It’s hard for me to love other people. It’s even harder for me to love myself.
I was driving home from work Monday evening and I had just angrily hung up the phone. A woman had called me from a company that did some work at my house a few years ago. I didn’t like the way the company was handling its business with me, but it was nothing personal with the woman.
The thing that annoyed me wasn’t her fault. She was just reading a script. She was doing her job. But I was in a bad mood — and I took out my frustrations on her.
I wasn’t nasty or rude, but I certainly wasn’t kind or loving.
As I drove the rest of the way down I-459 toward home, I stewed in my irritation, but my annoyance quickly turned toward myself. I wasn’t upset with that woman or her company.
I lectured myself about being a hypocrite. I berated myself about my unwillingness to live up to my values when it wasn’t convenient — when I wasn’t in the right mood.

If you have a good enough reason, you’ll leave your addiction behind
Words I wrote as idealistic teen suggest I’m still the same inside
Does the ocean offer the best chance of escaping the state?
Latest shutdown means most papers where I worked are gone
Angry behavior on social media is killing you and hurting your cause
Can I reconnect with inner child who saw the world differently?
The love we give abandoned animals can actually rescue us