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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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David McElroy

Briefly: Artifacts from childhood can remind us where we came from

By David McElroy · July 30, 2019

It’s hard to believe that any book could have ever cost just 25 cents, much less one that could have survived since I was a tiny boy. I’m sometimes surprised by which things from my childhood have managed to stay with me for all these years, but I’m not surprised to still have “Good Night, Little Bear.” When I was the tiniest of little boys, this was my favorite book. I’m told that I used to carry it around with me. Everybody around me got tired of reading this story, but I asked for it over and over again. I was delighted by the question of whether the little bear was fooling Papa Bear. The story tickled my little brain with the concept of how people could fool one another but without the malice involved in lying. I think everybody can connect a little bit more with the child he or she once was by being able to touch and re-experience such things from their past. Such artifacts tell us a lot about where we came from and how we became what we are. This is something from childhood which makes me happy.

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Filed Under: Briefly

I can force child to obey me, but obedience comes with high cost

By David McElroy · July 29, 2019

I don’t see how anyone can have a child without feeling terrified.

When you create a new human life, you are having the spirit and health and future of a completely independent person put into your hands. Even if your intentions are good, you can do long-term damage to the child.

You can follow the best advice you can find — from your family and friends and experts of the day — and still get it wrong in ways that leave someone hurt for life. No matter what you do, many people won’t approve of your parenting. If all this doesn’t terrify you, I’m not sure you ought to have a child.

When I was younger, I was scared to have children. When I was married in my late 20s and 30s, I didn’t feel ready. I didn’t quite know why, but I understand now that something in me was afraid of continuing the family patterns that had come down from the families of both of my parents.

Even while I was still struggling to understand my dysfunctional upbringing, I was determined not to do to my children what had been done to me.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: child development, childhood, children, discipline, parenting, psychology

Briefly: I’m really uncomfortable with treating life like a ‘reality TV’ show

By David McElroy · July 28, 2019

A friend of mine got engaged today and she posted a dozen pictures from the proposal. (No, it’s not the one pictured here.) She and her fiancé went to a very remote and picturesque location — which would normally be quiet and deserted — but there was still someone to take a bunch of pictures of this very intimate moment. I seem to be the one who’s out of step with society on this point, but I am very uncomfortable with the degree to which we are turning our private lives into something that looks like “reality TV.” If this is what you want for your life, that’s your business. I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong. But I don’t want to live out my intimate moments for the world to share. I don’t want to be stage-managing the production of my life while I play a part for the world to watch later. If that’s the life you want, that’s your business, but when I am fortunate enough to ask a woman to marry me, it will be a moment of personal connection between that woman and me. The world will not be watching, then or later.

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Filed Under: Briefly

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My Instagram

For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night and was watching traffic through the distortion of the gently falling rain on my car window when I realized that the abstract view I had matched the way I was feeling tonight, so I turned it into a brief abstract video to match my mood.
Get ready for the next great animated Christmas cl Get ready for the next great animated Christmas classic, featuring singing and dancing and danger from Alex, Oliver and Sam. Coming soon to a theater near you. (The funniest part is that if I cared about this as anything more than a Christmas joke, it strikes me as something that could be profitable with the right story development and the right animators.)
Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just wa Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just watched on my way home after showing houses. I didn’t have my camera with me, so these are just iPhone shots. #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
This is what it might look like if the cats and I This is what it might look like if the cats and I were cast in a Wes Anderson film.
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Oliver has been napping in the hanging basket of t Oliver has been napping in the hanging basket of the castle early Friday afternoon. He’s had such an exhausting week that he’s ready for the weekend — when he can finally relax.
I just got home and Alex decided he wanted to rela I just got home and Alex decided he wanted to relax and purr for a few minutes on my arm. Oliver is in the floor below him and is trying to figure out how to steal Alex’s spot.
When I pull into my driveway, the neighbors’ cat, When I pull into my driveway, the neighbors’ cat, Pepper, is typically waiting for me on my porch. This was just a moment ago. I don’t feed her, but it never stops her from pretending that I’m responsible for her sustenance.
Alex is pretty sure that 7:30 a.m. is way too earl Alex is pretty sure that 7:30 a.m. is way too early to get out of bed.
The spring trees in front of the house are a beaut The spring trees in front of the house are a beautiful background for Sam taking a bath in an office window Wednesday evening.
Late Tuesday night, I couldn’t find Sam, so I was Late Tuesday night, I couldn’t find Sam, so I was looking all over the office and bedroom for him. It eventually turned out that I had been walking right by him. He had apparently dragged a dark blue blanket onto the floor and he ws blending into it so well that I didn’t realize he was there until he looked up at me and I saw his eyes.
When I got home just before midnight, Alex was asl When I got home just before midnight, Alex was asleep on top of the castle and he struggled to wake up enough to care that I’d returned.
When I got home Monday evening, Sam let me hold hi When I got home Monday evening, Sam let me hold him while we watched the neighborhood from an office window.
Alex has been sleeping in the hanging basket of th Alex has been sleeping in the hanging basket of the castle Monday afternoon, but he still wants to watch birds outside the office window, so he just lazily turns and watches from his bed.
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Briefly

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

A child having a tantrum understands only one thing: Did I get my way or not? He doesn’t understand the issues involved. He doesn’t understand the reasons that went into a decision. He doesn’t understand any of the things that mature and reasonable adults have to understand in order to live healthy lives. By his reaction to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to strike down his disastrous tariff scheme, Donald Trump shows himself to be — once more — a screaming child having a tantrum. Outside the world of mob bosses who expect to get their way every time, normal adults don’t act this way, but Trump isn’t normal. He’s an angry and vengeful man who has narcissistic personality disorder. And we are in danger as a result. Trump doesn’t understand the legal issues involved in this ruling. He doesn’t understand economics. He doesn’t understand rule of law. He doesn’t understand that he can ever be wrong. All he understands is that he didn’t get his way. And he is now a narcissistic and raging little boy who also happens to hold life-and-death power over most humans on this planet. He’s dangerous — and the system which gives him that power is even more dangerous.

Is it an attempt to blur the gender line between men and women? Or is it some weird tribute to the traditional Scottish kilt? It’s hard to say, but fashion designers keep pushing for men to wear skirts in the last few years. Both men and women in modern fashion seem oddly androgynous, as though it would be offensive for a man to look manly or for a woman to look feminine. A CNN article about the latest fashions from Paris caught my attention Monday and left me wondering about the ugly clothes the designers are hawking. If a man wants to wear a skirt — or a kilt — that’s OK with me, but I’ll stick with a traditional dark suit with a white shirt and tie. (Well, when I’m not wearing t-shirts and sweats, of course.) I always wonder who actually buys the outlandish garb from fashion designers anyway. I would be humiliated to be seen in any of this stuff, but I obviously have no sense of high fashion.

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