Aya Katz and I discuss ‘Podkayne’