When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

My ideal woman will never exist, but I keep falling in love with her
Why is it ‘isolationism’ to oppose killing those who didn’t attack us?
I need a romantic partner who’s already facing her inner demons
If you cherish the things you love, never take loved ones for granted
‘War is the health of the state’ — but the death of the people who serve it
Being loved is one of life’s gifts, but joy of loving is even greater
Ghost from my past haunts me, but leaves me without answers
Collectivists think they’re doing us favors as they force herd to follow