I have been a stranger in this place all my life.
An alien. Just a visitor.
I was born among a people who I didn’t understand. A society that felt alien. A culture that felt cruel and perverted.
All my life, I have struggled between two competing compulsions. Part of me felt as though I had to fit in here. I felt that I had to conform. I had to become acceptable to the people around me — the ones who were so quick to judge me and ridicule me when I didn’t imitate them.
The other part of me has always been searching for a home that I knew was somewhere else. That part of me knew that I was an alien among these people. That part knew that I was looking for something. A person? A place? A force? I didn’t know.
The more I understood that I was a stranger in this land, the more I vaguely conceived that I was looking for another place. Not a physical place that’s on a map. I was looking for the place where I would find this “something” that I was compelled to find.

Watching a friend’s happy family makes me feel pangs of jealousy
Finding joy brings more happiness than the empty pursuit of pleasure
Once you’ve found the right love, build your whole world around her
Until you ask the right questions, you’ll never find missing answers
Illegal bribes mean a politician is corrupt, but the legal things he does are just as immoral
What really caused me to run from a ‘haunted house’ long ago?
Is Paul Krugman serious or is this some kind of weird performance art?
Here’s Valentine’s Day music for lonely folks with nobody to love
Forgotten photos are a powerful memory of a friend who’s left me