When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

Wait, was she flirting with me? My history shows I’m clueless
Inner peace requires breaking free of your failed defense mechanisms
With millions jobless, U.S. companies struggle to find skilled workers
What if writing from the ‘AI me’ sounds just like I’d written it?
Tell me the music you listen to and that’ll reveal quite a bit about you
Time and maturity have changed
Best years of our lives? For me, teen years were start of feeling like alien
Our contradictory beliefs lead to irrational views, foolish decisions
Egypt trying to prove democracy means tyranny of the majority