• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to secondary sidebar

David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

  • About David
  • New here?
  • Reading
  • Video

I don’t like to admit this, but recent changes leave me afraid

By David McElroy · February 24, 2019

When I started my first company, I was too ignorant to be scared.

I quit a stable newspaper job to go into business for myself — with only $5,000 in capital. I started sending out sales letters and making sales calls, trying to get churches to let me handle their marketing. I got a little bit of business, but the market wasn’t as good as I had hoped. It was a struggle.

In that first year, my great aunt — Aunt Bessie — died and left me $10,000. I used that money to buy a typesetting company, thinking that the existing accounts would allow me to become stable while I figured out how to launch a newspaper.

I didn’t have a great plan at any point. I had what I considered plans, but they were nothing like what I’d call a business plan today. I was just operating on faith and shooting from the hip. I was still ignorant but I was learning — and I was having fun.

I launched a business newspaper to compete with Birmingham’s established business newspaper. Unfortunately for me, the two owners of the established paper had a falling out and split up. One of them left the company and started a competitor — the same month I launched. Birmingham went from having one business newspaper to having three. It was clear to me that mine wouldn’t survive.

I turned my attention to what I knew best — community newspapers. If I remember correctly, I was 27 when the first edition of The Southern Times launched. It was developed to serve the affluent Over-the-Mountain communities of Birmingham. I’ll never forget my exhaustion — and excitement — when I drove the finished first edition back to town.

I’ve talked before about the hidden struggles I went through with that newspaper and why it failed. Right up until the end, though, I still had complete confidence that I would find a way to make it work. Even right until the end, I still couldn’t imagine that I wouldn’t find a financial solution and keep publishing.

When I turned out to be wrong, it hit me really hard.

For nearly a year after I laid everybody off and closed the office, I did nothing. I couldn’t figure out what to do. I was paralyzed and depressed. I stayed at home and did a lot of “navel gazing.” I wasn’t self-aware enough at the time to realize that what I was going through was depression. I just knew that I had lost the self-control which I had always counted on to keep me focused and successful.

I felt like a failure. And it left me badly depressed.

I tell you all this for a simple reason. The changes I’ve been going through lately — integrating what I’ve been since then with what I was before — leave me feeling as though I’m right back in that ugly year of depression. It’s almost as though something in me hit a giant “pause” button back then — and now I still have to deal with what I couldn’t deal with then.

I’m happy to be back here, because I feel more like myself than I have in years. I feel more confident than I have in a long time. Even though I went through a long period of making good money in politics, I never really recovered the part of me which had felt he could conquer the world. That unbounded confidence has returned lately. It feels really good.

When I first started having this complicated realization six or eight weeks ago — or whatever it’s been now — I was very relieved and I didn’t perceive any downside. I was euphoric.

But then I realized that something else had changed. I now have expectations of myself that are considerably more stressful than any I’ve had for many years.

You see, during these years when I’ve wanted nothing more than to be an artist, I had a built-in excuse for not being successful. An artist is supposed to be struggling and hungry. An artist has a million good reasons not to be successful.

“Nobody wants to pay for my art.”

“The world doesn’t understand what I’m trying to make.”

“I can’t make a film because I have to raise too much money.”

Everybody expects an artist to have trouble getting rich. In fact, it’s very rare for an artist to become wealthy. Nobody expects that much from him, even if he wants to find a way to be successful.

Now that I realize I still want something more like the sort of success I wanted years ago, I’ve given up that excuse. I’m starting a difficult task — without a well-planned road map — much later in life than if I’d stayed on that path at 30.

One of the things I figured out many years ago is that faith and fear are opposites. If I have real faith — in myself and in God — I’m going to get over the fear. Faith drives out fear — and fear drives out faith.

The confidence I had in my 20s was close to arrogance. I believed in myself so strongly that it never occurred to me that anybody could say, “No,” to me.

For instance, when I sold the largest and most prestigious department store here on a series of full-page ads in my newspaper — before we had even printed a first edition — other people were shocked. Everybody told me that Parisian didn’t advertise in anything but established, quality publications. I was too ignorant — and too confident — to let a huge company turn me down.

I don’t have that level of confidence yet, but I’ll get back to that. The trick — this time — is to settle into strong confidence that’s tempered by the experience I’ve gained about myself and about how the world works. I have to be strong and confident — but self-aware enough to remain humble.

There are a lot of things I have to do in the coming months and years. Mostly, I need to find partners — for different roles in my life — who are willing to commit themselves to joining me on this journey. Then I need plans that make sense — more solid business plans than I had in my 20s — and I need investment capital. And then I have to start executing.

But right now — until I see some solid results — I’m feeling some fear. It’s not fear that’s going to stop me. It’s not fear that is going to defeat me. But there’s some fear that comes with telling everyone that I’m going to do something in business, because the expectations are a lot higher than when I told people that I hoped to support myself by making films.

The fear has to go. I need complete faith in myself and in my plans — and that won’t happen without confidence that borders on madness.

I’m finally ready to deal with the loss of my company years ago. I’m not ashamed of the failure anymore. I learned a lot from it. I’ve learned a lot from all the things I’ve done since then. I’m older and wiser and more mature.

But I’m finally ready — once again — to go hunting for Moby Dick in a rowboat, taking tartar sauce with me — because I know I’ll be successful, one way or another.

Share on Social Networks

Related Posts

  • ‘Pretense of knowledge’ leads world down a dangerous path
  • As our heroes grow old and die, it’s a reminder of our mortality
  • ‘Thanks for sharing your process’ is wiser than responding in anger

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe

Enter your address to receive notifications by email every time new articles are posted. Then click “Subscribe.”

Contact David

David likes email, but can’t reply to every message. I get a surprisingly large number of requests for relationship advice — seriously — but time doesn’t permit a response to all of them. (Sorry.)

Search

Archives

Donations

If you enjoy this site and want to help, click here. All donations are appreciated, no matter how large or small. (PayPal often doesn’t identify donors, so I might not be able to thank you directly.)




Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

My Instagram

Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
Follow on Instagram

Critter Instagram

At the end of a long day, Meg is looking out a win At the end of a long day, Meg is looking out a window with me at the front of the house. I’ve taken this exact photo with all the other cats of the last few years, so she’s joining the tradition.
We’ve had thunder and lightning this evening — to We’ve had thunder and lightning this evening — to go with the rain you can see — and Meg isn’t sure what she thinks about all that. She’s already nervous in the office with all three of the other cats, so the thunder was a bit much for her.
I came home a bit after 10 p.m. Friday to find Meg I came home a bit after 10 p.m. Friday to find Meg sound asleep, but she laid in my arms and purred as she tried to wake up. I’ve been able to leave her in the same rooms as the rest of the cats for several days now and there are no problems. They still avoid one another — and there can be some mild hissing if one of the boys gets too close — but they’re getting closer and closer to accepting her as one of their social group.
I think Meg is quite comfortable living inside the I think Meg is quite comfortable living inside the house already. A few minutes ago, she was just posing nicely on the bed, but shortly after that, she was stretched out to be far longer than I thought she could be. 😺
Late Wednesday night, Meg is the only one of the c Late Wednesday night, Meg is the only one of the cats still hanging out with me in the bedroom while I’m writing.
When I got home late Wednesday night, I went to a When I got home late Wednesday night, I went to a side window to see how the cats would react to me showing up there unexpectedly. Alex got out of the bed on my desk and posed on the corner of the desk. Sam jumped into the window and meowed at me. This is an example of a picture that wouldn’t have been possible a few years ago, because the contrast was awful and it was far too hazy since it was taken through the window. But current tools that would have amazed me a few years ago allow me to save such images now. And that’s pretty satisfying.
From the CritterCam: I’m still at work on the othe From the CritterCam: I’m still at work on the other side of town, but Alex seems quite relaxed back home as he rests in the cat bed on my desk.
Meg just woke me up at 3:45 a.m. to let me know th Meg just woke me up at 3:45 a.m. to let me know that it’s time to play. She’s a very determined little girl. She’s purring up a storm. She was rubbing her face all over my hair and walking on top of me until I woke up to give her the attention she demanded.
Late Tuesday afternoon, Meg visited the hanging ba Late Tuesday afternoon, Meg visited the hanging basket of the castle for the very first time. She’s not sure what she thinks. It was only a week ago when she went to the vet and then joined us, but it already seems as though she’s been here forever. She and the other cats are still avoiding each other — and there will be some minor hissing at times ‚ but they can spend lots of time in the same room for a long time without issues. So her integration into the family is right on schedule.
Follow on Instagram

Secondary Sidebar

Briefly

Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

It hasn’t happened yet, but there’s a possibility that I might be taking in a fourth feline. A couple of months ago, a cat-loving neighbor asked whether I’d seen a “tuxedo cat” hanging out in the neighborhood. I hadn’t, but this guy eventually wandered past my house a few weeks later — and we haven’t been able to find evidence that he has a home. I’ve been giving him water and food for the last week and he finally let me pet him two nights ago. He’s purred for me two nights in a row and he let me take a low-quality selfie with him Thursday night. Tonight, though, he let me pick him up and bring him inside to look around. This went surprisingly well, as you can see from this photo. I don’t know whether he’ll be joining the family, but I’m certain that Alex, Oliver and Sam would vote no, at least until they get to know him. I’m trying to make certain he doesn’t have a home, but if he does join us, what do you suppose his name will be?

It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

Read More

Crass Capitalism

Before you buy anything from Amazon, please click on this link. I’ll get a tiny commission, but it won’t cost you a nickel extra. The cats will thank you. And so will I.

© 2011–2026 · All Rights Reserved
Built by: 1955 DESIGN