For the first time in my life, I’m happy. At least some of the time.
That’s not exactly the right word — when I say “happy” — but it’s the best way I know to describe it. Have I ever experienced happiness before? Yes, of course. But when I’ve been happy in the past, it’s always been that I’ve felt happy about something in particular.
I was happy that a woman loved me. I was happy that I’d solved a major problem. Or gotten something new. Achieved something that made me feel good for a moment.
But there was always an expiration date on those things, even if I often didn’t understand that. If I felt happy that a particular woman loved me — someone who I had wanted, for instance — I typically felt as though this was the one thing that would make me happy for life.
But there was always something missing. Something was wrong.
Once the relationship died — or the shiny new object lost its shine — I always grew restless. Something inside me was always looking for the next big thing that would make me happy.
Slowly — without me consciously noticing it — something changed. A miracle happened.

Fear of potential loss is a terrible reason to stay in the wrong place
Flashy ‘stimulus’ projects conceal truth that the state destroys wealth
AUDIO: Spark between two hearts can be beautiful mystery of love
Why have I kept dreaming about baby in need for last two weeks?
Our inexplicable behavior ‘signals’ to the world who and what we are
FRIDAY FUNNIES
Hank Williams story reminds me I’ve always wanted to be a star
How can I make sense of a world that’s fundamentally nonsensical?