For the first time in my life, I’m happy. At least some of the time.
That’s not exactly the right word — when I say “happy” — but it’s the best way I know to describe it. Have I ever experienced happiness before? Yes, of course. But when I’ve been happy in the past, it’s always been that I’ve felt happy about something in particular.
I was happy that a woman loved me. I was happy that I’d solved a major problem. Or gotten something new. Achieved something that made me feel good for a moment.
But there was always an expiration date on those things, even if I often didn’t understand that. If I felt happy that a particular woman loved me — someone who I had wanted, for instance — I typically felt as though this was the one thing that would make me happy for life.
But there was always something missing. Something was wrong.
Once the relationship died — or the shiny new object lost its shine — I always grew restless. Something inside me was always looking for the next big thing that would make me happy.
Slowly — without me consciously noticing it — something changed. A miracle happened.

FRIDAY FUNNIES
Laughing at the ‘rapture cult’? Those who believe in the state are no different
When politicians insist the ‘war on drugs’ is working, they’re just following majoritarian incentives
Eviction leaves me sifting through collateral damage of a broken life
In the name of ‘fairness,’ everyone forced to pay for expensive chair lifts
My utopia’s different from your utopia — and that’s just fine
Dogs, cats and children remind me of all the joy in small things