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David McElroy

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Do you simply hate a status quo? Or do you stand for something?

By David McElroy · June 20, 2012

Most people have no idea what they stand for, but they know very clearly who and what they hate. That makes me very uneasy, because I feel it from people of every political position — and this isn’t the way things ought to be.

When George W. Bush was president, most Democrats hated him far more than they liked any Democrat who might take his place. Since Barack Obama has been president, most Republicans hate him with a passion, but only a tiny percentage of them actually like Mitt Romney, who won the GOP contest to be their standard-bearer. Why is this?

I think part of it is a modern form of tribalism. We like to think of ourselves as past such crude ways of acting, but that’s wishful thinking. If you arbitrarily divide people into a Purple Party and a Yellow Party, both groups will soon develop all sorts of “reasons” why their sides is wonderful and the other is evil and wrong. (And they’ll each declare that their reasons are rational.)

Beyond that, though, I suspect there’s another very important reason. It’s simply easier to feel and express hate than it is to articulate something good and find the character to stand for that instead of the hate.

Anybody who’s ever done anything politically related has pandered to this hatred at times, even if they’d rather not admit it. Campaigns pander to partisan hate all the time, but in ways that make it seem safe and reasonable. When I was working in politics, that was the real basis of what I did. Yes, there were times when we talked about positive things — and I actually liked doing that — but I knew that those things didn’t get the votes.

The things that got votes were the things that reminded people of the things they hate — and connected that to the candidate on the other side. In general, the candidate who most successfully paints his opponent with the things the voters hate is going to win.

Those of us who write about anything political end up pandering to hatred — and I’m guilty of the same thing. Honestly, writing about things that you know are going to anger people and push their buttons is a much better way to get readership than it is to talk about positive things that matter. People are excited to talk about tearing down what they hate, because that’s not hard. They can see how to do that. What’s they’re not so willing to do is the difficult thinking about how to build the world they prefer.

I have more than 3,000 Facebook friends now, and I like to browse through the opinions being expressed there because it gives me an idea of what people are thinking and feeling. I have people of all sorts of political beliefs among my friends. When I scroll through what they’re saying, I find that most are yelling about how terrible “the other side” is. Every group seems to hate another group (or two).

As long as we’re hating, we don’t really have much room to have passion for the things we love. Hate pushes out love, and vice versa.

It’s a good thing to know what you’re opposed to, because it provides a contrast so you can know what’s off-course. But if you let yourself get bogged down in hating what already is, you’re not building a replacement. Your eyes are pretty much totally on the object of your hatred. Your passion and time and money go toward defeating what you hate. You have nothing left over for building positive things.

I’m not going to tell you what you should stand for. We all have things we believe in — things that we believe are good and worth living for. But what I am going to tell you is that standing for something good will make you a happier person than fighting with the things you hate.

Try making a shift in your thinking and feeling — from hate to something positive. I think you’ll be surprised. It might or might not make a difference in the world around you, but it will certainly make a difference on the inside of you.

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As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

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I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a few shots after I got home late Monday night. This one wasn’t great, so I’ll try again later, but I can use it until I have time to shoot another. I was too lazy to light this one properly — and it shows. 😺
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
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Late Wednesday night, Meg is relaxing on the bed w Late Wednesday night, Meg is relaxing on the bed while I write in the bedroom. Every now and then, Oliver cruises by the foot of the bed and she takes off to chase him — then seems to remember that he has “boy cooties” and breaks off the chase. She seems pretty happy to be here as she finishes Day 22 in the house with us.
Just before midnight, Meg is purring in my arms as Just before midnight, Meg is purring in my arms as we hang out together in the bedroom. She’s a photogenic little girl.
Meg is just hanging out in the office on the castl Meg is just hanging out in the office on the castle Tuesday afternoon. That’s Sam on the mantle behind her. Today marks three weeks since she came inside and went to the vet, but it seems as though she’s been here much longer than that.
From the CritterCam: I just checked the webcam as From the CritterCam: I just checked the webcam as I was trying to get to sleep. Alex has firm control of then cat bed, but Oliver seems to be stalking him in an intimidating fashion — which doesn’t seem the least bit intimidating to Alex. Every cat seems certain that he or she deserves exactly what he or she wants. We humans could learn a lot about confidence from felines.
I love how relaxed and confident Meg is when she h I love how relaxed and confident Meg is when she hangs ou in my lap. This is just before midnight Monday night. Tomorrow will mark her third full week with us. I’d say she’s pretty happy with this transition, even if she’s still wary of her brothers some of the time. I actually saw her charge Oliver briefly tonight — and he got out of her way. So she’s learning.
Just before sunset, Meg and I have been spying on Just before sunset, Meg and I have been spying on one of the neighbors who was out in her yard across the street. Meg seems to be quite a natural at this Neighborhood Watch stuff.
From the CritterCam: The webcam on my desk just ca From the CritterCam: The webcam on my desk just caught Sam climbing to the top of my desk at 2:45 a.m. to see whether the cat bed was open, but he found a “no vacancy” sign in the form of a sleeping Alex. I guarantee he’ll be back when Alex moves in a bit. I love watching these guys go back and forth over who gets that little bed.
I was just lying down on the bed Sunday evening wh I was just lying down on the bed Sunday evening when I felt Meg jump onto the bed with me. She was apparently curious what in the world I was doing on the bed this early in the night, so she was coming to investigate.
When I got home late Saturday night, Meg relaxed a When I got home late Saturday night, Meg relaxed and purred in my arms for a few minutes. I love the way she casually relaxes those little mittens when I hold her.
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