The older man at the next table looked a bit as though he was lost. I wouldn’t say he looked sad. He seemed more like a man who didn’t know where to go or what to do — almost like a little boy who had lost his parents. I had no idea that he had actually just lost his wife.
Jim and I struck up a casual conversation, but he didn’t have a lot of enthusiasm at first. If I hadn’t made a passing reference to his wife, I’m sure we wouldn’t have talked any further and I wouldn’t have learned his story. He had been sitting in a booth staring aimlessly out the window for close to an hour as I ate and wrote. Since I noticed he was wearing a wedding ring, I joked that his wife must have kicked him out of the house and he didn’t have anywhere else to go.
“I buried my wife two weeks ago,” he said softly.
Jim is 72 years old and seemed to be in excellent health. His wife had developed some kind of cancer early last year and it moved into more critical organs as the year went along. He had known for months that she didn’t have much time left. It’s still a shock to have her gone, though. He said he doesn’t quite know what to do.
He had once had his own accounting practice, but he hadn’t really wanted to retire, so he had stuck around working part-time for others ever since he sold his firm. For his entire life, his work and his church activities have taken up the vast majority of his time. He seemed to have done well financially, but he started talking to me about the things that have been on his mind since he lost his wife.

Too many voices with little to say: Politics matters less and less to me
Slow death of painful past leaves me trapped in fog of depression
Stunningly arrogant Vatican paper demands world economic dictator
The more I see of death, the more determined I am to live life fully
Suicide’s what happens when you can’t find reasons to keep living
Problem for schools: ‘stop students from becoming this advanced’
Real-life ‘ghost story’: The tale of a house that didn’t want me there
Quit thinking about ‘jobs’; Think about what value you can provide
In the face of hazardous times, some still driven to be helpers