When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Bessie, the beautiful girl who’s still scared
How much of what we do is driven by our unconscious social scripts?
France’s new Socialist president wants same things Obama does
THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Sonny, a sweet boy who needs a home
Defense mechanism led me to repress unacceptable emotions
Confirmation bias means most of us assume our opponents are ‘morans’
If foreigner had killed 16 Americans, we wouldn’t be looking for excuses
She took an easy way to escape risk, but she’s left to deal with empty life
Powerful emotions come and go, so it’s worth noting if one stays