It’s been years since I’ve fallen in love. Ever since I lost that last relationship, I’ve wondered whether I could ever fall in love again. But I met a woman last week who’s given me hope. Just a little bit.
I was walking through a parking lot when I saw a woman get out of a car. Something about her face struck me in a way that hasn’t happened for a very long time. She was tall and strikingly beautiful, but it wasn’t that. Not really. I meet beautiful women all the time. This one was different.
I can’t explain it, but there was something behind her face — in her eyes as she glanced at me — that felt familiar. It was like recognizing someone who I’d never actually met. I had to talk to her.
I don’t remember exactly what I said, but we chatted as we walked in the same direction. I got to the door where I was going and stopped. She first kept going, but then she hesitated and turned around and we kept chatting.
We both needed to get to the places we were going. I knew it was a long shot to talk with her again after such a chance meeting, but I came up with an excuse to give her my business card.
She took my card and then we went our separate ways. I thought I’d probably never talk to her again, but it made me happy to have met a beautiful and bright young woman — for the first time in a long, long time — who I wanted to talk to again.
Thursday night, she called me.
It had been more than a week, so I was starting to think I wasn’t going to hear from her. It was a pleasant surprise.
We talked for nearly two hours. She’s interesting. She’s intelligent and well-read. We have similar values and interests. It was different from anything I’ve experienced for close to a decade.
The odds aren’t high that she and I will fall in love. It may be that absolutely nothing will come of it. I know that. But for the first time in seven years — or is it eight years? — I finally had hope that someone else existed who I could fall in love with.
That’s all this meant, but that was enough. It’s been so long since I’ve had even a glimmer of hope that it was possible to love anyone else that I didn’t remember what it felt like.
I remember the first time I talked with the last woman who I fell in love with. That was exciting and new and very emotional. This wasn’t exactly the same, but it was similar.
I don’t know what else might happen. Probably nothing. Most such meetings don’t lead to anything long term. So this woman might not be the next one I love. And that’s OK.
For tonight, it’s enough to believe it’s possible again. After being tortured with the fear of going to my grave loving someone from years ago, it’s enough to finally have hope — just a little bit — that it’s possible for me to love someone else.
Even if nothing happens with her — and it probably won’t — it’s salve for a long-suffering heart to even believe it’s possible. Because I do want to love someone again, whoever she turns out to be.