I have trouble giving up on people.
It’s not just people, though. It’s more accurate to say I have trouble giving up on whatever fantasy of the future that I’ve created in my mind. Sometimes that involves people. Sometimes it’s an achievement I’ve set my heart on. It can be any fantasy of what I think my life is going to look like.
I fall in love with my fantasies, I suppose. My life will be perfect when I make this thing happen. Everything will be perfect when this woman loves me and we live happily ever after.
And when I figure out that I’ve been chasing the wrong thing, I have trouble letting go of it. I have trouble saying that this thing is never going to happen. It’s hard for me to admit that maybe the thing I’ve been chasing was never good for me anyway.
When I stubbornly cling to dreams that are already dead, I sometimes allow myself to miss better opportunities. I sometimes mope so much about what I can’t have — even something I’ve decided isn’t good for me — that I miss better choices.
It’s been very difficult for me to stop watering dead flowers.

Experimentation produces beauty that won’t come from slavishly following One True Way
Leave your dead past behind; that’s not where you’re going
If abortion is just simple choice, why is killing babies for gender bad?
In a relationship, some words more important than ‘I love you’
Honesty, wisdom and insight teach that we have to live with uncertainty
UPDATE: After surgery, maybe I’ll eventually start feeling better
This is why people are confused about what anarchists really are
I’ll sell you a cookie-cutter home, but I wish you loved good design
We all see bits and pieces of reality; not a one of us sees whole picture