By the standards of my younger self, I’ll always be a failure. And that’s fine with me.
Our culture is obsessed with riches and status. We unconsciously judge people according to their level of success. We’re envious of those who get ahead and those who have more than we do. We judge others harshly — sometimes loudly and sometimes silently — for not living up to their “potential.”
I grew up this way. Maybe you did, too. I wanted success and power and money. I saw those things as the path to status and freedom. And I expected myself to be very successful.
But something happened along the way. I learned there was a tradeoff between worldly success and personal satisfaction with life. I learned that I couldn’t “have it all.” I struggled for years to find a compromise between the two — to see a way to follow incompatible values. And I failed.
When I crashed, I crashed hard, like a train jumping off its tracks. I went off the rails about 15 years ago — metaphorically speaking — and refused to move until I could figure out what had gone so terribly wrong. Why I felt like a failure.
I finally discovered that my culture had lied to me.

Snapshots of hurting people and broken families, but no resolutions
How does modern culture escape ‘little boxes made of ticky tacky’?
What do U.S. colleges sell today? Knowledge or just access to jobs?
Minnesota protects its citizens from the horrors of free education online
Can I talk myself into not wanting great things I fear I’ll never have?
When doubt wakes me at dawn, my world seems a lonely place
Hypocritical Republicans wimp out on free market when politics calls
Double standards seem like the only standards most politicians know