By the standards of my younger self, I’ll always be a failure. And that’s fine with me.
Our culture is obsessed with riches and status. We unconsciously judge people according to their level of success. We’re envious of those who get ahead and those who have more than we do. We judge others harshly — sometimes loudly and sometimes silently — for not living up to their “potential.”
I grew up this way. Maybe you did, too. I wanted success and power and money. I saw those things as the path to status and freedom. And I expected myself to be very successful.
But something happened along the way. I learned there was a tradeoff between worldly success and personal satisfaction with life. I learned that I couldn’t “have it all.” I struggled for years to find a compromise between the two — to see a way to follow incompatible values. And I failed.
When I crashed, I crashed hard, like a train jumping off its tracks. I went off the rails about 15 years ago — metaphorically speaking — and refused to move until I could figure out what had gone so terribly wrong. Why I felt like a failure.
I finally discovered that my culture had lied to me.

As humans live in slums, why do I complain about my privileged life?
If you listen carefully, your heart will tell you what you really need
Dead man’s watch always there to remind me of my own mortality
The time is rapidly coming when I’m quitting Facebook for good
Sick of partisan political conflicts? Join me in taking a 90-day break
‘Curing’ unpopular beliefs through psychiatry is throwback to ugly past
Genetics, culture work together to drive us to pursue what we want
Narcissists use ‘flying monkeys’ to keep victimizing their victims
If your own life is all messed up, lecture others about fixing theirs