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David McElroy

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Until we experience awakening, we’re blind to truth in our hearts

By David McElroy · July 24, 2020

We spend most of our lives wandering blindly.

We see the rooms where we live. We see the streets where we walk. We see buildings and people and cars and cities. For most of us, our physical eyes faithfully show us the world around us.

But our real eyes — our spiritual eyes, emotional eyes, metaphysical eyes, call them what you prefer — are closed and blind. We don’t even know they exist. The physical world is only a tiny fraction of reality, but our spiritual blindness limits us. We are just as blind as a sightless man is in our physical world.

All sorts of truth is written in our hearts. Every now and then, we glimpse that. Ever so often, the inner light is so bright that we can’t ignore it. Those are the times when we simply know things, even when they don’t make sense to anybody else.

I spent most of my life blind to what my heart already knew. But as I’ve slowly started awakening, I often feel overwhelmed with what I know. And once a truth is seen, it can’t be unseen.

Imagine living in a world where everybody is physically blind. Imagine that people in that world deal with everything by sound and touch and smell. Then imagine that you suddenly gained sight. You could suddenly see light and colors and shapes. You could see faces and sunsets and every beautiful thing that your blind body had always hidden from you.

You would suddenly know things about people that others didn’t know. You could read their faces. You could learn to see deceit and love and lust and anger and a million other things that others couldn’t see.

This would open an entirely new world to you.

Opening your spiritual eyes is even more powerful and more dramatic than that. Everything changes. You simply know things that are beyond your rational ability to understand or explain.

My first experiences with this phenomenon were somehow seeing or experiencing something in other people’s hearts that I couldn’t explain. Even before I understood what was going on, I saw something in a very few other people that marked them as “one of us.”

If you imagine that a very few people have a light inside their hearts that glow in a pattern that somehow matches something that feels familiar to me, you’ll get a glimpse. Imagine that you walk around the world and you experience — very rarely — something like a pulsating light from within a person. It’s not really like that, but imagine it.

And imagine that other people don’t seem to see this pulsating light in these people, but you come to trust over time that every time you see that, there is something special about this person — something that matches you. Something that means you need to know that person and be close to that person.

Even though I don’t see any pulsating light, I experience something that’s just as powerful. Every now and then, when I first encounter a person, I can know that person needs to be in my life. Sometimes the reason isn’t immediately clear. Other times, I never get the chance to know the person and the tides of life sweep him or her away. In such cases, I know I’ve missed something.

I’ve experienced this very few times in my life. I’m not sure how many. A dozen? Fewer? It would take me awhile to figure it out.

Every time I have ever fallen in love with a woman, I had that experience upon first encountering her. With others — and in the case of all the men about whom I’ve experienced it — I’ve had peculiar premonitions that I needed to get to know someone who might be important to my development or might be a partner in a way I don’t understand.

Something of this nature might seem like a parlor trick or a useless premonition or mere delusion to others. It doesn’t really matter. I finally feel as though I’m experiencing minor glimpses of additional awakenings that go beyond this. I feel like a spiritual child who’s just barely seen anything at all yet.

I find myself understanding that I come from a Christian tradition which is so head-centered that we’ve mostly lost touch with the spiritual vision which seems to have been common for seekers in the past who were open and willing to see what was already written in the heart. My own religious tradition has been so afraid of false prophets and delusions that we closed our eyes to pretty much everything that can’t be explained in terms of our rational systematic theology.

All of this is virtually impossible to explain to people who are so attached to a materialist view of the world that they scoff at anything they can’t measure and define. But I would ask them to consider — in a concession to my own fear of being irrational — that nothing about quantum physics is rational by the terms of how humans have always understood the physical world.

My heart is strongly attuned to this tonight because I feel attached to someone at this moment in a way that would make no sense to anyone else. I could use metaphors to explain it, but it’s really beyond my understanding. I just know that there’s something like a silver thread — a “philotic connection,” to use a metaphor from science fiction — that binds me in a way that’s stronger than iron chains could do.

And the person to whom I feel this strongly drawn to on this late night is one of those dozen or fewer about whom I’ve instantly known was “one of us.”

I see all of the so dimly at this point. I’m still so blind about most things. I’m painfully slow to learn more of the things I need to see. I’m slow to open my eyes to so much truth that’s in my heart. But when I get a glimpse of it again — and it pulls me in a powerful way that I find impossible to understand — I can’t turn away and I can’t pretend I don’t see it.

Most people will remain blind to such things for their entire lives. There will be rare people in whom I see something inexplicable who will remain blind to what I see. For such people, I can’t take a textbook and say, “See? This is how sight works. This is how you open your eyes and see what I see.” Until and unless they experience their own awakening, it makes no difference what I see.

I realize this feels more like a stream of consciousness than a direct effort to make a point from A to B to C. I realize it will be gibberish to most. Foolishness to others. Complete nonsense to some.

But I have a spiritual light that shines in my own heart. I cover it at times. I lose track of it at times. I let my human pride and even rationality hide it sometimes. Even so, I have to believe that there are a few people who can see what I see, maybe not fully. Maybe faintly. Maybe you can see what I see.

I am slowly experiencing awakenings that are taking me further and further away from the world which seemed so important to me in my earliest years. I’ve learned that truth is already written in my heart if I can just figure out how to open my eyes enough to read it. I’ve learned that life can be full of joy and love and hope and peace when I can live in that Divine Truth.

If you’re one of those people with the same sort of light — or if you can experience something indefinable in a few other people — maybe you’re one of us.

Maybe you’ve had some form of awakening that will allow you to start seeing something beyond what your physical eyes can see.

But once you’ve seen this sort of truth, you can’t unsee it. Once you’ve seen these connections, you have to follow them — no matter what cost you might be afraid of paying.

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I just remembered that I shot photos Friday evenin I just remembered that I shot photos Friday evening just before sunset. These two shots were only about a minute apart, just with different lenses. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
As far as I know, there were no nuclear devices se As far as I know, there were no nuclear devices set off anywhere near Birmingham this evening, but this cloud formation looked very much like a mushroom cloud rising in the west as I went through downtown Birmingham on I-65 around 6:30 tonight. #nature #naturephotography #sky #clouds #birmingham #alabama
For many years, I’ve believed that I could deliv For many years, I’ve believed that I could deliver some message worth sharing through audio or video if I just had the right platform. It’s always been an intuitive feeling, not a specific plan. And now that I have the technology in place to do a wide variety of media, that nasty old inner critic rears its head, asking whether I really have anything worthwhile to say. And as I sit here practicing, I still have no idea who’s right — my long-term intuition or my harsh inner critic.
Just after sunset Friday evening, there was quite Just after sunset Friday evening, there was quite a pastel light show in the sky to the west of me. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
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I just realized that I had some other photos from I just realized that I had some other photos from Wednesday night’s sunset which I could have posted. I ended up posting an iPhone panorama, but this is what a section of that looked like with the Sony A7 IV instead. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
Just a minute before the sun slipped beneath the h Just a minute before the sun slipped beneath the horizon, the late-evening light was colorful and magical Thursday. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I didn’t have a lens wide enough to capture this I didn’t have a lens wide enough to capture this with my “real” camera, so this is just an iPhone panorama. It was beautiful to see in person. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
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For “throwback Thursday, let me introduce you to For “throwback Thursday, let me introduce you to Sam. In 2009, I took in a young feral cat who I named for the early American revolutionary Samuel Adams. He was one of the most confident — downright arrogant, in fact — cats I’ve ever been around. He had an amazing personality and I immediately loved him. He was no more than 8 or 9 months old when he suddenly died for reasons that my vet couldn’t explain. Even though I had him only a short time, he was one of my all-time favorites. #tbt #cats #tabby #feral #birmingham #alabama
I’ve never been as curious about what a cat migh I’ve never been as curious about what a cat might be thinking as I constantly am about Merlin. As I watch him sitting here on the edge of my desk late Wednesday night, I can’t help but conclude he’s a very deep thinker. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2024 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
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Thomas believes that he is the Most Interesting Ca Thomas believes that he is the Most Interesting Cat in the World — and I can’t say he’s wrong tonight. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
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Except when he’s asleep, Thomas always looks as Except when he’s asleep, Thomas always looks as though he’s on high alert and ready to run away from danger. His feral early years still dominate his internal programming. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Lucy just finished her last walk of the day, but s Lucy just finished her last walk of the day, but she still wants more attention. She’s sitting in front of me looking expectantly. She seems certain that we will go outside for one more adventure if she’s persistent enough. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
My favorite photos of Merlin tend to be those — My favorite photos of Merlin tend to be those — such as this one — in which he seems to be contemplating difficult issues. Feline philosophy or quantum physics or something else that he figures I wouldn’t understand. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2024 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturday
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On a live awards show Sunday night, one man made a joke about a female celebrity. The husband of the celebrity was offended and hit the man who made the joke. Or maybe it was staged for entertainment. Who knows? Who cares? Social media is full of discussion — and even arguments — about this idiocy today. This baffles me. Let’s assume for a moment that the event happened as reported. People have been having such idiotic fights ever since there have been humans. Half the bars in the world see such brief dustups regularly. It simply doesn’t matter. The fact that so many people believe they need to talk about this — or even need to have opinions about it — is more evidence of the bizarre media brainwashing that convinces many to care passionately about brain-dead trivia. Your life will be happier and saner if you focus on yourself, your family and your friends, not on whatever scripted (or spontaneous) bilge that the media wants to pipe into your home.

I’m in the middle of migrating this website to new servers this week. This means you might encounter some unexpected behavior until I get all the bugs worked out. Clicking on my links (including this one) might cause your browser to give you the message that it’s a site without a current security certificate. It’s not actually unsafe, but there’s something which isn’t yet set up for the security certificate. I apologize for any such errors you might encounter while the process is going on. If you notice any problems with content which didn’t migrate properly, I would appreciate you letting me know the details at davidmcelroy@mac.com. Thanks for your patience.

I often wonder what animals think when they look at us and consider the society we’ve created. Yes, I know this is fanciful and unrealistic, but what if they could? Would they be astounded at how we treat each other? Would they be disgusted by the ugliness and pettiness which fill so many of our daily interactions? The truth is that I’m feeling pretty disgusted with humanity tonight. I made the mistake of reading some online interactions that I should have avoided — and it sickened me. The people involved appeared to be vile and stupid and arrogant. I wish I could pretend they’re a tiny minority, but I know better. It’s times such as this when I most need to escape much of “civilization” and disconnect from their world. If humans are going to be worthy of “ruling this planet,” we have a lot of growth to do. And I fear that growth is nowhere in sight. So my buddy Thomas, above, and all of his friends would be right to judge us harshly — and to think, “Why do you folks get to be in charge?”

I should have expected this, but I honestly didn’t. The article I wrote last week about disagreements over treatment for autistic children brought me angry emails. You could almost call it “hate mail.” Of the five emails about it so far, two have been to tell me that I’m wrong to even listen to critics of the most popular therapy for autistic children — and the other three tell me I’m wrong for not condemning the treatment as the “obvious” abuse it is. If you read the article, you know I didn’t take a position on the issue, because I simply don’t know enough to have an opinion. But by talking about the issue, I stepped into a heated controversy. The emails from the two sides convinced me of nothing. But they did give me even more empathy for the unfortunate parents who have to figure out for themselves where the truth lies for their children.

Have you ever had what you thought was a new idea — and then discovered that “old you” had the same idea years ago? I had that experience tonight. And it’s been wonderful. I came up with an idea tonight for a very short satirical film that would be a promotion for a fictitious college. The point is to make the college promote — as good things — everything which is actually terrible about most modern colleges. Then I remembered a fake college that I invented back when I was in college. I had created student recruitment brochures and various newsletters back then, so I decided to call my “new” college by the same name I’d invented years ago: Ochita College. As I searched my computer for any old material I might still have about Ochita from the past, I discovered an email I sent to someone in 2009 — outlining essentially the same idea which I came up with tonight. Since I didn’t remember writing that, it felt like magic. So my next film project just might be this one instead. If all goes well, you might soon see “Ochita College: Your Future Starts Here.” This should be fun.

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