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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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Do you simply hate a status quo? Or do you stand for something?

By David McElroy · June 20, 2012

Most people have no idea what they stand for, but they know very clearly who and what they hate. That makes me very uneasy, because I feel it from people of every political position — and this isn’t the way things ought to be.

When George W. Bush was president, most Democrats hated him far more than they liked any Democrat who might take his place. Since Barack Obama has been president, most Republicans hate him with a passion, but only a tiny percentage of them actually like Mitt Romney, who won the GOP contest to be their standard-bearer. Why is this?

I think part of it is a modern form of tribalism. We like to think of ourselves as past such crude ways of acting, but that’s wishful thinking. If you arbitrarily divide people into a Purple Party and a Yellow Party, both groups will soon develop all sorts of “reasons” why their sides is wonderful and the other is evil and wrong. (And they’ll each declare that their reasons are rational.)

Beyond that, though, I suspect there’s another very important reason. It’s simply easier to feel and express hate than it is to articulate something good and find the character to stand for that instead of the hate.

Anybody who’s ever done anything politically related has pandered to this hatred at times, even if they’d rather not admit it. Campaigns pander to partisan hate all the time, but in ways that make it seem safe and reasonable. When I was working in politics, that was the real basis of what I did. Yes, there were times when we talked about positive things — and I actually liked doing that — but I knew that those things didn’t get the votes.

The things that got votes were the things that reminded people of the things they hate — and connected that to the candidate on the other side. In general, the candidate who most successfully paints his opponent with the things the voters hate is going to win.

Those of us who write about anything political end up pandering to hatred — and I’m guilty of the same thing. Honestly, writing about things that you know are going to anger people and push their buttons is a much better way to get readership than it is to talk about positive things that matter. People are excited to talk about tearing down what they hate, because that’s not hard. They can see how to do that. What’s they’re not so willing to do is the difficult thinking about how to build the world they prefer.

I have more than 3,000 Facebook friends now, and I like to browse through the opinions being expressed there because it gives me an idea of what people are thinking and feeling. I have people of all sorts of political beliefs among my friends. When I scroll through what they’re saying, I find that most are yelling about how terrible “the other side” is. Every group seems to hate another group (or two).

As long as we’re hating, we don’t really have much room to have passion for the things we love. Hate pushes out love, and vice versa.

It’s a good thing to know what you’re opposed to, because it provides a contrast so you can know what’s off-course. But if you let yourself get bogged down in hating what already is, you’re not building a replacement. Your eyes are pretty much totally on the object of your hatred. Your passion and time and money go toward defeating what you hate. You have nothing left over for building positive things.

I’m not going to tell you what you should stand for. We all have things we believe in — things that we believe are good and worth living for. But what I am going to tell you is that standing for something good will make you a happier person than fighting with the things you hate.

Try making a shift in your thinking and feeling — from hate to something positive. I think you’ll be surprised. It might or might not make a difference in the world around you, but it will certainly make a difference on the inside of you.

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This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night and was watching traffic through the distortion of the gently falling rain on my car window when I realized that the abstract view I had matched the way I was feeling tonight, so I turned it into a brief abstract video to match my mood.
Get ready for the next great animated Christmas cl Get ready for the next great animated Christmas classic, featuring singing and dancing and danger from Alex, Oliver and Sam. Coming soon to a theater near you. (The funniest part is that if I cared about this as anything more than a Christmas joke, it strikes me as something that could be profitable with the right story development and the right animators.)
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It’s after 4 a.m. and Sam is still hanging out wit It’s after 4 a.m. and Sam is still hanging out with me in the bedroom. Alex and Oliver are already asleep in the office. It’s unusual for this little former feral to be the one continuing to keep me company when the others have already left the room.
I’ve been on the phone for the last couple of hour I’ve been on the phone for the last couple of hours and the house was completely quiet when I ended the call. I discovered all three of the cats sound asleep in the office. Alex woke up enough to see if I was bringing anything for him, but neither Oliver nor Sam even stirred.
For a long time, Sam found it impossible to relax For a long time, Sam found it impossible to relax like this in my arms. Even now, he would rather lie on the bed than on me, but it’s satisfying to see him learn to trust me enough to stretch out and relax. I’ve had a few feral cats in the past who never got even this far on the road to complete trust.
When I got back home just after 1 a.m., I found th When I got back home just after 1 a.m., I found that Alex hadn’t waited up for me. He roused himself just enough to give this enormous yawn and then he was back to sleep. It’s a good thing I know he isn’t going to use those teeth on me. He could be dangerous.
I just caught Sam spying on me from across the roo I just caught Sam spying on me from across the room as he peeks over the edge of the bed.
We’re having one more slightly cool day and Alex i We’re having one more slightly cool day and Alex is spending the afternoon on the heated pad as a result. Since you can see the CritterCam on the left side of the frame, I’ll include the angle that camera sees, too.
It’s been six months since I lost Lucy. I like to It’s been six months since I lost Lucy. I like to believe she’s patiently waiting at the gates of heaven — ready for the reunion when I meet her again one day.

I still think about this sweet and faithful companion every single day. If you’ve ever had a dog who you loved, you’ll understand.

When I put the key into my front door when I return home each day, part of me still waits to hear the sound of her tail hitting the door as she realizes I’ve returned.

When I get up in the morning, part of me still feels compelled to get her leash and take her for the first walk of the day — something she loved so much. At night, part of me wants to take her for one last walk before bed, because each walk made her so happy.

But I can’t do those things, because the World’s Happiest Dog isn’t here anymore.

I no longer have an excited companion every time I go on a short trip in the car. I no longer have a sweet and beautiful girl who looks at me with love and adoration every day. I no longer have someone who wants to lie at my feet as I work at my desk.

It’s a privilege to be trusted with the life and well-being of a dog. It’s an honor to win the love and affection of such a companion. And the truth is that some of them are more special to us than others. For me, Lucy was one of those.

I don’t have any insight into the theology surrounding animals in the afterlife, but I like to believe they’re there, too.

Because if Lucy isn’t there when I die — and if some of my other dearly loved dogs and cats aren’t there — I’m not sure we could really call it heaven.

I miss you, Lucy. Wherever you are, I like to think you miss me, too.

And I like to think I’ll see you again one of these days.
Oliver and Alex have been chasing each other aroun Oliver and Alex have been chasing each other around the bedroom and office for much of the evening. As Alex walks across the bedroom, he doesn’t seem aware that Oliver is still tracking him. Right after this, Oliver pounced on him and the chase was on once again.
Sam is a lot more willing to tolerate me now than Sam is a lot more willing to tolerate me now than he was when he first came in from the street about 18 months ago.
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