When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.
I felt shame for my lack of love, but God said, ‘You can do better’
I hate the intense pain, but I don’t know how to live without longing
What’s the difference between a cop and an actual peace officer?
You never know when someone needs a hug — to know you care
Competent, beautiful girl mirrors what I’d love to have in daughter
Federal ‘help’ makes medical care more expensive and less available
Nature made me like my mother, but my father tried to erase that
Contradiction in terms: There’s no such thing as ‘limited government’
With each ‘improvement,’ we’re losing family and community