At life’s end, who we’ve loved will matter more than what we’ve owned

By David McElroy · August 23, 2011

I can’t seem to escape children lately. It’s not that I’m trying to avoid them, but I seem to see them everywhere I go — happy children and proud parents full of love for those kids.

I don’t have any children yet, but I really want them. Given the circumstances of my life, I might never have any. I’m told that having the right woman agree to be the mother of your children is one of the prerequisites — and that part is beyond my control.

The closest things I’ve had to kids have been my nieces, Katherine and Anna, and my animals, too numerous to mention by name. (The picture above is about four years old. Anna’s the one on the left with the huge grin. The picture below is Anna with me at the Birmingham Zoo.) They live three hours from me, so I don’t see them as often as I’d like, but I love them very much and I’m proud of them. They’re wonderful girls.

Still, I’d like to have my own family. I bring this up partly because the subject of children and family keeps coming up in my life lately, but also because I was thinking about something related to it over the weekend.

Some people live almost purely for the material world and to experience the sensations the physical world offers. They’re mostly interested in wealth, status, power, ego and their material place in the world. Other people — although fewer than ever — live almost purely for a world of spirit or meaning or love. These people are mostly interested in experiencing God or understanding why they’re here or finding purpose through loving and serving others.

Most of us are somewhere in the middle, but it seems that even though the reality of our lives is some combination of the two, most people tend to identify with one world or the other — and they keep the two in separate “boxes” in their minds, as though the two are mutually exclusive. I’d like to suggest that it’s more reasonable to integrate the two words instead.

Most of what we talk about here is about ideas and principles and power and rights and money. Every one of those is a very important part of this physical world. For as long as we’re on this Earth, those things will matter. Even for those of us who are Christians (or believe in some other kind of afterlife), there’s no reasonable way to set aside the importance of many things in this world. To do so would go against the vast bulk of Christian and Jewish history. More than anything, it would be a very Gnostic thing to do.

But there are things ultimately more important than any of the material things of the world. I want money and I want freedom and I want a place to live and grow with other people. But more than anything, I want to love and be loved. I want to do things of lasting value that will be meaningful to other people after my death. And I want to live in a way consistent with my faith in God. He didn’t put me in just one world or the other. He made me a spiritual creature and a physical creature. I want to integrate those in ways that will cause God to one day say to me, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

I’d like to be able to accumulate money and power over time, but it’s not necessarily to live like a king or be better than anyone else. I want those things because they’re the tools that work in this world to build things that last over time. They don’t endure beyond this world, but if they’re used properly, they can make this world a better place for future generations. When I talk about freedom and a safe place to live, it’s not just for us. It’s for the generations that come after us, too.

When I die, I hope I’ll be able to know that I was the “good and faithful servant” who multiplied his earthly talents, because I want to leave the world a materially better place for others. But when that time comes, I don’t want to be surrounded by stacks of gold or nice essays or even books and films I might have written. By that point, those things won’t matter to me.

I’ll want to know that I’m loved by the people I’m leaving behind. I’ll want to know that I’ve loved — honestly loved — all that I’m capable of. I’ll want to know I’ve made the best of this world that I could and that I’ve been faithful to what I believe God has called me to be. If I do that, I can die a happy man.

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We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

A child having a tantrum understands only one thing: Did I get my way or not? He doesn’t understand the issues involved. He doesn’t understand the reasons that went into a decision. He doesn’t understand any of the things that mature and reasonable adults have to understand in order to live healthy lives. By his reaction to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to strike down his disastrous tariff scheme, Donald Trump shows himself to be — once more — a screaming child having a tantrum. Outside the world of mob bosses who expect to get their way every time, normal adults don’t act this way, but Trump isn’t normal. He’s an angry and vengeful man who has narcissistic personality disorder. And we are in danger as a result. Trump doesn’t understand the legal issues involved in this ruling. He doesn’t understand economics. He doesn’t understand rule of law. He doesn’t understand that he can ever be wrong. All he understands is that he didn’t get his way. And he is now a narcissistic and raging little boy who also happens to hold life-and-death power over most humans on this planet. He’s dangerous — and the system which gives him that power is even more dangerous.

Is it an attempt to blur the gender line between men and women? Or is it some weird tribute to the traditional Scottish kilt? It’s hard to say, but fashion designers keep pushing for men to wear skirts in the last few years. Both men and women in modern fashion seem oddly androgynous, as though it would be offensive for a man to look manly or for a woman to look feminine. A CNN article about the latest fashions from Paris caught my attention Monday and left me wondering about the ugly clothes the designers are hawking. If a man wants to wear a skirt — or a kilt — that’s OK with me, but I’ll stick with a traditional dark suit with a white shirt and tie. (Well, when I’m not wearing t-shirts and sweats, of course.) I always wonder who actually buys the outlandish garb from fashion designers anyway. I would be humiliated to be seen in any of this stuff, but I obviously have no sense of high fashion.

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