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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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FRIDAY FUNNIES

By David McElroy · March 23, 2012

Everyone was excited when God agreed to be a contestant on Jeopardy, but the show lost a lot of suspense after people realized He knew everything. Norman wasn’t happy with this turn of events.

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  • FRIDAY FUNNIES
  • Check out my re-runs if you’d like, because I’m on vacation for a bit
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Child-like play leads to escape from world, but then thoughts of faith

By David McElroy · March 23, 2012

I had a great time Wednesday night playing with a smart and gregarious 4-year-old in the checkout line at Target. I’ve been thinking about it ever since, both because it makes me smile and because it makes me wonder why so many adults lose the child-like qualities that make real play so joyful.

It was a long line for a number of people. There was a problem with the register, so we were stuck for a couple of minutes. The woman in front of me had two little girls with her, and the girls went to the wall beyond the checkout line to wait. Then the oldest of the two called out to her mother, “Mom, the ice here costs $1.99.”

The mother smiled and agreed with her that that’s what the sign said. She told me the girl had been learning how to read and understand prices.

“That’s not a lot of money, is it?” the girl asked in our general direction.

The mother was busy talking to the cashier by then, so I responded by telling her that it would be a lot of money for a piece of gum, but it would not be much money for a car. We talked about the relative value of money and prices, and she seemed to understand a lot more than I would expect for her age.

Sarah is 4. Her mother homeschools her older brother and teaches quite a bit to Sarah that surprised me. By the time we finished our brief discussion of money, she came and showed me letters on the magazines in the checkout line.

“Letters work different from numbers,” she told me confidently, apparently in the belief that no one had ever taught me this. She then started showing me a game she had invented involving matching certain letters with other letters on other magazine covers. I’m not entirely sure I understood the rules of her game, because she was laughing too much as she tried to explain. She might have been making it up as she went, for all I know.

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Another ‘Atlas Shrugged’ moment: ‘Reasonable Profits Board’ proposed

By David McElroy · March 22, 2012

It’s starting to look more and more as though Ayn Rand was a psychic or a prophet, at least when it comes to some economic realities more than 50 years after “Atlas Shrugged” was published.

Last July, I watched a mine operator tell a crowd here in Birmingham that he was quitting because of the attitudes of regulators and the public toward the work he did. Wednesday, I learned that six congressional Democrats are trying to make another part of Rand’s book come true. They’ve proposed a Reasonable Profits Board — to decide how much money oil companies are allowed to profit. The market clearly isn’t good enough for these looters and moochers.

This group of economic illiterates is led by U.S. Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio). They want a board — completely appointed by the president — to set a target for what a “reasonable” profit would be for oil companies. Any profit that’s slightly more than that would be taxed at 50 percent of the “excess profit.” If a company’s profit reached more than 105 percent of the allegedly reasonable profit, 100 percent of the “excess profit” would be taken as a tax. The bill is called the Gas Price Spike Act.

There’s no such thing as a “fair profit” or a “reasonable profit.” Those things are determined by one thing and one thing alone — the price point at which a willing buyer and willing seller can come together. If there’s a profit at that point, the seller has an incentive to produce more of the product. If there’s not a profit, the product isn’t going to be produced, because there’s no incentive. People who naively believe they can regulate profits are simply trying to regulate prices from the other end. It won’t work — and there’s no rational basis on which to decide what is “reasonable.”

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Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
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When I got home a few minutes ago, Alex wanted som When I got home a few minutes ago, Alex wanted some attention. He was purring loudly when I took this.
I’m happy to report that we’ve made it through ano I’m happy to report that we’ve made it through another day without squirrel attacks here at the house — all thanks to Sam’s vigilance.
I just got home and found Alex already starting to I just got home and found Alex already starting to campaign for dinner.
Sam takes his Neighborhood Watch duties far more s Sam takes his Neighborhood Watch duties far more seriously than most cats do, but the fact that the house hasn’t yet been attacked for squirrels is proof that his advanced methods work.
Right around sunset, Sam was in an office window w Right around sunset, Sam was in an office window when Oliver wanted to be there. So Oliver jumped into the window and crowded his little brother as though he was trying to intimidate him. But Sam stood his ground and Oliver eventually gave up and jumped back down — and Sam kept his spot.
Someone was at the house for about an hour to do s Someone was at the house for about an hour to do some work and now that he’s gone, the cats want some reassurance that their space isn’t being invaded.
This photo that I just shot of Sam is one of my fa This photo that I just shot of Sam is one of my favorites of him. I came home at midnight and he was in a front office window watching the dark neighborhood. He’s lit by a light hanging at the top of the window. It’s amazing to me how much different he looks — and how much more confident he acts — than when he got here almost two years ago.
All three cats are in the bedroom with me while I All three cats are in the bedroom with me while I get ready to go out. Alex is in my chair and he seems to think he heard something, but he can’t figure out what his radar might be tracking. When a cat is alert in this way, I think their ears seem like little radar dishes focused on potential prey.
Sam has the window just below the mantle occupied, Sam has the window just below the mantle occupied, so Oliver is perched on the end of the mantle to watch out of the same window Saturday afternoon.
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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