For the first time in my life, I’m happy. At least some of the time.
That’s not exactly the right word — when I say “happy” — but it’s the best way I know to describe it. Have I ever experienced happiness before? Yes, of course. But when I’ve been happy in the past, it’s always been that I’ve felt happy about something in particular.
I was happy that a woman loved me. I was happy that I’d solved a major problem. Or gotten something new. Achieved something that made me feel good for a moment.
But there was always an expiration date on those things, even if I often didn’t understand that. If I felt happy that a particular woman loved me — someone who I had wanted, for instance — I typically felt as though this was the one thing that would make me happy for life.
But there was always something missing. Something was wrong.
Once the relationship died — or the shiny new object lost its shine — I always grew restless. Something inside me was always looking for the next big thing that would make me happy.
Slowly — without me consciously noticing it — something changed. A miracle happened.

There’s pain in many faces I see, as reality doesn’t match dreams
Narcissists use ‘flying monkeys’ to keep victimizing their victims
Ocasio-Cortez and Trump just like characters in ’75 satire ‘Network’
Politicians have no right dictating the menu of your kid’s Happy Meal
Is Big Brother taking over your refrigerator and other appliances?
Turkey pardon? How about pardons for jailed innocent people instead?
I hate the intense pain, but I don’t know how to live without longing
No, I can’t support your campaign; changing candidates won’t fix things
We can’t defeat the existing system; we must build a better one instead