I have been a stranger in this place all my life.
An alien. Just a visitor.
I was born among a people who I didn’t understand. A society that felt alien. A culture that felt cruel and perverted.
All my life, I have struggled between two competing compulsions. Part of me felt as though I had to fit in here. I felt that I had to conform. I had to become acceptable to the people around me — the ones who were so quick to judge me and ridicule me when I didn’t imitate them.
The other part of me has always been searching for a home that I knew was somewhere else. That part of me knew that I was an alien among these people. That part knew that I was looking for something. A person? A place? A force? I didn’t know.
The more I understood that I was a stranger in this land, the more I vaguely conceived that I was looking for another place. Not a physical place that’s on a map. I was looking for the place where I would find this “something” that I was compelled to find.

When life becomes too passive, we stop earning our self-respect
I don’t regret my choices, but I do lament choices he refused to make
I’m a liar — and you are, too; most of all, we lie to ourselves
‘Let’s Make a Deal’: Democracy is like a dumb old TV game show
False dichotomy: Your choice isn’t coercive state vs. lawlessness
Against all rational choice of will, an old hunger in my heart returns
THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Henry, the tiny kitten who was dumped with a broken leg and a big heart
I can’t help wanting to replay life with emotionally healthy parents