Some rewards are great enough to ignore risks and take big chances

By David McElroy · September 7, 2011

I was talking with a friend earlier today about risks and rewards. She’s more conservative than I am about risks, so she sometimes has trouble letting herself mentally commit to something risky — especially when the reward is something she really wants.

The conversation reminded me of a story I’d like to share with you.

…I attended a lecture being given by a man who had made millions of dollars speculating in commodities. Along with several hundred other people, I had paid five dollars to hear how to make a fortune in the commodities market using the system developed by this highly successful trader.

The air in the packed meeting room was charged with excitement. We all felt as if we were being let in on a valuable secret that would make us all rich. By the middle of the lecture, the speaker had built up a full head of steam, explaining his charts, talking about margins and contracts and the different kinds of orders he placed with his broker.

Suddenly a spectator near the back of the large room stood up and said, “Hey, wait a minute. From what I can see, all this speculation is very risky business. Don’t you realize that you can lose every penny you have — and then some?”

The millionaire responded without hesitating. “Why, yes. I certainly do realize that.”

“Then why do you continue to speculate.”

“I don’t know exactly why,” the lecturer answered. “I just know I’m willing to take the risk.”

“Well, I’m not,” the spectator snapped.

“The rich man smiled, paused a moment, and said, “That might be why I’m giving this lecture and you’re paying for it.” The audience exploded with laughter as the spectator blushed and sat down. He didn’t ask another question that evening.

I’m not trying to get you to consider speculating in commodities. (In fact, straight speculation in commodities tends to be disastrous.) But I am suggesting that most of us are too scared to take reasonable chances to get what we want. What’s more, we’re most afraid of taking chances when it comes to the things we most desperately need.

It’s scary to take risks. It’s sometimes scary to think that we might be worthy of the things we most want and need in life. We might easily take a sudden and momentary risk at the wheel of a car to shave 15 seconds off of an arrival time when we’re running late, but it’s much harder to take emotional and psychological risks that can allow us to attain the things that matter most to us, whether it’s love or other important life goals.

I haven’t always been willing to take risks. As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I have a long history as a closet coward. I know that the chances I’m willing to take right now might not all pay off. I might lose everything. As the commodities speculator said, “I just know I’m willing to take the risk,” because some potential payoffs are worth risking everything for.

Note: The story comes from Mike Hernacki’s book, “The Ultimate Secret to Getting Absolutely Everything You Want.”

Share on Social Networks

It was five years ago tonight when Lucy first rode in the car with me. She was on her way to her “forever home” with me that night, but she didn’t know it, so she was terrified. It was a much happier and braver girl who took a ride in the car tonight so we could go through a drive-through window and order a hamburger for her — to celebrate five years with me. She had a great time. If she could remember five years ago tonight, she would be proud of how far she’s come, too. If you’d like to know more about Lucy’s journey from scared dog to brave queen of the household, here’s something I wrote after her first year with me. I’m hoping this girl will have many more happy years with me.

I’ve never been attracted to skinny women. There’s nothing wrong with someone who’s naturally thin, but it’s never been my preference. What has shocked me, though, is the judgment I’ve heard from women all through my life — about themselves and others — about who’s “fat.” I concluded long ago that most women in our culture have been brainwashed to believe that skinny is attractive — and that anything other than skinny is ugly. I first assumed that I was the oddball — for preferring women with bigger and heavier bodies — but I’m coming to the conclusion that most men naturally feel this way to one extent or another. I just ran across new research by a couple of Northwestern University psychology professors that shows that women seriously overestimate how much a straight man will be attracted to a skinny woman. In a perfect world, we would all be at a healthy weight, but when it comes to attractiveness, too heavy is more attractive than skinny. At least to me — and to a lot of men, too.

Years ago, I heard a question that seemed very insightful at the time. You’ve probably heard it, too. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? The question is intended to help you uncover things you really want to do, but which you’re afraid to try — for fear of failure. In an interview today, I heard the great marketing guru Seth Godin give a different point of view. He said the better question is to ask what you would do even if you knew it would fail. That struck me as far more insightful than the original version. We ought to be doing what we know is right, not what will maximize our success or praise from others. There are some battles that are worth fighting even if you believe you’re doomed to failure. Those battles are often for love or important ideas or our children. Some things are simply worth fighting for — and the truth is that you might win anyway. Do the right thing. Take the chance.

The more I understand about myself, about human nature and about the nature of reality, the more I realize I’m a radical by the standards of both Modernism and Postmodernism. Seeing the things which I’m stumbling toward makes me an enemy of many of the core ideas upon which contemporary culture is built. It exposes the culture as a monstrous lie — like a dangerous infection that’s slowly destroying what human were created to be. My “inner observer” has always known that truth was found in the ideas of the Enlightenment, but I’m slowly finding words to explain what has merely been instinct until now. The Enlightenment was humanity’s great leap forward, but shallow and arrogant thinkers for the next two centuries threw away the fruits of that achievement. We can’t go forward as a species until we go back to correct this intellectual and spiritual error — and part of that is acknowledging that our collective attempts to do away with our Creator will always fail.

I’ve come to believe that some of us — including me — aren’t very good at knowing how to be happy. I don’t mean that in the sense that happy talk and positive thinking should be able to make us happy regardless of the circumstances. I mean that some of us had so much experience with being unhappy when we were young that we were trained to be unhappy — and that being happy is an unconsciously uncomfortable thing. When I look at times in my past when I should have been happy, it rarely lasted. I believe now that I found reasons to be unhappy — and caused real problems for myself — because being comfortable and happy felt so foreign to my programming. If I’m right, this means that some of us have to do more than just change our circumstances. It means we have to learn how to accept the happiness that we unconsciously fear we don’t deserve.

Related Posts