Who’s the hero of Chick-fil-A wars? Rachel set an example for all of us

Note: None of the links in this article are active anymore. The dead links remain only as pointers to where the sources originally were back in 2012.

In the battle of the Chick-fil-A boycott, a lot of people came off looking pretty bad this past week — on both sides of the issue. The guy who probably came out worse than anyone is Adam Smith, the Tucson, Ariz., man who drove through a Chick-fil-A drive-through just to record video of an employee while he verbally attacked her.

If Smith is the one who looks the worst — a bully who was fired over his behavior — the one who looked the best for the entire week was Rachel, the young woman he verbally assaulted. Even though Smith was being rude and confrontational, this young woman was polite, firm and composed. After he told her, “I don’t know how you live with yourself and work here,” she didn’t attack. She didn’t get angry.

Instead, Rachel said, “I hope you have a really nice day….”

I’m a lot older than Rachel, but I don’t know if I could have handled it as well as she did. When someone is attacking me — especially for something I have no control over — I sometimes get angry and I want to strike back. Rachel’s example is a better way. It’s not indicative of weakness. It’s indicative of strength to be able to have self-control and remain polite and loving. Many of the people who claimed to be Christians supporting Chick-fil-A this past week would have done well to remember that lesson, both in this case and in the rest of life.

Far too many of us have human reactions and strike back when we’re under attack. When confronted with the way we’re acting, we’re prone to say, “Well he started it. He deserved it.”

That might even be true. Maybe the person did deserve it. Maybe we’re as blameless as we want to believe we are. But maybe a smarter and more mature person is concerned with what he’s trying to achieve in the confrontation, not just in whether the other person deserves something or whether it feels good to lash out.

In the confrontation between Adam Smith and Rachel (whose last name we don’t know), the attacker had all the advantages. He knew he was about to attack. He was the one recording the video. He was smug and confident that he was in the right. Still, he comes across as an arrogant bully. The young woman who’s not prepared comes across looking like the winner. Which approach do you think is worth emulating?

Rachel’s fiancé has set up a blog in her name. (Years later, this is now a dead link.) He offers this transcript of the conversation between Smith and Rachel:

Smith: “You know why I’m getting my free water, right?”
Worker: “No.”
S: “Because Chick-Fil-A is a hateful corporation.”
W: “I disagree. We don’t treat any of our customers differently..”
S: “I know, but the corporation gives money to hate groups. Hate groups. Just because people want to kiss another guy.”
W: “I’m staying neutral on this subject… my personal beliefs don’t belong in the workplace.”
S: “Yeah I believe that too, I don’t believe corporations should be giving money to hateful groups.. I’ll take my water”
W: “I’m really uncomfortable that you’re videotaping this..”
W: “It’s my pleasure to serve you, always.”
S: “Oh of course, I’m glad that I can take a little bit of money from Chick-Fil-A, and maybe less money to hate groups.”
W: “Well we’re always happy to serve all our guests.”
S: “I don’t know how you live with yourself and work here. I don’t understand it. This is a horrible corporation with horrible values. You deserve better.”
W: “I hope you have a really nice day, and..”
S: “I will, I just did something really good, I feel purposeful, thank you so much.”
S: “Have a good day… I’m a nice guy by the way, and I’m totally heterosexual.. not a gay [unintelligible] in me, I just can’t stand the hate, you know? It’s gotta stop, guys. Stand up.”

After Smith was fired for this verbal assault and posting it on YouTube, he finally got around to halfway apologizing to Rachel. (You can see his “apology and clarifications” video below.) Even with what he characterized as an apology, he still had to spend nearly eight minutes in self-justification. If you really want to apologize to someone, you just apologize and save the “clarifications” for some other time, if at all.

Rachel has gotten lots of support, which you’ll see evidence of if you check out the blog her fiancé started. Someone even launched a fund to raise money for her, which had come up with $800 as of Saturday night.

Things haven’t gone so well for Smith. In addition to being fired from his job as chief financial officer for a medical products company, he says he’s being harassed and getting death threats.

And this brings us back to the point that people on both sides of this issue need to get some maturity and scale back the vitriol. For those of us who call ourselves Christians, the man needs to be forgiven and prayed for, not hated and threatened. It’s perfectly appropriate to defend someone who needs defending, but I’d say Rachel did a pretty good job of that all by herself.

It might not be convenient to remember this at times, but we need to love our enemies. Jesus had a few things to say about that, you know:

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”

It might not be the easy way. It might not be the common human way. But even if you don’t care about obeying Jesus’ commands, you need to remember that loving your enemies is the more effective way. Your vitriol might make you feel good for a few minutes, but it’s not going to help you make any friends or make a positive impression on other people for what you believe in. Remember that Adam Smith’s anger actually made his side look worse.

Learn to emulate Rachel on this point. It’s difficult, but it’s worth it.