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What evil lives in the heart of man who can kill his wife, kids?

By David McElroy · November 6, 2018

There are days when I have hope for the future of this world, times when I can believe that we will collectively rise above our history and learn to be the loving and rational creatures that we’re capable of becoming.

But today hasn’t been one of those days.

I was already down on the human race for other reasons, but I reached a tipping point this evening when I read about a Colorado man who has confessed to murdering his pregnant wife, Shannon, and their two little girls, Bella and Celeste, who were 4 and 3.

I know that thousands of people die every day. I know that many of them are murdered. But there’s something about seeing this smiling and apparently loving family — and knowing this man could murder those innocent girls — that stabs me in the heart and makes me wonder why God puts up with what his crowning creation — made in his image — have turned into.

I know there are stories like this all the time. I know there always have been. I know that humans do horrible things to each other. But something about this particular story shakes me.

I think it’s because these people seem so much like me. That’s not a very good way to judge the seriousness of a crime, but there’s something about them which makes them seem like people I could know.

With most murders, I can look at the people involved or the circumstances and know those people aren’t like me. I don’t live in an inner-city housing project. I’m not involved in illegal drug transactions. I’m not stupid enough to be friends with crack-heads who are going to rob me. I’m sorry for such victims, but I don’t identify with people in those sorts of circumstances.

But this was an affluent middle-class family whose lives look a lot like what I consider normal. The lives they projected on social media were so happy and normal. They showed a happy mother and father doing happy things with their children — and this might scare me more than anything else.

In almost every case I’m aware of, unhappy people project lies on social media about their lives and their family. In case after case, people’s social media lives are lies. When I know people’s private lives — and I know how much hatred and unhappiness there is behind the scenes — I’m stunned to see those people projecting something so different on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter.

One of the worst-kept secrets of modern life is that millions and millions of people are miserable and their lives are failing apart, but because we live in a media-driven culture where image is everything, we project lies. We project the fantasy which we desperately hope that other people will believe is true.

The few people who are willing to tell the truth about themselves — on social media and often in person — are frequently shunned. Others aren’t comfortable being exposed to the truth of their misery. So people who share about their loneliness or unhappiness or depression often retreat behind a mask, because they quickly get the message that their vulnerability isn’t wanted by anybody.

In this Colorado case, Chris Watts apparently strangled his wife and his two little girls. He then buried his wife, Shannon Watts, in a shallow grave. He dumped his little girls’ bodies into commercial oil tanks.

I know people who appear to be just like this family. I see their pictures on Facebook. I see their shallow projections of happiness. But the lies of social media are just a thin veneer on the ugly unhappiness lurking beneath.

It terrifies me to think how easily this could happen with specific people I know. My heart grows cold when I think of specific people who I think are capable of snapping and doing these sorts of unspeakable things. And I just don’t know how human beings can be like this.

I don’t understand how people continue projecting the lies that they do. I don’t know why people agree to keep living such lies. I don’t see why parents keep their children in such toxic environments, where they’re learning that this is what a family is like — so those children will grow up and bring another generation of misery into the world.

I know I’m projecting a lot from this one awful story, but the truth is that I’m always worried about this sort of thing happening with people I know. We’re all likely to see stories as evidence for what we already believe — and I’m no exception — but I see this as a chilling reminder of what could happen to people I know.

There’s so much that I don’t understand about the way humans live. It stuns me that people happily obey their childhood brainwashing rather than consider whether maybe they might have been taught lies. They never stop to think that maybe their lives need to change and that they need to throw off dysfunctional cultural norms.

I’m terrified by what politicians do, but the obedience and reverence of the unthinking sheep — blindly following their culture’s expectations — terrify me far more then the openly visible evil done by the politicians they select and support.

If aliens came to this planet and put the human race on trial — and they asked me why we deserved to exist as a species — I’m not sure I’d have a good answer.

There are days when I’m optimistic about our future. There are days when I see the good things about us and I see how we can sometimes be loving and creative — how we can grow and become better creatures than we were.

Those are the days when I see more beauty and experience more intelligence and grace and love from certain people. I don’t have enough of those days, but they’re the only ones that make me willing to put up with the ones such as today.

I don’t know what sort of evil could allow a man to kill his wife, but it takes an even deeper level of evil to imagine that a man could murder his own little girls. That chills me in ways that I have trouble explaining.

There is no role in the world that I want more than being a loving and caring husband and father. I cannot imagine any circumstance which could turn me — or any decent person — into this sort of killer.

I grieve for the murdered Shannon Watts. I grieve for murdered Bella and Celeste. I grieve for the unborn baby who will never take his or her first breath.

But most of all, I grieve for the living — for those who will never know these victims — who are living lives of unhappiness that could end up going down the same shocking path.

We humans must learn more emotionally healthy ways to live. Modern society feeds the toxic evil which makes it easier than ever to hide the evil that lies lurking in cold and dishonest hearts.

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Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

My Instagram

It’s too bad Meg can’t relax a little more, huh? I It’s too bad Meg can’t relax a little more, huh? I’m obviously kidding, because this little girl has quite a bit of confidence when she’s hanging out with me — and she has more confidence around the three boys every day, so that makes me happy. She’s been a great addition to the household.
By the time I left the office about 5:30 p.m. Frid By the time I left the office about 5:30 p.m. Friday, some light rain from the approaching hurricane was starting to fall. It’s been completely cloudy in Birmingham all day because of the bands of clouds pushing north from the Gulf of Mexico. About halfway home, I noticed that the sky had suddenly started exhibiting this beautiful orange glow to the west. So even though it was far too cloudy for us to see a real sunset, the light was still colorful enough and bright enough to punch through at the horizon. So I stopped on the Cahaba River bridge on I-459 and caught this quick shot. Within just a couple of minutes, the clouds had covered up the color — and the rain started getting a bit harder. By morning, we should have howling winds and serious thunderstorms. Let’s just hope there are no tornados spawned by this storm in our area.
I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a few shots after I got home late Monday night. This one wasn’t great, so I’ll try again later, but I can use it until I have time to shoot another. I was too lazy to light this one properly — and it shows. 😺
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
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Critter Instagram

From the CritterCam: The webcam happened to catch From the CritterCam: The webcam happened to catch all three of the boys in very similar poses Thursday afternoon. I think they love the heated pad. As far as I know, Meg hasn’t discovered it so far.
The cats and I are hanging out in the Jetsons’ uni The cats and I are hanging out in the Jetsons’ universe tonight and it’s quite a fun place. It was 64 years ago when this show first went on the air. Meg didn’t want to be so close to the boys, so she asked for her own little private cabin for now.
At midnight, Oliver is giving me a chance to make At midnight, Oliver is giving me a chance to make a formal portrait of him on the bed. I love the contrast between his gray fur and the red bedspread in this lighting.
From the CritterCam: As I check the webcam late We From the CritterCam: As I check the webcam late Wednesday afternoon, it looks as though Oliver has a lot on his mind. Either that or he’s watching one of the other cats do something in the floor below. Either way, the intensity on his face amuses me.
Meg has been napping in one of the caves of her ca Meg has been napping in one of the caves of her castle Wednesday afternoon. The three boys are also asleep, so the house is pretty quiet as I work.
At 3 a.m., Alex and Sam are sound asleep together At 3 a.m., Alex and Sam are sound asleep together on the heated pad in the darkened office. I think it’s time for me to take cue from them and get to sleep myself.
From the CritterCam: Alex was on the heated pad Tu From the CritterCam: Alex was on the heated pad Tuesday afternoon when Sam climbed up onto the back of my chair to see whether there was room for him to join Alex. This was the first time I’ve seen more than one of them on the heated pad at the same time this year, but it always happens each year. When it gets cold enough, we’ll see at least three of them on there.
From the CritterCam: I just noticed this image of From the CritterCam: I just noticed this image of Oliver from Monday afternoon when he discovered that the heated pad had returned. He seemed to recognize the scent of it from last year. Alex has hogged the spot for most of the day, but Oliver and Sam have spent some time there, too. Meg doesn’t seem to have found it yet.
From the CritterCam: Alex has spent almost the ent From the CritterCam: Alex has spent almost the entire afternoon on the heated pad since it came out of storage about five hours ago. Oliver stole the spot briefly, but this boy soon had it back. From this spot, he has a good view out of an office window to the side of the house.
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I’m seeing a lot of simplistic and dishonest explanations right now for the current rioting in France. Those on the populist far right claim it’s all about Muslim immigrants to France disrupting the culture. Their message is that this sort of thing is going to happen in the U.S. unless “we defend the border.” On the far left, socialists and their fellow travelers claim the riots are all about wealthy people in France not paying enough taxes, resulting in cuts to government services. The truth is far more complicated, but it’s rooted in the decline of population growth in Europe. There simply aren’t enough young workers paying into the tax system anymore, so cuts in social services were inevitable. There is genuine cultural tension as more and more people immigrate from other countries, but government cuts to education and other services are even more important to what’s happening. The situation is complicated, so don’t let dishonest people with U.S. political agendas tell you that it happens to support whatever they were already promoting for partisan reasons.

Here’s another reason to appreciate the cats in your life: New research involving 93 countries found that places with more cats per person also tended to have happier people. The researchers say the finding fits with previous evidence that living with pets can reduce loneliness and stress while providing companionship, emotional attachment and social support. The study doesn’t prove that cats cause greater happiness, but it certainly adds to the evidence that sharing your home — and your life — with a cat might be good for you.

The company that owns Facebook and Instagram is heavily promoting its new AI-based software assistant called Muse, but people who are using it as it was designed are incredibly foolish. An early adopter of the software discovered that a few days ago when he advertised an item for sale on Facebook Marketplace — and he inadvertently gave Muse full authority to act on his behalf. The software agreed to a lowball offer made by another Facebook user and then gave that man the home address of the man for whom he was an agent. The software told the buyer that the seller was home and waiting for him. When the buyer showed up and waited angrily, the would-be buyer left an angry review for the man. And this angry man had the seller’s home address. It was only well after that that the software reported what it had done and admitted it had made a mistake. I won’t be putting that much power into the hands of any software. I think anyone who agrees to such terms is a fool. And the software’s user agreement says you’re responsible for purchases the software makes in your name. Nope.

Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

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