Let’s quit trying to force others to choose our shopping preferences

By David McElroy · November 23, 2012

I wasn’t out shopping when stores opened for “Black Friday” sales Thursday evening, and I won’t be shopping Friday. I’m uncomfortable with the out-of-control consumerism of our culture — which I’ve written about before — but I don’t care if that’s what you want. The choices you make about material things reflect your values, not mine.

There seem to be increasingly sharp battle lines between those who want to tell you when you should be allowed to shop and those who are eager to get the best deals available. Many people have been angry for a long time that so many people turn the day after Thanksgiving into an orgy of commercialism, but they’re really upset now that stores are opening earlier and earlier — bringing opening times all the way up to 8 p.m. Thursday at Walmart and 9 p.m. at Target. Other stores are opening at similarly early times.

For millions of people, this is a good thing. They wouldn’t line up as they do if they didn’t want to shop. And the random Thanksgiving night shoppers I talked to were thrilled. They said they had long been accustomed to getting up very early Friday morning, and they appreciated being able to do the same shopping Thursday night instead. The folks I talked with at the Target near my house Thursday night seemed like very happy customers.

So why are so many people offended that shoppers are spending their time and money on Thursday night instead of Friday? Why are they so upset that they’re launching campaigns to ask people to pledge not to shop on Thursday?

However you spin it, the campaigns against Thursday night shopping comes down to one simple fact. Most people are eager to convince — or even force — other people to make the same choices they make.

I believe that your choices say a lot about your values. If you’re out there participating in the consumer orgy — whether it’s Thursday night or Friday or some other random day — you’re saying a lot about what you value. But that’s your business, not mine. If you think buying a big television (or whatever) is a big deal — whether you pay the normal lowest price or the special loss-leader Black Friday price — that says a lot about what you and your family think is important. If you show up at a store at a special hour because you can buy your child a bicycle that you otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford, that also says something about what’s important to you. Most examples are somewhere between those, but whatever you’re buying, what you do with your money reflects what you think is important.

We live in a society that values “stuff.” More and more, I don’t value very much stuff. More and more, I want to own less and less. (This has been a long-term trend for me, and it’s something I’ll probably write about again soon.)

But I can’t make the decision for anyone else where to draw the line. Is it too much to fill every room of your house with televisions and DVRs and fancy furniture that you borrowed money to buy? I’d say it’s way too much. But some people might say it’s too much for me to simply own an iPhone 5 and a MacBook Air. To me, they’re very defensible — especially considering they’re about the only things of value I own these days — but to others they would seem like luxuries. I can’t make the decision for you. You can’t make it for me.

What about the argument that you shouldn’t shop on Thursday because “everyone deserves a holiday”? Where is the logic in that assertion? Why does someone magically “deserve” to have that day off? Have you been protesting movie theaters that have been open for decades? Have you launched campaigns to shut down Waffle House and the other random restaurants and gas stations that serve customers on those days? Employees of those stores can decide whether it’s worth it to work on that day. They don’t need you weighing in on their decision.

Look, I understand if you’re offended about people spending money like drunken sailors on things they can’t afford. I think our society’s values about material things are out of whack. But it’s not my business. It’s not my money. It’s not my time. It’s not my values.

It’s time for all of us to quit worrying so much about what others are doing with their time and money, whether it’s Thanksgiving or any other day of the year. It’s not our business.

Share on Social Networks

I’m seeing a lot of simplistic and dishonest explanations right now for the current rioting in France. Those on the populist far right claim it’s all about Muslim immigrants to France disrupting the culture. Their message is that this sort of thing is going to happen in the U.S. unless “we defend the border.” On the far left, socialists and their fellow travelers claim the riots are all about wealthy people in France not paying enough taxes, resulting in cuts to government services. The truth is far more complicated, but it’s rooted in the decline of population growth in Europe. There simply aren’t enough young workers paying into the tax system anymore, so cuts in social services were inevitable. There is genuine cultural tension as more and more people immigrate from other countries, but government cuts to education and other services are even more important to what’s happening. The situation is complicated, so don’t let dishonest people with U.S. political agendas tell you that it happens to support whatever they were already promoting for partisan reasons.

Here’s another reason to appreciate the cats in your life: New research involving 93 countries found that places with more cats per person also tended to have happier people. The researchers say the finding fits with previous evidence that living with pets can reduce loneliness and stress while providing companionship, emotional attachment and social support. The study doesn’t prove that cats cause greater happiness, but it certainly adds to the evidence that sharing your home — and your life — with a cat might be good for you.

The company that owns Facebook and Instagram is heavily promoting its new AI-based software assistant called Muse, but people who are using it as it was designed are incredibly foolish. An early adopter of the software discovered that a few days ago when he advertised an item for sale on Facebook Marketplace — and he inadvertently gave Muse full authority to act on his behalf. The software agreed to a lowball offer made by another Facebook user and then gave that man the home address of the man for whom he was an agent. The software told the buyer that the seller was home and waiting for him. When the buyer showed up and waited angrily, the would-be buyer left an angry review for the man. And this angry man had the seller’s home address. It was only well after that that the software reported what it had done and admitted it had made a mistake. I won’t be putting that much power into the hands of any software. I think anyone who agrees to such terms is a fool. And the software’s user agreement says you’re responsible for purchases the software makes in your name. Nope.

Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

Related Posts