Giving unsolicited advice is controlling behavior, whether people realize it or not. Those who give such advice might tell you they’re just trying to be helpful, but it’s controlling and it’s arrogant. It says, “I know more than you do — and you should do what I think is right.” Most of the time when you try to tell others what they ought to do, you’re wrong about much of what you say, simply because you don’t know enough about other people’s lives to know all of the details of their situations. When people vent about certain things in their lives — whether it’s in person or on social media — they’re not necessarily looking for you to solve their problems.
They’re looking for some empathy and understanding. And if they want advice, they’ll ask. If you’re not sure whether they’re open to advice, ask. But don’t go blindly telling people what they ought to do. That’s arrogant and it’s ignorant. (No, I’m not giving unsolicited advice to anybody. I’m not giving advice to any particular person. I’m just begging you to treat other people better.)
This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or you can watch this video below.