By the standards of my younger self, I’ll always be a failure. And that’s fine with me.
Our culture is obsessed with riches and status. We unconsciously judge people according to their level of success. We’re envious of those who get ahead and those who have more than we do. We judge others harshly — sometimes loudly and sometimes silently — for not living up to their “potential.”
I grew up this way. Maybe you did, too. I wanted success and power and money. I saw those things as the path to status and freedom. And I expected myself to be very successful.
But something happened along the way. I learned there was a tradeoff between worldly success and personal satisfaction with life. I learned that I couldn’t “have it all.” I struggled for years to find a compromise between the two — to see a way to follow incompatible values. And I failed.
When I crashed, I crashed hard, like a train jumping off its tracks. I went off the rails about 15 years ago — metaphorically speaking — and refused to move until I could figure out what had gone so terribly wrong. Why I felt like a failure.
I finally discovered that my culture had lied to me.

Why do so many of us stay where we know we’ll remain miserable?
We’re giving up power over our lives to people we can’t control
After years of silence, it’s time to tell the truth about my father
I can’t get over this terrible feeling that I need to talk to you on video
At times, we have to just wait for the day when we’ll see the fruit
Sudden realization of hunger for taste of kindred soul is killing me
For rest of my life, I’ll constantly re-interpret mother I didn’t know
I’m still hungry for healthy love that my 5-year-old self craved