When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

Evil media bias? It depends on which lens you’re looking through that day
I want to live a life my kids will want to emulate as they grow up
We like to think we’re complex, but personality gurus pegged me
Goodbye, Courtney Haden
Our inexplicable behavior ‘signals’ to the world who and what we are
Double standards seem like the only standards most politicians know
Just give us big, fake, happy smiles; nobody wants to hear your feelings
Identity crisis may be long-coming integration of warring parts of me
N.C. Eagle Scout can’t graduate after accidentally bringing gun to school