For the first time in my life, I’m happy. At least some of the time.
That’s not exactly the right word — when I say “happy” — but it’s the best way I know to describe it. Have I ever experienced happiness before? Yes, of course. But when I’ve been happy in the past, it’s always been that I’ve felt happy about something in particular.
I was happy that a woman loved me. I was happy that I’d solved a major problem. Or gotten something new. Achieved something that made me feel good for a moment.
But there was always an expiration date on those things, even if I often didn’t understand that. If I felt happy that a particular woman loved me — someone who I had wanted, for instance — I typically felt as though this was the one thing that would make me happy for life.
But there was always something missing. Something was wrong.
Once the relationship died — or the shiny new object lost its shine — I always grew restless. Something inside me was always looking for the next big thing that would make me happy.
Slowly — without me consciously noticing it — something changed. A miracle happened.

When you’re finally facing death, how many people will love you?
Media and mass hysteria lead us into madness of celebrity worship
Are you ready for chaos when fed shutdown turns your gravity off?
We project an image for others, but few see us as we really are
Your ignored mistakes quickly become impossible to change
Who was this attractive woman? Why did her story not ring true?
If you repress feelings long enough, depression attacks without warning
Letting go of dead dreams can lead to path you need to follow
Understanding often matters more than solving someone’s problems